confussed and no trust

I am 20 years old and my current boyfriend is 32. He has a 4 year old son and he is very secretive. He also has the babys mom that is always in our business. We just hope that maybe soon she will find someone for herself. My boyfriend has me very confused because we recently had a fight about me going out too much but I can not just stay at home. I mean I am young and he went through this phase too. I just wish he would put himself in my shoes for a change. I was working at a bar and he mad me quit even though it was real cute when he met me there. I want to know is this just a phase that is going on or is it here to stay. Will he always be on my back about growing up? I love him and I don't want to lose him!


amundson :confused:

I am 20 years old and my current boyfriend is 32. He has a 4 year old son and he is very secretive. He also has the babys mom that is always in our business. We just hope that maybe soon she will find someone for herself. My boyfriend has me very confused because we recently had a fight about me going out too much but I can not just stay at home. I mean I am young and he went through this phase too. I just wish he would put himself in my shoes for a change. I was working at a bar and he mad me quit even though it was real cute when he met me there. I want to know is this just a phase that is going on or is it here to stay. Will he always be on my back about growing up? I love him and I don't want to lose him!


amundson :confused:

It's so great that you are so very mature and he is not a jerk. :rolleyes:

I'm sorry but I don't see there's a future for you as a couple judging by what you've written. You are wanting to have the life of any other 20 year old which he has already experienced and obviously doesn't want now -seems as if he wants a more settled life. He's been there, done that, but you still have the experiences ahead of you. I would say you are looking for different things and there's no compromise to be found. If you change what you want to please him then you will despise him for it in time, and if he agrees to tolerate you going out then that will also lead to trouble.
Sorry but I just see you both wanting different things and a long term relationship can't be founded on that.
Goodluck to both ofyou.

My wife and I have gone through this phase too. She and I have our own circles of people we hang out with...if the relationship is to work, then I would suggest you and your boyfriend need to sit down and discuss the whole matter. Let him know that you need a social life, too - but set boundaries so there is no appearance of cheating or other relationship-busters.

If he starts coming on like a control freak, then it is time to move on. Regardless of age difference, abusive/oppressive relationships are unhealthy.

One description here amundson, "CONTROL FREAK"!! Forgedaboudid! Ol Slim knows you're young and easily controlled. Making you quit your job should've told you right there. GET OUT NOW!

I am helping her you BOLLOCKS!! You can't see this guy is running her life for her already? How would you (Amina) react to a guy making you quit your job & keep you from going out with your friends? Yeesh! Not too obvious! wvdreamer seems to see where this type of deal is headed! STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT! :eek: Dump the turd!