Smitten with Professor

Hey everyone. I am so glad I found this place. :) So let me share my story with you and hopefully I will be able to get some input.

Alright, it all began in my 3rd year Literature Class. Oye oye oye, so it's not just the age gap, it's the fact that he is(was) my Professor. I just completely admire this man and I would have never thought I would develop feelings beyond admiration (or is there always a bit of attraction if you admire someone of the opposite sex?), and beyond just a crush.

But before I get into more analysis of why I think I really like this man, I'll just give you guys some background. It started out with an email simply telling him how his class reconfirmed that this is what I love. I had gotten a bit bored by the dryness of my other classes and began questioning if I am in the right place. But this Professor is so passionate and in love with what he does, and was exactly what I needed.

Now, I know that this sort of thing happens. Students develop crushes on their Profs. They make them out to be this person they are not. But, I know this Professor on a more personal level than just your ordinary "Professor-Student" relationship.

Firstly, the works we were studying really deeply touched me and throughout the semester we were emailing each other. Since I am a little on the shy side (when it comes to speaking in class), we proceded with our email discussions. And as they went on, I felt myself opening up more and more about how exactly the works touched me. They weren't *too* personal, but not solely academic either. He didn't seem to object. But yeah there was a lot of talk about passion, longing, home, loneliness ... just life in general.

By half way through the semester, I realized - oh my goodness, I am having some feelings for this man, i wasn't simply thinking "wow, he is an admirable man". Since a lot of the class was open discussions, you really get to know someone's personality and views through their opinions. By the way, I realize I don't *really* know this man, but I know enough to have developed romantic feelings towards him. He is just so smart, intelligent, funny and UNDERSTANDING.

I feel like he actually understands what I am talking about. I am only 21 and he must be around 50 I think. But yeah, I have had *a lot* of life experience. E.g. Moving because of war, from country to country, then from continent to continent. And plenty of other things, which I won't go into because this is getting really long as is hehe :) So I feel like a lot of my peers don't understand me. I can't fully connect with them somehow. But I felt like my Professor understands. That, I think, was what mostly made me have feelings for him.

Plus not to mention his is absolutely hillarious, charismatic, nice and obviously intelligent.

Also somewhere mid-way through the semester I got to see him outside of the classroom because he invited me to dinner (along with another student) with him and one of the writers who had come in to speak with us. We all had so much fun. So much laughing. Time went by like crazy. It was rather informal.

But yeah so by the end of the semester some things that happened in the classroom (nothing to do with him and me) prompted me to email him and tell him how awesome I think he is. I did not mention anything about feelings. But he invited me to go for coffee once the semester is over. Well, the semester is over so this is going to happen soon......continued...

......

Also, I am doing very well in his class. The writer we had dinner with is from my country and for my last project I wrote a poetry collection which followed the themes/structure of this poet. I actually made it look like a real, published book with family photographs in there. I was so excited to do this project (I want to be a published writer some day). My prof. was *very* impressed with my work.

So yeah, I don't know if he is just interested in having coffee with me, because I am a good student and he is impressed with my assignments. And because he can see I am passionate about literature, like he is. Or if there is something more. And not to brag or anything, but for some strange reason guys seem to be attracted to me. But I don't know, before I saw this forum, I always thought well he may think I'm "cute" but in the way that I think a 10 year old boy is cute. Ahhhh!!! I don't know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and he is sort of the "arty" type, and from our discussions, he seems to be quite open minded so he may be more open minded about age gaps.

This has never happened to me before. I can't believe I have feelings for someone 30 years older than me. *sigh*. I don't know about a relationship but I know I would want to just you know, have a kiss and perhaps leave it with that. But I don't know if I could?

I am sort of the "arty" type too (as you may have guessed, hehe) so I am all about going with the intense feelings and the transformative power they have. So for now I am just really wondering whether I am being so silly in thinking that this man may possibly have romantic feelings towards me.

Ahhh!!! I don't know. I don't even know what I'm asking of you guys but just anything would help!! :)

Oh and by the way, I would not want to do anything that could harm his career. And in case anyone is wondering, he is not married; he is divorced.

Oh and thanks for reading this *Huge* post, hehe ;)

Oh and just thought I would mention that I have always felt more myself when hanging around older people. Believe it or not, when I was 9, my best friend was 17. I may be 21, but I certainly feel like life has made me much older than that. In certain aspects of course - because I'll always be a big kid at heart. :)

But, I just don't know whether I am being silly in considering that this man may feel attracted to me. I mean, physically yeah - perhaps he could be, but I mean mentally/spiritually, like I am to him.

Goodness. The heart really has its own laws.

I like him so much.

hello Welcome to Ageless Love!

Never I was invited for coffee by a guy (no matter the age), for the solely reason of discussion. There must something from his side as well. You're both over 18, and since he's not teaching you anymore, then you are not violating any rules.
Getting to know him is the only way that helps you understand whether you can really develop a loving serious relationship or whether it's just infatuation.

btw love knows no age gaps, no class differences, no races, no religions and different customs. Love is for everyone, for those who are ready to give it and receive it.
Let us know how was the coffee-date!

amandalee

Hi amandalee.

Thank you for the welcome and for replying. :)

I don't know. I hope you are right about there being something from his side as well. *sigh* I will definitely let you know how things evolve.

I just don't know how a 50 year old (he looks younger to me but from our discussions I figured out he must be around 50) would go about hinting to a 21 year old that he is interested. Maybe some older males can chip in here and fill me in. :)

But yeah I totally agree with you that love knows no age. I have always thought this. A friend of mine dated a guy 20 years older than her and I completely supported it. While I supported it though, I never thought it was something that could happen to me. And now I can't stop thinking about him.

Hi and welcome.... I do hpe you get the advice you are needing right now.... I do say their is nothing wrong if you both love each other.. I met my husband at work who is 17 years my senior.. however I did quit there ... My only suggestion is that if you do start a relationship with him it may be worth it to change classes ... That way it won't conflict with you guys personally or professionaly :)

Thanks MerAlove23 and sheila4pd.

MerAlove23, yeah - I don't think I'd ever get into a relationship while he is still my Professor. Luckily, the class ended a couple weeks ago. And while it is possible that I'd be interested in taking another one of his classes, they are not in my requirements to graduate. And well, if I have to pick between taking one of his classes again or getting to know him better - heck, I don't have to think twice about my choice! ;)

sheila4pd - I'll take your .advice and just let him lead. And have patience, even though it's hard. I hope he is aware that I like him. But yeah, I see the delicacy of this situation and I definitely don't want to do/say something too obvious and scare him away.

I can see how it could have happened to him before that a student showed interest in him, but I don't know if he has ever had interest in another student before. Maybe if he hasn't, that would be what would scare him the most? I don't know.

I'll just see how the coffee meeting goes and take it from there. :)

Thanks for the input. :)

One way to tell if a much older man is at least somewhat interested, is the length of and the level of conversation. If he seems to carry a conversation a bit longer than you would normally expect, this could be a sign that he enjoys your company and there could be a certain level of interest beyond typical studen/teacher. But typically, he will not be as forward in asking you on a date as would someone closer to your own age. If you are interested in seing him socially, you will need to set the conditions that will provide a comfort level for him. In other words, when you meet for coffee and if you want to see him again, you might say something like, I really enjoyed our visit and I hope we can do this again sometime -- soon!

Then, give him your contact information and add the words "I hope to hear from you soon" or something direct like that. But do not propose a specific date or ask him out. Just let him know that it is o.k. to call and you hope that he does. And leave it there. If he suggest that it would be better if you call him, my advice would be to smile and say something like, ladies don't call gentelman. But I do hope that you will call.

This will give him the invitation and open door that he needs to feel comfortable about contacting you -- if he wants to that is. If you don't hear from him. Don't call. You might shoot him a short e-mail in a couple of weeks if your don't hear from him.

Again, you want him to feel completely confortable calling you and you don't want him to be second-guessing himself and the correctness of the situation. If and when he does call, make it clear to him that you are very glad he called and you had ben thinking about him. This will re-enforce the implied permission you gave him to call and once he is personally comfortable with communicating with you, it should become second nature for both of you.

However, if you get impatient and call him first and/or leave a bunch of messages, he will probably get nervious about your age and maturity level and that will be the end of it. You want to give him permission to call and then leave the rest up to him. After-all, what's the point of a lop-sided level of interest? If he's not interested, then that is that. (If he should insist that you call him, this may be a sign that he wants to control the dynamic of any potential relationship and he may be taking the old lie-back and let her come to me attitude.)

Tread carefully here,. Also, ask yourself what it is that you are expecting from a relationship with your 50 year old professor. If you think that you are the first young co-ed that he's had coffee with, you're not being realistic. Just take one step at a time and see where it goes.

Hey Drifter,

thanks for such a thorough response :)

I am definitely not so smitten to not see that he has probably gone out for coffee with students before. That's another thing too. He is one of those Profs who really really cares about his students and impacting them. So he would be one of those Profs who would really enjoy having coffee with a student just for the sake of conversation.

I would never be pushy and do something like call him or email him a few times asking when we'll meet next. When he proposed we have coffee after the semester is over, I patiently waited for him to bring it up again. I didn't email him with something like, "So, the semester is over, when would you be free to have that coffee?" I'd never have done that.

I don't know about giving him my number though. It seems a little too much and way too obvious. I really like the relationship we have now and I don't want to ruin that. He has my email address (obviously) so I think that should do it for now.

As far as those signals you mentioned that he may like me. Well, unfortunately I only see him in the classroom so that opportunity doesn't arise. But on the dinner we went too he seemed like he enjoyed my presence. And in an email to me after the dinner, he said "So glad you could be there." But that doesn't mean anything. I mean he's a professor, so he's showing appreciation for his students and that he cares.

Oh and for the coffee date he said "I would really enjoy..." and then later he said "I would still very much enjoy to have coffee with you" Okay, I am over analyzing and that's never good because whenever people do that, they find something to cling on to that will feed their hopes and what they *want* the other person to feel/think about them.

Besides, he's my professor so for that reason even if he felt anything towards me, he could not have hinted it because it's just not the professional thing to do. And I can see he really does his best to be the best professor he can be.

I meant to say ..

Unfortunately I only *saw* (not see) him in the classroom so the opportunity for longer conversation in person *didn't* arise.

Except at the dinner of course (which was soooo much fun). But as I said, we were emailing each other throughout the semester.

Hello TheRomantic,

My OM and I call it Professor Lust.

My OM is a cardiologist and a professor of structural biology He has an MD PhD). I am a chemistry graduate student at another academic institution down the road from his. I never took a class with him or anything like that. We actually met at a scientific symposium (he is 54, I am 30). It turned out that he assumed I was a new prof when he first saw me. He got my contact info from a mutual colleague and we emailed for a while before meeting. When he realized I was still a student, he got a little nervous about having a relationship with me and the truth is, we are still working on all of that. (I was nervous too, but you can read all about that in my other posts.) I have to tell you, that while I have never had a class with him, I have total Professor Lust. (I wanted to share this story because he coined the phrase and I think it is hilarious.)

My undergraduate mentor is a fantastic guy. I had a small case of Professor Lust for him (he was only 10 years older than me), but he was married, so I never did anything about it. Irrespective of how I felt, we became very close. I worked in his lab and he taught me all the practical chemistry I needed to know for grad school. He inspired me in ways no one else ever had. He is still one of my best friends and we chat weekly. There have been a lot of times in grad school that were difficult and his support helped me get me through it. (His stint in grad school was no walk in the park, so he could relate to me. ) I am glad that we never acted on any impulses, because I know he wouldn't be a part of my life now.

Take it slow with this professor of yours. It sounds to me like he really inspires you and that you have some sort of connection. Even if this situation doesn't result in romance, enjoy the bond that you have, and utilize his experiences to guide you.

Your situation is delicate. Even if you are not currently one of his students, its likely that the university has policies against dating students. You don't want him to lose his job, especially if he cares about students. He is a rarity.

I am really interested in how your coffee date turns out. Good luck with your Professor Lust and keep us posted!

Hey beachgeek,


Professor Lust eh? Hehe Nice term. ;)
Thanks for sharing your stories. I enjoyed reading them. Especially because I can definitely relate. :)

I really think I'm falling for this guy. And I don't know what to do. I feel like we both know there is something there, but we're both just very careful not to ruin what we have. For some reason I definitely think that he knows I am attracted to him. And I feel he is attracted to me as well. You know how you can just feel the sparks in the air when you're standing beside that person? Well, I definitely feel like something is there. Of course that doesn't mean that he would ever act on this. It wasn't until maybe two weeks ago or so that I actually started considering getting into a relationship with him, should the opportunity ever arise.

But yeah as you said, regardless of whether some day down the road anything romantic develops, I am beyond grateful that I crossed paths with this man. Even *if* something romantic should develop, it would be quite some time from now.

And you are sooo right, he completely inspires me. I don't think anyone has ever inspired me like he has. And I think he is slightly intrigued with me as well.

I will keep you posted about the coffee meeting. Right now we are trying to figure out a time that works for both of us.

Again, thanks for sharing the stories and your thoughts. :)

Hey TheRomantic,

I am glad that you enjoyed my stories. I know they were a little disjointed, but I wanted to give you a little background...

I totally know what you mean about the sparks, and I would imagine there probably is a mutual attraction between the two of you. Enjoy it and take it slow. Its just so magical being attracted to and attractive to someone who inspires you intellectually.

Please just keep in mind that if this does develop into something romantic that you will probably have a couple of issues to deal with, and you need to be delicate with them if you want to keep your professor. Academics are often not kind to eachother (because they are often hyper competitive with eachother). He may feel pressure from his peers about not dating a student. Listen to his fears and reassure him. Your relationship will likely be a secret until you graduate.

Then again, who knows. Your situation may be entirely different, but I am just telling you what I have seen. As I said, my OM profs at the university down the road from mine, and I am a graduate student. We are still in the early stages of our relationship, and he does have concerns about how our AG relationship is going to be perceived by his peers. He is an amazing doctor and scientist, and he doesn't want his hard work and integrity to be devalued by his peers because he is dating a much younger, blonde woman. While the idealistic side of me screams at this and finds it preposterous, I realize that in the real world, science and hard work do not stand on their own. Even in academia where everything is supposedly about the selfless pursuit of knowledge, people are vain and judgemental. He can tell everyone that I almost have my Ph.D. but it just doesn't make up for the fact that I am much younger and look nothing like the other chemists. People are going to talk. (I have seen this happen to other people.) The thing is, I understand the problem and I reassure him that its ok. I don't have to be with him all the time and I know that work is work. If our relationship becomes serious, his peers will have to accept it, and I think most of them will. But for now we are keeping the pace pretty slow and enjoying what we have. Besides, I am writing my dissertaion and I don't have time to be standing around at academic receptions anyhow!

Have fun. Keep it slow. And, if you really want to impress him and keep him interested, study hard and get good grades!






He may also be thinking about you and exploring some kind of relationship with you.

Hey Drifter,

thanks for such a thorough response :)

I am definitely not so smitten to not see that he has probably gone out for coffee with students before. That's another thing too. He is one of those Profs who really really cares about his students and impacting them. So he would be one of those Profs who would really enjoy having coffee with a student just for the sake of conversation.

I would never be pushy and do something like call him or email him a few times asking when we'll meet next. When he proposed we have coffee after the semester is over, I patiently waited for him to bring it up again. I didn't email him with something like, "So, the semester is over, when would you be free to have that coffee?" I'd never have done that.

I don't know about giving him my number though. It seems a little too much and way too obvious. I really like the relationship we have now and I don't want to ruin that. He has my email address (obviously) so I think that should do it for now.

As far as those signals you mentioned that he may like me. Well, unfortunately I only see him in the classroom so that opportunity doesn't arise. But on the dinner we went too he seemed like he enjoyed my presence. And in an email to me after the dinner, he said "So glad you could be there." But that doesn't mean anything. I mean he's a professor, so he's showing appreciation for his students and that he cares.

Oh and for the coffee date he said "I would really enjoy..." and then later he said "I would still very much enjoy to have coffee with you" Okay, I am over analyzing and that's never good because whenever people do that, they find something to cling on to that will feed their hopes and what they *want* the other person to feel/think about them.

Besides, he's my professor so for that reason even if he felt anything towards me, he could not have hinted it because it's just not the professional thing to do. And I can see he really does his best to be the best professor he can be.

Well . . . what exactly did you need advice on? You seem to have had everything figured out already.

My OM and I call it Professor Lust.




Excellent term, BG. The close proximity and similar interests that students often share with their professors seem to be catalysts, indeed.

I was a returning student in college (meaning that I was 30 when I started at my alma mater and close in age to many of my professors). I developed crushes (i.e., Professor Lust) for two of my professors, and wound up seeing one of them (off and on) for about 6 months after I graduated. There was an uncommunicated attraction while I was still in school but we didn't pursue it until after graduation.

In retrospect, especially after I got to know him outside the classroom, I wouldn't be surprised if he had seen other former students over the years.

I also knew a few fellow students that were bouncing around with professors while they were still students. I still have friends who are in grad school who profess having crushes on their professors and/or advisors.

Romantic, just take it slow and see how it goes. Please don't do anything that could create any difficulty in your future selection or completion of courses.

Hope your coffee 'date' goes well. If it is meant to be, it will flow.

Personally speaking, I am in a relationship with an older man. I am 23, he is 48. When I am with him, I am not aware of an age difference. We get along great and are compatable in almost everything so far. The only negativething about the relationship is when we are with his friends. I really feel the age difference then because we are suddenly in a differnt environment. His friends don't try to make me feel uncomfortable, I just do. Many of their converstaions are about things I can't relate too or just don't care about.

So my advice to you is too proceed with caution, if things work out between you, wonderful. Don't get discouraged if at times you feel a little out of place. You won't always be by yourselves.

Go with the flow
Debbie

WOW!
This is my first post - despite the fact I've been a regular reader of these boards for ages!
Thank you so much for posting your 'problem' Romantic - I have been in a really similar situation for the past year. You seem to be quite clued up on the whole situation, but thought I would share my own experience, sinice reading yours has been soooo nice for me to realise I'm not the only person to become not just infactuated with a lecturer, but for it to become a mutual attraction!

Short version of very long story is that I have always admired a particular lecturer (I'm a lit student as well!) - and in my 3rd year I got into one of his weekly classes. Same idea as yours, group discussions, admiration only became stronger and we started emailling - I initiated, firstly about class problems I was having, but then he instigated the conversations to be more personal - we chatted about home lives, holidays - the usual.
We started meeting for coffee in the summer after class was over and by then it was clear to me I was falling for him big style - there was definately "something" between us, despite the age gap and the professional relationship.
Around Christmas time I couldn't keep it in any longer and confessed to him that I really liked him, beyond any friendship we had developed.
He didn't respond becuase of his position, but was so flattered that a 23 year old could fall for him at 44. It didn;t change our relationship at all, it didn;t phase me really as we were such good friends by that stage that there was no awkwardness. I didnt think for a second that anythign would come of telling him, but would hate for him never to have known.

I have just finished my degree, after taking classes of his this year too - funny since we had a social relationship seperate from our professional one - especially as very secret. I had tried to forget about my feelings, and we remained friends all throughout this school year, until he got a cell phone for hte first time (I introduced him to the new technology!) - and we began to text message much more personal things to each other - his email goes through the work system and I think this was easier for him.
Anyway - he confessed that he's liked me all along, one thing led to anotehr, and the next time we met, we kissed. Truly the most amazing moment.

A long time coming (in real time - and I'm sure for anyone who could be bothered reading the whole of this post.)
We meet up regualrly now, still get on in all the ways we did before, still adore spending time with him as he is the most intellectual, wonderful, funny and inspiring man I've ever met.
I am almost certainly in love with him, and I know he feels very similar - he is not married - never has been.

But I am married. A totally different problem - don't judge me as you don't have all the facts - and it's somethign I'm working through on my own. But aside this HUGE issue - the whole point of this reply was to let you know Romantic - that you are not alone, it sounds as though he really likes you and I wish you the very very best of luck!

Hey everyone.

Thank you so very much for each and every response.

We went and had coffee together and I really think there are some sparks flying. I feel a little strange broadcasting all this online so I will keep the little details of our conversation to myself .... But yeah, afterwards we went to his office and he read me two poems. He read me one of his own poems and then another one. This other one came to his mind while we were talking; something I said made him think of the poem and he thought that I would really like it (he was right).

When he was reading those two poems to me, I felt sooooooooooo good. It was so intimate. And we were both leaning in towards each other. Plus, his own poem is so beautiful. And the other poem he read to me was like he was reading my heart - I felt so understood.

But yeah, so many little things happened/were said that make me think he is feeling something between us. I am really falling for him - badly. I know what infatuation is, and this is definitely *not* it. But as I said, he is very serious and passionate about what he does, so even though I am a former student, this is still a huge barrier. But love is a powerful thing (obviously); if it happens, it happens. Nothing can stop it. He seems to be quite the romantic himself, so if he feels anything for me, eventually he'll come around.

Also, in his email he said he really enjoyed my visit and is hoping we can do it again sometime.

For now I'll just go with the flow. I am happy just being in his presence. :)

WOW!
This is my first post - despite the fact I've been a regular reader of these boards for ages!
Thank you so much for posting your 'problem' Romantic - I have been in a really similar situation for the past year. You seem to be quite clued up on the whole situation, but thought I would share my own experience, sinice reading yours has been soooo nice for me to realise I'm not the only person to become not just infactuated with a lecturer, but for it to become a mutual attraction!

Short version of very long story is that I have always admired a particular lecturer (I'm a lit student as well!) - and in my 3rd year I got into one of his weekly classes. Same idea as yours, group discussions, admiration only became stronger and we started emailling - I initiated, firstly about class problems I was having, but then he instigated the conversations to be more personal - we chatted about home lives, holidays - the usual.
We started meeting for coffee in the summer after class was over and by then it was clear to me I was falling for him big style - there was definately "something" between us, despite the age gap and the professional relationship.
Around Christmas time I couldn't keep it in any longer and confessed to him that I really liked him, beyond any friendship we had developed.
He didn't respond becuase of his position, but was so flattered that a 23 year old could fall for him at 44. It didn;t change our relationship at all, it didn;t phase me really as we were such good friends by that stage that there was no awkwardness. I didnt think for a second that anythign would come of telling him, but would hate for him never to have known.

I have just finished my degree, after taking classes of his this year too - funny since we had a social relationship seperate from our professional one - especially as very secret. I had tried to forget about my feelings, and we remained friends all throughout this school year, until he got a cell phone for hte first time (I introduced him to the new technology!) - and we began to text message much more personal things to each other - his email goes through the work system and I think this was easier for him.
Anyway - he confessed that he's liked me all along, one thing led to anotehr, and the next time we met, we kissed. Truly the most amazing moment.

A long time coming (in real time - and I'm sure for anyone who could be bothered reading the whole of this post.)
We meet up regualrly now, still get on in all the ways we did before, still adore spending time with him as he is the most intellectual, wonderful, funny and inspiring man I've ever met.
I am almost certainly in love with him, and I know he feels very similar - he is not married - never has been.

But I am married. A totally different problem - don't judge me as you don't have all the facts - and it's somethign I'm working through on my own. But aside this HUGE issue - the whole point of this reply was to let you know Romantic - that you are not alone, it sounds as though he really likes you and I wish you the very very best of luck!


Hi student23,

I am glad that you could relate to my post. And I am also glad that you posted this because as you said, it's so nice to know you're not the only person out there.

I can't believe how similar your situation is to mine. Wow. There's quite the parallel going on here.

I can't even imagine how amazing that kiss must have been. Especially after liking him for so long and building this strong mental/emotional connection for so long before the actual kiss. It must have felt soooooo amazing.

Student23, I am glad things have been working out between you and this man. True love is stronger than anything I'd like to believe - so it can overcome even the agegap and professional relationship together....It's just that sometimes it's so tough to be patient. *sigh*

I hope you get to work things out and things fall into place for you. Again, thanks so much for posting. Reading your story really made me feel better ... not so alone in this, as you said.

But as I said, he is very serious and passionate about what he does, so even though I am a former student, this is still a huge barrier.

I'm probably just stuck in duh today...:o..(TGIF... right? lol), but: What 'this ' is still a huge barrier?

~Rose~

I'm probably just stuck in duh today...:o..(TGIF... right? lol), but: What 'this ' is still a huge barrier?

~Rose~

Hey. No, sorry, my sentence was very badly structured so it's my fault hehe

The fact that I was his student is a barrier. Even though I am a former student and not his current student, he still may consider it as unprofessional to see me in "that way".

But as I said, for now I'm happy with just meeting up every now and then, and seeing where things go.

Romantic, I am so intrigued by your story, whatever happened with you and the professor. I also began a relationship with my professor about a year ago and we had a very similar experience of getting to know each other and then finally taking the plunge into a sexual relationship. Just remember that your perceptions of this man will change tremedously as you get to know him in this new way and be prepared to see him as a man and no longer the hero figure that he is for you now. This can be both rewarding and dissapointing at the same time. It's difficult to explain but be sure that you want this relationship. In my case, I went for it blindly when I wa swept up by all the feelings and later I find myself having lots of issues with the age difference which I never considered when I wa so enamored with him at first. Godd Luck!

Romantic, I am so intrigued by your story, whatever happened with you and the professor. I also began a relationship with my professor about a year ago and we had a very similar experience of getting to know each other and then finally taking the plunge into a sexual relationship. Just remember that your perceptions of this man will change tremedously as you get to know him in this new way and be prepared to see him as a man and no longer the hero figure that he is for you now. This can be both rewarding and dissapointing at the same time. It's difficult to explain but be sure that you want this relationship. In my case, I went for it blindly when I wa swept up by all the feelings and later I find myself having lots of issues with the age difference which I never considered when I wa so enamored with him at first. Godd Luck!

Hi adriael!

Thanks for replying to my post. I am glad you could relate to it and was myself in a way comforted when I read your post. At the moment we are keeping it purely on a "friendship" level, although I must admit I would really want more. However, now that I know I will have him as a Professor again in September, it must stay this way. It's just so difficult though because my feelings for him have just grown stronger since the last time I posted here. And it will be difficult to see him three times a week and not being able to just have all these feelings and wishes fulfilled. But, you know, in a way I am also glad I will see him so often and who knows what the future holds ...

I am having coffee with him again soon so I am very much looking forward to that.
:)