Help!!!!!

ok the guy am so totaly in love with is getting out of a horribele marrige and we have been together for six months and when ever i see him he is with his ex wife and he wont ever say i love you or even hold me . i try to think well he is just tying things up and that we wont go throught this after everything is said and done but is it wrong for me to belive that the marrige is not ending and that me and hime will never be together? I love him and i am carrying his child but he never really seems to care about it what sould i do am so confused about it please help. :(

Oh boy! This reads like a pamphlet of how NOT to start a relationship! Married man, no real divorce on the table yet, only 6 months, and you've got a bun in the oven! You're in a tight spot indeed! I'd take a good look at who this guy really is and start prioritizing what's next. Your child is due soon! Does his wife know you're PG with his kid? Seen it all before. I'd tt a lawyer and get the child support set to go! Sorry it's a rough deal here. Think of your unborn child first. Keep the faith!

Well, I suppose the obvious question to ask would be, are you sure he is getting out of his marriage?

I'm a little confused, and I don't want to jump to conclusions...so Im biting my tongue.

Every time you see his he is with his ex? Do you only like, bump into him out in public or...???

Could you....give me a little more information? I see that you are pregnant, so I have to assume you have a relationship there somewhere....and he was still married while this was going on. Do you date? Does he come to your house or...

I'd like to help you but I can't quite get a grasp on the situation....


((hugs))

I began dating a man I thought was divorced for six months. After three months of going out and feeling that he was odd to be so over his marriage so quickly, I found out that when we began dating he was only separated for two months. He lied because the first lady he asked out refused to go out with him as he was only separated and she knew that things would be very volatile in his life. One book I read said that newly separated or divorced men are emotionally crippled.

Anyway, I chose to remain his friend and he then became more honest with me about how he felt about his wife. He hated her one minute, loved her and wanted her back the next, etc. After nine months of dating, I began to love him and want a relationship. I began to think he loved, me as well. He was grateful and cared a lot, but still too deep in grieving the end of his marriage. Even bad marriages are like a death in the family. He got frightened of being serious, worried that I was a rebound relationship.

He also wanted to date others. I understood since I had been divorced longer and knew he also deserved some time alone, and some time to just see a number of other women. It was a disappointment to me because in his first desparate moments out of his marriage, he wanted to re-recreate something almost immediately. That was out of panic. After awhile sanity came back and he realized he needed time to date.

I told him, o.k. Again, I'll be your friend, but after nine months of us only dating each other, I will not be your FWB. I'll be a friend. He chose to date only me.

But he wanted to move back to his home state (800 miles away). Friends and family and better employment and away from bad memories. He thanked me for all I'd done for him and I thanked him for being a monagomous partner for the time we had together. I was really crushed, but he lived up to what he was prepared to do at the time.

After three months of being up in his home state, he realized that the feelings he had for me were real. He and I again no longer date others. So, while a lot of people thought I was nuts to keep hope alive for this situation, it has worked. But you have to realize that your guy has tons of changes to deal with. It is hard ending a marriage and while it's nice to have someone new to help, it often is temporary. And now a baby, he probably is freaking. But it can work. ONLY if he is really in the process of divorce rather than just saying he is ending a horrible marriage. That could be the classic string you along thing for men who want their cake and eat it too. If that is so, do find out about support for your child. If not, and you love him, be prepared for a rough ride that may/may not end in happiness. In my case, my gamble has worked.