Speed this UP!!!!!!

Just sitting here missing the man. How sad is that? It seems the more time that we share our life together the more I want to be with him and dread nights alone. I know that we have a future; I am not worried about that. Though I guess I am in the stage of “getting this show on the road”. We had a great weekend, as every time spent together. When my children are at their fathers I just enjoy him. Even if we simply lie around the house and work in the yard, workout, cook, etc. Though it is getting so hard. When you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with a person and you are simply in a holding pattern. We would never live together, due to our children, so we try to spend as much time as time allows.

So here I am acting like I am 16. I truly miss him and it was only 12 hours ago he was cooking me breakfast.

Anyone ever been there? I know that we both want 1 ½ years before we marry each other, though the next few months are gonna kill me.

It is totally his decision and I would never push him or force him to move this along. Though I do crave to just know that at the end of the day I will shut my eyes and he will be the last thing I see.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Insearch

Insearch,

I know exactly where you're at. It seems that when I see my lady, spend time with her and have a wonderful time, either dining out, at a movie, taking a day trip, or just having coffee, I feel that I miss her greatly when we aren't together. As a single father with full custody, I also know what you mean about children.

I am probably much more ready to marry than she is, not due to any lack of love on her part, but due to still working through some things, and I must simply accept the fact that the relationship will not speed up.

I drive a muscle car, I used to sing in two metal bands and a fast paced rockabilly band, and I am into shred guitar. I like my current dial up service because it's much faster than Verizon, and as a fencer and a martial artist, speed is something that is very much a part of my life. Even the daily pace of life is greatly accelerated from what it was just ten years ago.

But a loving relationship is a very different matter. It cannot be rushed in such a way, and most ladies, at least in my experience, prefer a man with a slow hand, so to speak. My lady and I haven't even gotten to the physical aspect of our relationship beyond handholding, hugs and kisses, but even at this stage, speed and hustle are not things either of us enjoy.

Great relationships are worth investing time into, and there is no way to build a great relationship without doing so. Also, everyone moves at a different pace, so sometimes, you may be more ready for some things than he is, and he may be more ready in other areas than you are.

Eventually, however, it will all even out, and then you two can shift into cruising gear, so to speak. Just don't rush it. You'll learn alot about eachother over the next year, or so, and you will both be better able to proscess these things and be prepared to deal with them, and enjoy them, if you are prepared before you live together.

Best wishes and blessings upon you both, and as always, Keep on ROCKIN'!!!!!!

Dan E

Thanks Speed Demon Aka Dan E....

How long have you been in your relationhip? We are going on 14 months and it seems to just get harder. We are working towards future... looking at homes, selling his "mid life crisis mobile" :) and stuff like that.... though it is just really hard.

I know he isn't there yet, and that is fine. I would never want to push someone into that, so I don't say anything to him to speed it up. He knows I love him, he knows I miss him when I don't see him and he also knows I won't date him forever........

We shall see.... it is just waaaaay hard at times..... I don't know.... sometimes I hate the way I feel about him, he is the only mand that has and does make me giddy and 16 again!


Thanks for your post, and good luck to you!

Weve been together about the same, Inseach, and in our relationship, I am the one in your shoes.

I want to build a life together with her, and while I know that her feelings for me are the same, she has some things to work through, and also, I have some things to get done before we can move too much further except emotionally.

I will say that I never hate how I feel about her, but it can be very frustrating at times. Also, I have already told her, and know in my heart, that I will wait indefinitely, so I have effectively cut off any out as far as quitting if things don't move at a faster pace. There are times when I feel like I want to put a time limit on things, but then I remind myself of why I am willing to wait in the first place. There will never be another like her, and she is truly THE love of my life.

To be fair, we do move along emotionally at a fairly steady pace, and the more I get to know her, the more I fall hopelessly for her.

I really respect you both for waiting to move in on account of your children. Most people simply want what they want. My ex has had three different people move in with her since she's left, and is marrying the third one in May, at which point they will not even have their one year dating anniversary.

I really know how you feel, Insearch, although our situation is a bit different than yours. I am curious about one thing, however:

What the heck is a midlife crisismobile?

Keep on Rockin',

DanE

I understand how you feel too insearch. I want to hurry things up and it's only been about 9 months! Although it's hard to be patient, I think it really pays off in the end, especially with kids involved. It's so tough though isn't it? When you love someone, you just want to get the dating bit over with and get on with it! Knowing that I'm doing the right thing by going slow is the only thing that really gives me comfort when I get frustrated with it.

WHEW! Okay glad to know I am sooo not alone in this…I was feeling a bit needy! HA

Dan E… the midlife mobile …. Would be the bright yellow, special ordered, two seater convertible…… *laughs*….you boys and toys…..

Nessa,

What did you do to "MOVE" Brian? How long did you date?

Yeah...I'd like some move along advice too....pretty please?

We have been dating...brace yourselves...four years. *sigh* I wouldn't even have a problem with a year or so engagement...I would just like a proposal????

He's not ready or the time isn't right..etc etc. I know he's young (he's 22), but for goodness sake.

In the back of my mind I always see me getting something like 10 years invested in this...and still not having the damned proposal.

Im whining..I know it...I apologize...