what to do

Well here goes, I am 52 and she is 32 with a 12 year old daughter. When I first met her she just bought this there framily house that was runned down and in need of repair. I didn't intend to be the handyman/lover but has it turns out I am great with repair and own all tools and expertiese to completly renevite the house. For the past 4 years this is what I have been doing. I have spend countless amounts of my own money and times. Things have changed and she has mixed feelings about me. She says she love me but not the same way as when we met. We have had our share of problems with her daughter. My YW(young woman) is espanic and when we met her english was not that great. I forced her to watch american movies and learn english, she is much better. On the other hand her daughter is not doing well in school. Her mother let her do any thing she want encluding going to ben at what time she cares to. I have talked with her about her school grades but she doesn't seem to care. I tried to help her understand that being older has it own share of issues, and she seem not to want to understand my point of view. I love this house even though it started out to be hers. Should I just leave and start over or fight to hang on to the only family I have and love. I have never cheated on her and I never will but I feel she wants to be on now that her house is fixed up.

Hurt and confused

Dang...sounds like she wants to break up with you and unfortunately if her name is on the mortgage, its her house. I dont know that she'd wait 4 years to dump you if all she wanted was a handy man---maybe thats just hurt/bitterness talking.....
Not sure how you could fight to save your relationship beyond saying you love her and want to be with her. Ultimately if she decides its over though, its over! :confused:

I think you are right, it does hurt and for me the truth hurts even more. Thanks, I truley love her and if this is her wish then I'll do what she want. I'ts hard and I can't help but feel like crying and turn inward. I know I'm older and should have learned that love can kill you inside once it is no longer there. She is a good woman and she has every right to do what best for her. I just feel so lost and think it time to just end my life. I don't think I can go on any longer. I am worn out

Rich stop!!
Dont say that you want to end your life. The end of the relationship feels horrible and you are really hurting; but you have to keep it in perspective.
And I disagree that just because youre older you shouldve learned your lesson long ago about love or whatever....we are never too old to love!
Have you talked to her??

Hey Rich....

Sorry to hear that you are going through a lot of stress, heartache, and pain. The situation in itself does look bad and I'm at a lost on how it can be repaired. I will not fly off the handle and say that she was using you because I'm pretty sure that is not the case and ultimately you know your YW better than we do. However, with that being said, from an outsiders perspective it seems that for her the relationship has run its course. I don't know if she wants something better (whether it is age, money, social status, etc.), but you said it best "if that is what she wants" don't try to force the situation. I do agree with raveglow that all you can do at this point is tell her how you feel and see what happens. If it doesn't go the way you want, I guess chalk it up as a loss and start the process of mending a broken heart.

We all fall for the people looking at them through rose colored glasses. However, when their true self comes out it may be hard to see at first, but we eventually do. Don't let this potential loss of love, make you lose sight of how beautiful love can be. Just because you are older does not mean your time has run out for love, it will happen and when it does it will be right. Hope things work out for you and swing to your favor. :(

Nu

hi Larry,

I am sorry that you feel so much pain and going through so much suffering. It seems like the relationship is over but I agree with ravengeglow and NuGyrl to try to speak to your YM first. If she feels like quitting then you have to leave her the space, but maybe it's just her moment of confusion.

You may feel like you've been used by your YW for refurbishing the house but 4 years is a long way. i don't think she would stay with a person for so long if there is no emotion of love/affection.

No matter the age you are, it's never too late to start anew. It feels bad when we lose a loving-relationship and maybe you feel worse because you mentioned that they are your only family. But there many people out there with whom you can build another relationship and friendship, no matter the age.
Please keep us posting!

Wow.. First I have to say.. Ending your life will not solve anything... Unfortunatly Broken Hearts aren't uncommon... My boyfriend of 7 years Died and The day I almost killed myself... Obviously I DIDN"T...Was the luckiest decisions I made... I was going to turn my car into a tree but decided not to at the last minute... If I didn't Then I wouldn't be married and raising my beautiful son.....

Unfortunatly things happen andthings we can't control... All you can do is talk to her tell her how you feel.. and see what happens... if it doesn't work then you MOVE ON... Your life is way to important to throw away over one person!

Thanks for everyone support. This was a very long weekend for me. I was so hurt and confused, I went for a long drive with my Dog. We must have driven for hours. So many things went through my head and I just felt so lost. It true, giving ones life just for the sake of love, I must have been feeling so overwelmed with pitty, sorry, won't happen again. I just get so cought in emotion that I just stop carring. Thanks for just giving me some understanding about how I felt. Things haven't changed and when I got back we didn't speak. I just went into my office and stayed Sunday night till this morning. So tired but I will try and speak with her soon.

Larry