Marriage....so soon?

I've been seriously dating my OG for almost six months now, we've been friends for almost a year now. It's funny how when you date somebody times just flies. Well, about 2 months ago he asked me to marry him and I did accept his proposal. We'll be jumping the broom in a couple of weeks and I'm actually excited to be getting married. Now, this is surprising to me because I never really wanted to be married...ever. But, I guess when you know something is right...you just go for it. However, we're getting married in secret...only person that will know is my sister and bro-in-law (well his family knows....they have welcomed me with open arms).

Has anybody ever experienced this situation before? Has anybody ever married somebody after knowing them less than a year, if so how has it worked out? Curious....

Nu :)

Yep... twice... worked out horribly both times. BUT, don't let that stop you! :eek:

My folks (who are married 43 years this year!) got engaged when they'd known eachother two weeks and got married six weeks later! And they are still happy together.

Congratulations, NuGyrl! I'm happy for you. You've got a lot going for you. But, don't try to talk yourself out of it based on statistics or what other people think. Follow your heart and believe in it. You can't know what the future brings until you walk into it...

;)
~phosphorescent

Congrads on the Marriage... but like Cherub I don't understand the secrecy thing.. Why not tell your family ... your going to marry this man show him off.... Your parents don't control you .. only you do..... WHy go into a marriage with such secrecy?

To answer Merlove and Cher question about the secrecy.....if you have read earlier posts I have made, my parents....particularly my mother does not approve of the relationship. She has been a driving force to end our relationship. I've told her that I'm going to marry my man and she knows that we are going to live together when we move to Michigan. She also knows that I will not "shack up" with any man. So she knows that I will be married, she just doesn't know when. My mother is still in denial and hopes that this is a passing phase. My mother wants me to live her "dreams" and this clearly isn't her dream.

I've lived her school dreams, college dreams, and even her life dreams as a young adult. Unfortunately, the only way to get from under my mother's grab is to completely seperate from her (she strongly disapproved of my sisters relationship and marriage that is almost broke her and her husband up....a couple of times). The difference between my sister and me, is that I will not put up with her negativity...so, once I do "break the news" I am prepared to loose my mother. She has already told me that if I continue to date him...then I will no longer be her daughter (b/c I have failed her expectations). My sister and bro-in-law will be there so some of my family will be there and for me thats enough (I rather have people who are happy for me and leave the negative energy at the door).

Mer you said it best "only you control you" and it took me awhile to figure that out b/c I never done anything that my parent disapproved of. I will be there for my mother if and when she decides to come around, but I'm at the point where it's time to live life for me....not to please her.

Skibunny....I thought the same way at first and I'm not a big wedding person either, I think its just a show if you ask me. That is why it's only going to be about 10 people there when we wed (good to have a Pastor in the family :) ). But, we both knew that we wanted to marry and saw no difference in doing it now or two years from now after I get my MA. Fos said it best "You can't know what the future brings until you walk into it... " and just like anything I do I'm going into it with my eyes wide open and seeing where it take me.

Thanks for the comments and support....this board has been very helpful to me getting over my fears of an AGR.

Nu

Skibunny....I hope my comment did not come off negatively towards you. If it did...I'm sorry and do apologize. I was just simply stating why we're ready to jump the broom. What works for some might not work for others. I'm only 23 as well and next couple of years are going to be tight financially because I will be in school full time and he will be the sole source of income. It's always good to have a plan (I never like to work without one) and we certainly do have one. Life happens and things change when you least expect it and so far I'm enjoying the ride... :cool:

Nu

I think you're pretty cool, so I'd marry ya too!! :p ;) GOOD LUCK!

This analogy is intended lightheartedly:

... we all live our lives filled with dreams and aspirations, then a funny thing happens. LIFE.

Personally, I like that it works that way.

It's like doing a sculpture... you dream up an idea, you go out and get all the supplies you think you'll need, you get some tools and you get ready to CREATE this masterpiece.

Then, while you're working, you find out that the materials have a say in what's being created... the tools have a say, too... Someone comes in, distracts you and knocks over the paint can and you lose track of the nails you needed.

You can look at how the materials change the DREAM with distress or frustration... you can get MAD at your friend for distracting you, then spilling your paint... you can FREAK OUT that your tool doesn't DO what you WANT it to.

But in the end, you have a masterpiece that probably only vaguely resembles what your original intent was in the first place.

9 out of 10 times, I like the end result better than the original concept. Even if I stupidly yelled at my friend, or have to stare down at some yucky scabs on my fingers.

Just an analogy... ;)

NuGyrl, I hope your wedding is everything you want it to be and leads into the beginning of a joyous life with your beloved.

~phos

Thanks for the analogy Fos....it's very fitting to life and I can see why you like it.

Dabollocks....your cool and I know you keep your mate laughing. Plus in my book, i'd marry you too if I wasn't already taken....lol

Nu :cool: