Prime Time Live

The show Prime Time Live is having an article on ow/ym relationship, if you want to see it.

Here on the east coast it airs at 10p eastern, but in it Fran Drescher and Mick Jagger's ex (can't remember her name now) will both talk about the advantages to dating a younger man. it will be interesting to see how this particular show will showcase agr.

So has anyone on this site committed to being on the show? Just so I can be on the lookout. :)

Paris

Is it on tonight, Paris?

I saw on Good Morning America this morning where they were going to be discussing this as well...(they referred to us as "cougars"), but I didn't get to stay and see what was said. Was this just a promo for what they are having tonight, or did anyone get to see it?

Here's what I found in our local tv listing for Prime Time Live tonight at 10 pm EDT:

"A report on "cougars"---older women who fall for younger men---includes an interview with Fran Drescher, whose sitcom, "Living with Fran," is based on the phenomenon."

Hopefully Fran can dispel some of the myths since she has also been in a relationship with a younger man in real life.

Yes, its on tonight ladies.

I too hope that Fran Drescher says something positive about this, but than, oh that's her name Jerry Hall, Jagger's ex comes on and she kind of sends it into a tailspin...some of these aging celebrities should just be quiet if they don't have the education to say something even remotely intelligent.

She makes agr as if it were some kind of sport and your consolation prize is...ta ta...a ym... and has some new reality tv coming out with ym who fight for the prize of dating an ow, at least that was my take on it.

Paris

Cougars? We've gotten labeled? Why that and what's it have to do with falling in love with someone.

You know I'm getting really tired of the double standards and the bs people spout when it comes to younger man/older woman relationships. I went to my first counseling session on Monday night. You wouldn't believe what the therapist said to me with my estranged husband sitting there listening. He said that it's wrong, that if my ym was 60 and I was 40 it would be better and more acceptable. I was stunned. I couldn't believe he said that to me.

Remind me to call up my guy and tell him babe, I have to break up with you and go out and find a 60 year old. Hopefully that will make it all better.

Anyway, people just make me grrr lol

Chessa~

You wouldn't believe what the therapist said to me with my estranged husband sitting there listening. He said that it's wrong, that if my ym was 60 and I was 40 it would be better and more acceptable. I was stunned. I couldn't believe he said that to me.

And you are not the first woman here who I've heard that happen to. It's one of the reasons I dislike the concept of traditional therapy. They should keep their ARROGANT big-headed small-minded opinions to themselves! IMO they think just because they are therapists they are these huge authorities, and they have been given WAY too much personal power over their clients the way it is traditionally done. If I were you I'd change therapists. Not a good fit!

And the cougar thing...stupid, stupid stereotype. But the media loves that kind of trash, so until people wake up there will be a ton more of that. *sigh*

actually i have heard the term couger a few years ago. I think i saw it on Jenny Jones or Ricki Lake i can't remember which but one of the women on their called her and her lady friends "cougers"i can't remember the whole thing but i don't look at it as a negative word at all i think it's a power word for all you "cougers" out there. OW or cougers i like either word ladies. And the Jerry Hall thing is a reality game show on VH! here in the next few weeks or months, i'm not sure if i will watch that it looks cheesy.

It's really amaizing how everything about the news now is just all for show all to get a reaction, you know everything is so much worse than it really is. What people don't realize is that you can't group people in relationships together that's the funny thing with love it's different for everyone.

Here's what I found in our local tv listing for Prime Time Live tonight at 10 pm EDT:

"A report on "cougars"---older women who fall for younger men---includes an interview with Fran Drescher, whose sitcom, "Living with Fran," is based on the phenomenon."




If we're doing the 'falling for'...then who's the cougar??? :p


This show is on at 10 PST on ABC, Channel 7

I watched it with a friend of mine who was visiting, and he said to me knowing i had a relationship with an OW let's go cougar hunting. :D lol . Anyway i didn't like how that came across nothing about love or relationships just sex :(

I watched it and wasn't impressed at all. It just rubbed me the wrong way. :mad:

totally here too :mad:

Yep, I agree. Disappointing broadcast.

The only thing about it that left an impression on me was the statistic they gave that 1/3 of divorced women between the ages of 40 and 60 are dating younger men... but how scientific is that anyway?... younger as in 2 years or 20 years?

I think PrimeTime missed any real opportunity with that segment. No mention of any long term relationships anywhere in it.

Boo! Hiss! :(

well, folks you know what's going to happen now.

Every over hormone, under intelligent, whisker hair ym between the ages of 17 and 30 is going to go and hit on every dang diva over 30 imaginable. She supposely has the money, the resources, the sex drive, the car for him not to work at being in a serious relationship. Talk about an awful, awful segment.

About the only thing she got right is that of the children that becomes an issue at some point.

And that 28 yr old didn't see the word cougar as detrogative, give me a break. And as for Jerry Hall, who is she trying to kid. :eek: And as for Ms. Redhead, somebody needs to tell her, that yes, women can wear minis if they have nice legs but it should don't make you 20. :rolleyes:

Paris

Very disappointing. All about sex, or money, or both. They didnt give Fran any time at all....just a few sentences...no mention of any *REAL* AG relationships nor any interview with any couples that were a good example. They made it all out to be just a fun fling thing OW's are "into" now.

And how nauseating was the "cougar" duo with the website that rates us like cars? ugggh awful, just awful :mad: . YM and I watched it....first thing he said when it was over was..."well...that was quite offensive" I must say, I agree.

well, folks you know what's going to happen now.

Every over hormone, under intelligent, whisker hair ym between the ages of 17 and 30 is going to go and hit on every dang diva over 30 imaginable. She supposely has the money, the resources, the sex drive, the car for him not to work at being in a serious relationship.

I haven't seen the show yet. It's just now 10 p.m., and I'm taping it. However, it sounds so disappointing that I'm not eager to watch it.

As for what Paris has said above, I can't figure out if I'm more receptive to the attentions of younger men at this point, or if they're just becoming more 'open' about it. But it's happening more in my world these days.

I do okay, salary-wise, but they're going to be awfully disappointed from a financial point of view if they think that I can support them. Younger is fine, even maybe preferable at this point, but no money? No way.

P.S. - I haven't seen any of these AG shows. Maybe someone who has should start a letter-writing campaign to Oprah or someone, letting them know how offensive and shallow all of these shows have been, and that someone should do a REAL show on AG relationships.

=== Excerpt from the follow-up article (http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/Health/story?id=731599&page=1) on PrimeTime's website ===

Sex and relationships columnist Valerie Gibson would call them "cougars" — women who date men more than eight years their junior — and they're part of a trend that's coming off the screen and out of the bedroom.

Gibson says the term originated in Vancouver, Canada, as a put-down for older women who would go to bars and go home with whoever was left at the end of the night.

But now, it's more positive — describing women usually their in 30s and 40s, who are financially stable and mentally independent and looking for a younger man to have fun with.

Gibson, who is single but has been married five times — the last time to a man 15 years younger — describes cougars like herself this way: "She's in control. She's very attractive. And she's very sexy."

==================================================

and my footnotes:

What's magic about the number eight?!

Hey! What's the put-down for younger women who do this same thing?? Did there really need to be a separate term for older ones?

Huh??! "have fun with"??! Need I even say anything more here? *how is this "more positive"??!

Is this her credential for being a sex and "relationships" columnist??! The quantity she's had??

Sheesh!! :rolleyes:

Not a bad idea there, SG!

If anyone wants to give PrimeTime a piece of their mind...

email: abc.news.magazines@abc.com

make the Subject line "PrimeTime Live"

Maybe someone should ask them to visit our website..so they can learn a bit about what age-gap relationships are really about? Cougars...*shakes head*

Maybe someone should ask them to visit our website..so they can learn a bit about what age-gap relationships are really about? Cougars...*shakes head*

Here's the email I sent them:

I watched your segment on "Cougars" with great interest last night because I am in an age gap relationship with a man who is 18 years younger than me. When I first entered into this relationship, I was terrified that someone would think bad things about me. Your segment has done nothing except further the misconceptions about these relationships. You had the opportunity to present this differently by interviewing real age gap couples, but instead chose to use sensationalism to attract an audience.

I wish that one of your reporters would come visit agelesslove.com where you will find every day people who are in real age gap relationships. Come talk to some of us there and you will find a much different perspective than the one you presented last night.


SG: Oprah has already done a show about age gap relationships. In fact, Joe and Peachy from here were on it.

And Paris, your post made me think of another thing. We'll probably see more visitors come to the site out of curiosity after they watched that show. Some will be here for a valid reason, but a lot will just be cruising to find "cougars". :(

actually i enjoyed it. main stay america is not going to sit around with their eyes and ears pinned to the t.v. to hear about how we emotionally are tied to our younger partners.

i am GLAD that Jerry Hall and Fran Dreshler put it out there.

the fact is, that many of us know that this is not a fad for Fran, she has been in love and with her younger man for many years now.

i say, get it out there and in america's face, i am tired of the comments of strangers or worst yet friends because i am in an untraditional marriage. the world will come around to the deeper aspects of our relationships, for now the more publicity the better.

Well, I thought they surely made it look like "BIG GAME" hunting indeed!! And those 2 guys got it down to a science!! I think the women on the segment made the power side of it seem like the real rush!! And the dudes, well, it's all good for them!! Now do I wanna drive a ROLLS ROYCE or a TAURUS?!! :p :rolleyes:

I thought it was pretty crass of them to use cars as a symbolic means of rating women. :rolleyes:

SG: Oprah has already done a show about age gap relationships. In fact, Joe and Peachy from here were on it.




I forgot...I missed it. I haven't seen any of these shows.

actually i enjoyed it. main stay america is not going to sit around with their eyes and ears pinned to the t.v. to hear about how we emotionally are tied to our younger partners.

i am GLAD that Jerry Hall and Fran Dreshler put it out there.

the fact is, that many of us know that this is not a fad for Fran, she has been in love and with her younger man for many years now.

i say, get it out there and in america's face, i am tired of the comments of strangers or worst yet friends because i am in an untraditional marriage. the world will come around to the deeper aspects of our relationships, for now the more publicity the better.

I agree with kittylane 100% The sensationalism gets the conversation going. I honestly don't care what the media wants to label my relationship.

My Y/M and I watched the show. We were not impressed.

It was good that the show aired. It did give a different point of view on age gap relationships. It made it appear that they are more related to sex and money and power than anything else.

However, it didnt show any real relationships. The one like I have, where I just went thru having a breast lift and my Y/M spent the nite with me in the hospital and took care of my every need while I re-couped at home. Nor did it show people like us having a debate/spat over hot dogs in the grocery store. (I dont like them at all and he likes them with chili...ughhh) Nor did it show how we both head out to work everyday and share paying the bills. It didnt show people like us who went to a Jazz & Wine festival last weekend and had a blast. In many aspects we're a normal couple we just have a 15 year age difference.

I think the show brought attention to age gap relationships, just not the type that I'm in. We're probably too boring to be the type that they would put on TV...lol

My Y/M thought it was way off key and that the guys that they showed were immature because they were comparing women to cars.

This morning when he said..."get up Cougar its time for work". I rolled my eyes at him and said ..."5 more minutes Boy Toy"...lol. I just hate mornings :)

i say, get it out there and in america's face,

The only problem with putting it in America's face is one little thing kitty, you're married, alot of us are not and its exhausting and frustrating to have ym come on to us because of some preceive ideas that women, especially ow, are an easy lay, which is what I came away with. And of cause, the older the better as she will be financial set up and let's face it, it doesn't take much for people to be brought and women to be taken out of their life's savings.

As it is men, and women see and think differently, so having seen this segment will come away with very different information and its not going to be deep or in my opinion, good for the ow, far from it. ow are squimish about these relationships already as it is, who and how do they trust now. it just put more pressure on the ym who is serious to be taken seriously and the women to take them seriously.

As for Fran D...she wasn't exactly encouraging with her words, what she did say was that now ow can go from "rocking the cradle, to robbing the cradle" all because they are now financial secure and don't need men to secure their financial future. Therefore, again reinforcing the stereotype that its all about sex and power now as it is in her show and Desparate Housewives.

Paris

I was way too tired last night to stay up to see it, and tired enough I forgot to tape it.

Glad I was, now.

~Rose~

hi irparis, i hear ya, but i have been married 11 months the only younger guy that ever came on to me is adam. i work with 50 wemon none of which are with significantly younger guys, we are such a rarity. many women i do like and admire at work wouldnt mind a younger partner, but their motives are not too pure either. its a two way street.

truth always comes out in the end.

I missed the show but this discussion here suddenly made me remember the story line on Friends a while back where Courtney Cox was seeing Tom Sellick and if I remember right they dealt with some of the issues in an age gap relationship but portrayed it overall in a positive light.

Better to foucs on somthing like that that something frustrating. Even though the Freinds one was YW/OM it was positive (and in my eyes age gap is age gap).

I was wondering if there was a way to add onto the front page of the site.. oh.. something to the effect of.. WE ARE NOT COUGARS OR MILF HUNTERS HERE! LOL :eek:

I didn't even know about the show until a friend I worked with told me about it yesterday (knowing that I was in an age gap relationship).....sadly, the first words out of her mouth...well, even if your relationship only lasts a little while...and it doesn't last long term (she says..who knows what you two will decide LATER) ...at least you're having fun now.... :( ...makes me sad...just really....really....tired of the whole media aspect and read on AGR's...as well as people in real life and their STUPID, tired opinions....honestly, it is totally wearing me down...and making me doubt myself and my decisions about being in this type of relationship at this point...I just feel......................sad.

kathyw.... i am sorry that you feel overwhelmed, i totally understand.

you know what my husband told me when i was on the fence about having a relationship with him? He asked me if somewhere down the road in time, if i would "regret" my decision? and then it would be to late, and then for the rest of my life would i wonder if i really gave up on love.

little bugger... that did me in, i actually got more nervous thinking he was right then my own insecurities.

people are sometimes just mean. i dont understand the motive, but they are. its almost like they see our nervousness, insecurity and zero in on it. you know what i think? I think that God put adam in my life to toughen me up a bit, and not live life to everyone elses expectations, you will never be responsible for making the nitwit at work happy but you do have a shot at your own.

if you love this guy, hang in there, live for your own happiness not for everyone's elses expectations of you.

kathyw.... i am sorry that you feel overwhelmed, i totally understand.

you know what my husband told me when i was on the fence about having a relationship with him? He asked me if somewhere down the road in time, if i would "regret" my decision? and then it would be to late, and then for the rest of my life would i wonder if i really gave up on love.

little bugger... that did me in, i actually got more nervous thinking he was right then my own insecurities.

people are sometimes just mean. i dont understand the motive, but they are. its almost like they see our nervousness, insecurity and zero in on it. you know what i think? I think that God put adam in my life to toughen me up a bit, and not live life to everyone elses expectations, you will never be responsible for making the nitwit at work happy but you do have a shot at your own.

if you love this guy, hang in there, live for your own happiness not for everyone's elses expectations of you.

KittyLane...thank you..this couldn't have come at a better time...I am really feeling very overwhelmed and down today..working two jobs...trying to stay on top of things...Matt is in school and working all the time...and we still struggle..then to have to deal with people's negative opinions is almost enough to send me over the edge lately. I've been sleeping most of the day today...just because I'm so "depressed" and exhausted from it all...to put it bluntly. It just seems like very few people really understand these types of relationships...they always think that they are short term...and only about sex...I just get so tired of hearing it ALL the time...our relationship is about so much more than that...thank you for reminding me of this in your very own elouquent way...it really helps. :)

many women i do like and admire at work wouldnt mind a younger partner, but their motives are not too pure either. its a two way street.


Yeah, but I'm not worried about those women, if you look at the personals on ageless you'll find there are 2 women on there who are looking for the pretty boy toy and have had over 200 looks and who knows how many responses...I would say that is more the norm and in keeping with the Prime Time Live show.

but its exhausting to have to sift and search for the one true clam with a perfect pearl. I'm too proactive to wait until it falls on my lap, but it would seem that's what I must do.

Paris

I watched the show. What I got from it is that there are older women that hunt younger men for sex and they call THEMSELVES cougars and they have spawned some younger men hunting older women for sex and other benefits that call themselves "cougar hunters". These are people that are out for one thing and are up-front about it. I don't see any connection between those people and people in age gap relationships.

As far as the report not focusing on positive age-gap relationships - I can count on one hand the times I've seen something on T.V. that's positive about ANY relationship.

I totally am disgusted with older mens comments in general. My YM has dropped out of a sport due to some comments about 'the cougar'..He plainly told them " look i love this women and wont put up with you calling her that anymore". I find women are really accepting of the ym thing..the most heard comment i hear from them is "wow, you go girl!" then a high five. I guess a tougher skin is required for these larger gap relationships. No relationship is guaranteed for longevity anyway, it is one day at a time and being happy now and living in the moment. :)