Ok here's a question for you all,

What about the ex's........how did they respond to the new one in your life? (meaning ym).......Were they freaked by it or disgusted ..........Ok with it, or didn't even care?

My ex-husband asked me how old my new husband was.......I confess I told him that he was one year older then he really was, back then I was kind of embarrised......I never told my husband now I didn't want to hurt his feelings, besides now Im so secure I don't even care what anyone thinks.........But as far as my ex goes, he never said anything about it............What about the ex in your life? How did he respond if at all?...........And as far as the ym how was it for you to tell someone close to you?........Were you upfront? How did they accept it?

When I told my ex about my new fella, it was still really fresh in our breakup and I don't really blame him for being bitter or whatever...

When he found out how old he was, he tried to be all, "Wow, you could have babysat him! Talk about robbing the cradle" and I was just like, "Nice try. I like the fact that he's younger, and all the jokes in the world are only going to make me feel even better about my choice" and that was the LAST he ever said about it. TO ME, that is. Haha, I'm sure a ton of other people had to listen to a million things about his horrible ex and her young zygote of a boyfriend!!!!

Yeah, my ex didn't handle it very well either, actually. He referred to my b/f as "that boy you are dating", and made comments like "off of the school bus and into your bed". *frown*

My b/f was only 18 when we started dating, so I can see how it kind of shocked him. Ironically, his wife is, I believe, either 10 or 11 years younger than he is....

My ex-husband has never said anything negative about Remi's age at all. In fact, I think he's kind of in denial that I am actually going through with marrying him. He used to ask me questions occasionally in the past, but now he doesn't ask me anything about him at all. Every now and then, I'll bring him up just to let him know that everything is still going according to plan, but he doesn't comment. I think he realizes that he lost something very special when he walked away from our marriage and he has no right to say anything to me at all.

Now, the guy that I was dating just prior to Remi didn't take the news well. One day he was online and asked me how things were going with me. When I told him that I am marrying Remi, he threw a fit. He remembered me talking about Remi when he and I were involved and Remi and I were just friends at that time. He remembered that Remi is much younger than me and he calls him "the kid". He said some pretty nasty stuff to me about it all, including that I just wanted to **** a kid. So, needless to say, he and I haven't talked since. Jealous idiot. :rolleyes:

My ex doesn't have a problem with Hasan's age. He wasn't even surprised that a younger man would find me attractive. He hated the fact I was with anyone, but when he finally met him face to face, he just told him he had better be good to me, and shook his hand.

When I told my first X about Litical, he was WAY cool. Totally supportive, said nothing negative whatsoever and is still WAY cool about it. At the time, his girlfriend was 12 years younger than him. :D

I didn't have to tell my second X (most recent) as he had initiated our breakup and told Litical he could date me and we dated... he does not like it though and makes HORRIBLE comments anytime we communicate. As I said to him, "Why would you tell him he could date me and then get so MAD about it?" He's never answered that question. :rolleyes:

I think that he figured I only dated Litical after our breakup for his hot bod or something and resents the fact that we could make anything of our relationship at all! Therefore lashes out in anger about it? Of course... I don't know, that's just a hypothesis.

~phosphorescent

Good question Lorena, and one that makes me smile.

My ex-husband lives on the other end of the country from us, so I don't deal with him much anymore, but when we met up to settle some business back near the time when I had first met my honey, I let ex-h know I was seeing someone. Just for the heck of it I told him to guess the guy's age...and he was only one year off! (He guessed 27 and my love was 26 at the time.) Ex-h was 49.

So it would seem that ex-h wasn't surprised I was with a younger man. LOL.

And he took it ok (at least to my face), as far as I'm concerned he didn't have any choice. After all, I'd left ex-h almost 2 years previous.

As I say, I hardly deal with ex-h anymore, but this question calls my attention to the fact that every phone call from him includes a quasi-concerned general "Is everything ok?" Sounds like he's hoping to hear that they're not, especially regarding the YM.

Hate to tell him, but things are WAYYYYY better than they ever were. If he only knew. :D

My ex husband who couldn't give me a child (because we ended up having a sexless marriage) was totally understanding when I left him and had a child with another man, he has been by my side each and every single time that I've had difficulties or been in trouble.

I don't have a ym, not yet, but if and when I do, I'm sure he'll be thrilled and won't be shocked about the age difference as long as I'm happy.

He's the ex-man of my life :)

Well I also wasn't completely honest about how young my bf was, and told my ex he was in his early 20's. He flipped. Not because of any concern for me, but because of our daughter, who was 14 at the time. He raged about some ym coming to live in my home and afraid he'd make advances to her. I told him straight out, that just because HE couldn't find anything about me that was worth loving didn't mean every man felt that way. Gah! he pissed me off. He threatened to run a 'check' on my bf, by going to the police.... well, I guess that's when his buddies and even his own son told him he was acting irrationally.

Today, after 2 years, he seems fine with it. But then, he is remarried and has a new wife to pick on.

My ex (although HE was the one who remarried only 9 weeks after our divorce) completely HATES that I'm happy and have loved 1 ym and dated many ohters .... He always makes it an issue and has brought it up in counseling with our sons as a way to get the counselor on his side to agree that my dating ym will emotionally damage my boys. He's being a jerk about it, really. He's just jealous knowing what ym have that he doesn't (didn't) or something. Who knows...I'm just happy, so I don't care what he thinks or how he judges.:)

I can relate to the fact that my ex- really can't say anything, he told my sister-in-law awhile back that everyday of his life he regrets about our marriage not working, that I'm a good woman....So it's his loss and my deserving gain.

And for the ex here who responds angrily, I have to agree their just plane jealous........Someone here said that if the shoes were on the other foot they sure wouldn't have nothing to say about that........but hey I got news for you all........WE ARE WOMEN HEAR US ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

My ex was and still is an a** about anything and everything concerning me, my YM, and life in general.

Most of his tirades are about money. He is a very greedy individual and his life revolves around his wallet. The divorce was nasty, and he tried every underhanded seedy angle to get what he wanted. He quit paying the mortgage on my house without my knowledge and the bank forclosed on it, he refused to pay me a penny in child support, he sued me for custody of the children, you name it he did it.

The court ordered him to pay child support and alimony and every since then he has done nothing but b&*ch about having to pay me.
I am a stay at home mom, I have been for 18 yrs. He WANTED me home with the children, and the benefits of that decison, IMO have been invaluable. He never ever complains about how great the kids are or how well they have turned out, but as soon as we broke up, he was demanding that I stop staying home with the children and I get a "real" job so he wouldnt have to pay alimony. The man makes upwards of 100k a yr and the well being of his kids is not as important to him as an extra 1000 a mo in his pocket. He brought me to OH 10 yrs ago and there is no one here to help with the kids, no grandma, sister, aunt, etc, Just me, everything that needs to be done is on me and he offers zero assistance. I cant raise 4 kids well and hold down a 50 hr a week job with no help at all. It isnt possible. He will never ever change. Hence the reason why he is alone right now with no wife and family, lol.

In OH you can not co-habitate with a member of the opposite sex and still receive alimony. I need that money to continue to raise my kids while I go to school, so living with YM is not an option (sucks bad) that part Ex enjoys and revels in...he is holding me back from progressing with YM and that makes him feel powerful.
I call him "big daddy" because that is exactly how he acts. I cant wait till the day I can tell him to shove it. :-)

That all the names you could possibly imagine being slung out there concerning YM have been slung...lol

"Boy toy"
"Manchild"
"Junior"
"Cabana boy"
"Juvenile deliquent"
"Manwh*re"
"Babyface"

and my personal favorite and most used

"Fish boy" (YM works in the seafood biz, lol)

I have also been called "sick and twisted" a "pedophile" and apparently I need to seek psychiatric assistance because I have no sense of decency.

He's such a sweetie, I cant imagine why I dont miss him.

I'm really sorry that your going through this.......he's really verbally abusive, is there anything you can do about that? Report him or something? I'm a stay at home mom too, I don't know how I would handle a situation like your's.......my first husband left me with a young boy, so I had to go back to school to work to support him, but I had help with family members in watching him.......Anyway he didn't pay child support for years until he got caught, and that was like only 172:00 dollars a month big deal.........But 4 kids and a morgage that would be beyond me......I want to pray for you, I'm not sure if you believe in prayer, but I do and I will pray for your children as well......and for your ex........he really has a problem, he better wake up because his children will lose respect for their father, my ex has no contact with his son......my son wants nothing to do with him, and that is his choice only...........but that old saying, holds true (what goes around, comes around).....he better watch it.......hang in there!

My ex makes comments such as "falling for a "little boy" and "he's old enough to be your son". It's not a comfortable situation there, probably never will be. :rolleyes:

Thank you for your kind words Lorena, I really appreicate it :-) Although I am not a religious person, I am not against anyone praying for me or my children, I find it to be a very sweet and caring gesture, and I thank you.

Dealing with Ex and his shananagins has just become part of life around here, he lives in his own reality and refuses to see how the things he does effects his children. I have tried working with him and tried to come to some kind of peace, but he always reverts back to fighting with me and accusing me of things I havent done, or dont intend to do. I just try to avoid him at all costs and only speak to him when absolutely necessary.

Unfortunately for me, the court system here doesnt really work for the mother and children, they are more concerned with protecting the breadwinner and his pocketbook, so I dont have a whole heck of a lot of recourse. I got royally screwed in the divorce but didnt protest because the alternative to not settleing was having my kids dragged in to the courtroom for a custody hearing.

Filing a claim against him for contempt of court (violating restraining orders or court orders)will cost me over $150 and if they find him guilty he is only fined $50 for the first offense, so it really isnt worth my time and goodness knows I cant spare the money. So, I just try not to be bothered by him and I wait patiently for the day that I can tell him to buzz off and shove his $$ where the sun doesnt shine :-)

Um the best my ex-spud (couch potato) could come up with was "that be-bop-boy of yours". Gee, wow, gosh. so-so

lame.

:D

big time irk...........and OHLiss you don't have to be religious for God to hear and answer prayer, so I am praying, regardless of your background.:p

My ex-husband knows my YM and once we got over the divorce and started speaking as adults, he is fine about it all. He knows my feelings for my YM and realised that he didn't have a chance in hell really. He always speaks about him with respect and never refers to him as a "toyboy" or any other of the derogatory remarks that get banded about.

xxx

I'm sorry, but I think "bee-bop-boy" is really funny! :D I'd be tempted to start calling him that just for the fun of it.