Need a bit of support

Hello eveyone. I've been reading the forums for a while, so I decided to finally join. Lately i've been having a few emotional problems, they have been relationship because techincally we're not in a relationship yet, but I need some support.

This is my story taken from my Xanga journal:

You know, in every man's life there is a time where he wants to feel loved, to feel needed, to feel wanted. There's a love that parents, family and friends just can't give and lately i've been needing it badly. Last night was that night - here's my story...

Oh my God....i'm speechless. Last night was no doubt the greatest night in all my years on this Earth. But WHY did it have to end. I can not explain how happy I was. I have NEVER been that happy and content...NEVER.

Im not going to say the whole story waaayy too long. But the main things I remember are sitting on the swing set under the starry sky, with my arm wrapped softly around her waist and her hand on mine while our heads rested on each other. I could smell her freshly washed hair while time stood still. I wanted to tell her...I had words to say, but it wasn't the time.

Later than night we were watching the UFC fight, and she fell asleep beside me. She moved over to the other couch later as that was where she had slept the night before. I wanted to stay all up night and stare at her innocent face, but my cousin wouldn't take his *** to bed. I turned it in with the intent to wake up at 5 and do as had planned. I woke shortly before 5, and turned off my cell phone alarm I had set prior to lying down.

I made my way to the living room to find the TV still on, but she was the only one there. I stared at her for what seemed like days. I slowly moved my hand over and began to brush her forehead with my fingertips, moving away the stray hair from the scrunchie she had. I wish that moment had never ended. My intention was never to wake her, but unfortunately she did just that. She reached up and felt my hand first, then looked over to me. "Hello beautiful" I said. She smiled and went back to sleep. At that point the floor needed to be cleaned because I instantly turned to butter. I continued slowly caressing her face for 2 hours or more.

She finally woke up along with her sister and my little cousin. A bit later we were sitting on the couch watchin some Paid Programming and she said "That felt good last night, thanks". I almost cried thinking that it would never happen again the way my cousin is...

I can only hope that I get the chance to have that feeling again. I had not a care in the world, and nothing could ruin it...except them going home. We took them home after church and they sang in the back of the truck on the way. I put my ear towards the rear of the extended cab and she turned to intentionally sing for me. Heaven needs to check it's staff because I think they're missing an angel.

I've been in an emotional state where I need to see her again. They only come over to my side of town on the weekends and I havent really been introduced to her mom (she still lives with her) so I don't know if i'd be able to go pick her up myself.

I tried to get together this weekend but they already had something planned where I won't be able to see them. There's only a 9 year age difference between us.

Is this feeling natural where I HAVE to see her and she's all I think about?

It's entirely natural to have those feelings! And, sooo wonderful!! Agonizing in an oh-so-sweet way, to boot! Yummy!!


Needs clarification though, more history. :confused: ... there's an issue with 'the cousin'?

You say there's a 9 yr. gap. No biggy!.... or... maybe it might be for you, or her?

The lady you're trying to see... she's a family friend...what...?

You give a glimpse of what she may be feeling/saying... how long/well do you, or have you, know/known her?

BTW... you're statement: "Heaven needs to check it's staff because I think they're missing an angel." Let's take a poll, right? Who could ever hear THAT opinion too many times, ladies??? :eek:

Findherfindherfindher, and tellhertellhertellher! Communication is KEY!

That's all I can contribute until I (we) have more to go on. :(

Agonizing yes, wonderful no.

She and her sister are related to my cousin somehow. I don't think he liked the idea of them hanging all over me, but I don't know why. He kept giving me an odd look (his wife explained that as his back was hurting).

The 9 year age gap is not a problem for me, and she hasn't expressed any concern either. I'm not vary familiar with her family as I said so i'm not sure of their stand on this.

Unfortunately that was the first day I had actually spent time with her. I had seen her before at a family function but there was no words exchanged. For me, it was love at first sight, and sitting on the swing when she put my arm around her wasn't a "leave me alone".

The statements I make (such as the angel), I seem to be making all the time, but I can't get them out when I need to. I know communication is key but i'm VERY shy when it comes to talking to females. I would LOVE to tell her...if I could ever get to see her again. It's only been 5 days, can I count that as eternity yet?

One thing she said stands all from all the others. We're both still pretty young. She asked what I did and I told her I was a paramedic. She's still uncertain about her career preference, and I asked her what she wanted to do. It turns out she wanted to be a paramedic as well. I asked her why and her reply was "Because you're one."

I wanted to rip my heart out and give it to her right there.

Wow,you're so sweet.You need to just tell her how you feel,sounds to me like she may feel the same way.As sweet as you are,she'd be crazy not to.Call her up,and take her out.

I hate that all this happened within 24 hours and I think that's why i'm so anxious to be with her again. I don't know if my cousin trusts me to take them out myself (he can be a butt sometimes).

I run scenarios over and over in my head of ways to get them over and for us to be alone, where I can honestly tell her how I feel. I just don't want to scare her off so soon.

Since you're shy, and you really do have a knack for poetic phrasing, how about writing her a letter? It's private, it's terribly romantic, and she can read it over, and over. I know I would! (*snort* If I got a letter like that, I'd frame the damn thing...lol)

What do you think?

EDIT: I've removed my poem. Thanks anyway.

There was a young fellow named Menzies,
Whose kissing sent girls into frenzies,
But a virgin one night
Crossed her legs in a fright,
And fractured his bi-focal lenses.
:eek: :D :p

There was a young fellow named Menzies,
Whose kissing sent girls into frenzies,
But a virgin one night
Crossed her legs in a fright,
And fractured his bi-focal lenses.
:eek: :D :p


LOL....Too funny

Thanks for the hijack.

Poem? What poem?? I noticed that you had edited your post this evening... :confused: So I'm guessing that you had written one, and posted it, and were looking for feedback?

Right...I can kinda piece together what may have happened... (DaBollucks :mad: )

Shoot.

Just ignore them, post it back..... plz? :o

Please post it again....and what are your ages?

From what I've read so far, you have a heart of gold and your words just let it shine!!! Please post your poem again....

And go with what your heart tells you to do. :)

I think the writing is a great idea.