Don't really know what to think??

OKay... we hit the year mark 3 months ago. WE began to talk about a marriage, purchasing a new home, selling existing homes, blending our families. This was all around christmas THIS ALL HAS STOPPED!

It has been really weird. Not that the relationship has had any issues, though he has mentioned nothing else about the future.

We had a talk the other night and I just stated that I was in a wierd place, as my lease runs out on the home I am renting.
I also asked if he was okay with "us".

He replies yes, of course. Stated that he loved me and couldn't imagine life without me. He stated that it was hard to accept how close he was to me and that at times scared him. He stated that my kids scared him. Though he couldn't imagine me not in his life.

Now we have both blended our families together over the past 9 months. Though as of late, he has not offered to do a "family" event. Which in the past was a weekly thing. He hasn't seen my children in a month. I haven't seen his daughter in a month.

So we still see each other 3x a week, sex has been incrediable. Though nothing else... he had asked around Christmas the type of ring I wanted. Now..NADA NOTHING.

I told him I needed to resign my lease and he just rolled over my statement.

Don't really know what to do or how to approach, can't turn my man brain on cause I don't have one...

Though I feel like I need to make a choice and those choices will have to benifit my family, should he chose to remove himself from that portion of my life.

Ya know it is weird.... here I sit with my kids.... 2 miles from his home. There he sits with his child......


hmmmmmmmmmm??

Nessa,

You make a good point, and I am aware that if I go this route that I could end up alone.

Though how much of this with Brain was verbal and how much was just in your actions?

I told my M that I wouldn't date him forever.

It is very hard to pull away, after over a year. Though I know that personally I need to do this. For me and my children.

Tonight I am in that weirdo funk, where I just want the madness to end. I almost could say, "hey, I love you, always will, though I can't do this anymore, not on this path."

I feel like he gets the best of my world and as of late isn't involved in the other parts.

Though I do need to pull away, my question is how do you do that?

There is no magic bullet for pulling away. You just do it. You just become less and less available and if he's going to think about it for a while and decides to wake up and pursue you, he will, and if he wants to continue to back off, he will.

It sounds like however, that if you withdraw the sex, you'll find out in a hurry what his response will be...

But meanwhile, I think his actions are speaking clearly. "I don't want to be a family anymore, but I do want to have you as a sexual partner."

You have to decide what you want, and what you need to demand, and it sounds like you already know...

I'm sorry you're going through this. No fun a'tall.

Eh, I see I was posting in the wrong thread!

Im really sorry your going through this....I wish I could give you some advice but..unfortunately...Im in a different boat, but in the same pond.

((hugs)) I honestly think instead of just pulling away, you two should have a heart-to-heart.