cocodie
04-06-2005, 05:14 AM
Recently I showed him that I wouldn't put up with his unwillingness to communicate or put effort into us. He has improved since then in many ways.
I found out that my ym was feeling anxious for last couple of months because he felt under pressure to decide whether to commit to a marriage or not. He is 26 and I am 33. We've been seing eachother 4 or 5 times a week for last year and a half.
I did not pressure him to decide on marriage for any time soon but I did stress that if he ever felt for certain that he doesn't want to commit to a long term, we should probably move on with our lives. He has shown concerns about me wasting my child bearing years. ( Although I have thought about marrying him and having a child together - I am not definately sure about this )
I have assured him that he doesn't need to make a decision anytime soon. We would probably need to try living together first.
He has honestly told me that he feels his heart should feel something else if we were meant to be together forever. He thinks there are a few compatibility issues like I am into creative side of life and he is not. He also feels he needs his space when we see eachother too much. This concerns him as a married couple we would have to spend everyday together!
What bothers me is what he had said about how his heart feels. Should his heart know after 1 1/2 whehter he wants to commit or not? Is fear of commitment felt by people who actually love their partner? or is it not really love when the fear is there..
He tells me he loves me and want to be friends for life. Thinks I am more than good enough for him and is amazed at my achievements and the way I am.
My heart feels broken but wants to be patient and be giving but my head and my friends say to leave the relationship. Any advice on how I could justify staying in the relationship? Did you ever have to wait for the YM to fall madly in love with you? Was it worth waiting?
I want to try everything possible so that I won't regret it in the future.
Your thoughts will be appreciated.
I found out that my ym was feeling anxious for last couple of months because he felt under pressure to decide whether to commit to a marriage or not. He is 26 and I am 33. We've been seing eachother 4 or 5 times a week for last year and a half.
I did not pressure him to decide on marriage for any time soon but I did stress that if he ever felt for certain that he doesn't want to commit to a long term, we should probably move on with our lives. He has shown concerns about me wasting my child bearing years. ( Although I have thought about marrying him and having a child together - I am not definately sure about this )
I have assured him that he doesn't need to make a decision anytime soon. We would probably need to try living together first.
He has honestly told me that he feels his heart should feel something else if we were meant to be together forever. He thinks there are a few compatibility issues like I am into creative side of life and he is not. He also feels he needs his space when we see eachother too much. This concerns him as a married couple we would have to spend everyday together!
What bothers me is what he had said about how his heart feels. Should his heart know after 1 1/2 whehter he wants to commit or not? Is fear of commitment felt by people who actually love their partner? or is it not really love when the fear is there..
He tells me he loves me and want to be friends for life. Thinks I am more than good enough for him and is amazed at my achievements and the way I am.
My heart feels broken but wants to be patient and be giving but my head and my friends say to leave the relationship. Any advice on how I could justify staying in the relationship? Did you ever have to wait for the YM to fall madly in love with you? Was it worth waiting?
I want to try everything possible so that I won't regret it in the future.
Your thoughts will be appreciated.