Helena
02-28-2005, 03:12 AM
Greetings all. I came across this site quite by accident whilst searching for information on OW/YM.
I married at 20 and we've sort of wandered along in the meantime. Had the occasional thought of moving on, but maybe some of you know what it's like - the inertia of being in a non-abusive relationship with someone who is not horrible, you've just grown apart.
And now, just to complicate matters, I've met "YM" who is the light of my life - emotional, spiritual, physically attractive and he's almost 20 years my junior.
If anyone ever told me I'd find myself in this predicament, it's arguable who would have had the bigger laugh.
I keep telling myself "Too old, too married, what could I possibly have to offer him, he will ditch me for the first younger model etc. etc.?!"
Every shred of commonsense tells me to walk away from the situation while I can, sort out the marriage issue once and for all, so I could face him with no ties elsewhere.
The less sensible part of me screams out that this man is a once-in-a-lifetime person and I would have rocks in my head to lose the chance of happiness with him.
I didn't feel this strongly about my husband when we first met. Being a fairly emotionally reserved person to start with, the intensity of feeling is equally confronting for me.
Then there are the "meet the family/friends" type of issues.
Although I think most of my friends would envy me finding such an attractive and humorous companion; my family I am not so sure of.
Then there is the troubling vision introduced to his parents and watching them do the mental arithmetic.
Suppose I could blurt out something like:
"Hey, yeah, I'm only 10 years younger than you guys!".
It's all feeling a tad Oedipal!
I haven't dared tell him how I feel - desperate to avoid making a fool of myself and embarrass him.
We were friends first, I would hate to lose that.
I married at 20 and we've sort of wandered along in the meantime. Had the occasional thought of moving on, but maybe some of you know what it's like - the inertia of being in a non-abusive relationship with someone who is not horrible, you've just grown apart.
And now, just to complicate matters, I've met "YM" who is the light of my life - emotional, spiritual, physically attractive and he's almost 20 years my junior.
If anyone ever told me I'd find myself in this predicament, it's arguable who would have had the bigger laugh.
I keep telling myself "Too old, too married, what could I possibly have to offer him, he will ditch me for the first younger model etc. etc.?!"
Every shred of commonsense tells me to walk away from the situation while I can, sort out the marriage issue once and for all, so I could face him with no ties elsewhere.
The less sensible part of me screams out that this man is a once-in-a-lifetime person and I would have rocks in my head to lose the chance of happiness with him.
I didn't feel this strongly about my husband when we first met. Being a fairly emotionally reserved person to start with, the intensity of feeling is equally confronting for me.
Then there are the "meet the family/friends" type of issues.
Although I think most of my friends would envy me finding such an attractive and humorous companion; my family I am not so sure of.
Then there is the troubling vision introduced to his parents and watching them do the mental arithmetic.
Suppose I could blurt out something like:
"Hey, yeah, I'm only 10 years younger than you guys!".
It's all feeling a tad Oedipal!
I haven't dared tell him how I feel - desperate to avoid making a fool of myself and embarrass him.
We were friends first, I would hate to lose that.