Pls help!! 15 years age difference

Hello everyone, I am new here....


I am 24 too, and I am going out with my bf who is 15 years older , we are having exactly the same problem, he kept saying to me "Don't u realize there are many younger, better looking and more successful guys out there ?" then I just told him that " Yes I can see that, and I have been out with them too, but at the moment, I am happy to be with you!"

This is how he tried to push me away, we have talked about the issues for so many time that I get really tired with it.

We met online, after we met, we just got on so well, at first I didn't really realize that he is 40 (15 years older than me), cause he just looks so young (when he met my friends at my age, they didn't believe that he is 40 and ask for his ID to check), people just mistaken him as 28 or 30, anyway we started going out, but I guess the age gap really bothered him, so one weekend when he was away for a business trip, he broke up with me said that he met someone like him who is 40 and have things in common, and I felt really sad, but i guess i wanted the best for him and understood that he was just looking for someone to love him and be at the same level with him, I just couldn't give that to him as being a 24 year old.

But one day he email me said that he realized he made a huge mistake, we got back together, as I thought he was over the age gap issue, then he started the conversion again, then we cool off for while, I guess it was good for me to think about the relationship as well, but I knew I was happy when I was with him, , I did have offers from other guys my age or a bit older but i was just not interested, anyway I am very tired of the datiing scene. I am happy and calm when I am with. He just gave my a suprise weekend trip!!!

I do think about whether we have a future as alll the girls do, hahaha!! I do realize that, if we have kids when he is 45, when our child is 20 he will be 65, and I will be 50, well i guess it is not so bad, or is it? I guess it is because my parents have a 9 years difference, well and his parents have a 20 years age gap.


I think his parents 20 age gap didn't really help him, casue he kept saying that he doesn't want to make me acting older like what his dad did to his mum, I should enjoy and act like a 24 year old.

We are fine any other ways, we go on so well, we laugh, we go out, we hang out in the bookshop for hours, we talk for hrs about everything, we do silly things, being with him is not just because he is older, successful, good looking, is like going out with an "old book", the more you read, the more you fall for it, well a very very sweet one ,too.

well even he is 15 years older than me, but sometimes it turns out that it was me giving him advise, well like financial advise, eat more healthy, play less computer games, stop smoking those kind of things.

If his life expectancy is 80, then I will be 65, sounds like a lot, but I rather spend my happiest 40 years with him, then go out with someone my age group and be unhappy.

We tried to break up for so many times, but we always end up in tears and make up again, and have the best time together.

How should I help him to get over the idea of he is wasting my time? and stop him of trying to push me away?

Just an observation but aside from the title of your post, you mentioned the age difference 3 times - and all the math! Something doesn't seem right to me - you're over analysing, making incorrect assumptions and seem focussed on the age gap yourself. The future is an unknown for all of us, whether 30 or 50 and we need to remember to live the life we have now, not dwell on all the what-ifs.

Just an observation but aside from the title of your post, you mentioned the age difference 3 times - and all the math! Something doesn't seem right to me - you're over analysing, making incorrect assumptions and seem focussed on the age gap yourself. The future is an unknown for all of us, whether 30 or 50 and we need to remember to live the life we have now, not dwell on all the what-ifs.

I agree with her post. We need to focus LESS on the age differences and MORE on the love that we want to see grow. We fall in love with someone, and then we take the appropriate steps to ensure the relationship is strengthened. Focus more on the affection between you and your boyfriend than on the age gap.

I have told him for so many times, I love him for who he is and I don't think the age thing is a problem for me at all , and it has always been the only reason he wants to break up with me (he always say I am perfect for him, but only I am not 30 or he is not 35), when I agree to break up, he would act like nothing has happened the next day as if we are still seeing each others, but then after a month he will bring up the age thing again.

I love him very much, but I am getting very tired of him pushing me away all the time, he always wants more time to think about us, I don't know what else he needs to think about? We are fine in any other ways, we are happy and have the best time.

I am very confuessed!!! Do you guys think I should give him sometime to clear his mind (how long?), or I should just let go, even it will be very hard for us, we love each other so much.

Just an observation but aside from the title of your post, you mentioned the age difference 3 times - and all the math! Something doesn't seem right to me - you're over analysing, making incorrect assumptions and seem focussed on the age gap yourself. The future is an unknown for all of us, whether 30 or 50 and we need to remember to live the life we have now, not dwell on all the what-ifs.

satin and lace......BRAVO!...


If you are to focused on the age difference.....it may not work. If you love him, and he loves you, age does not matter.
Good Luck.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the age gap. Obviously. I am 23 and have been extremely happy with a 42 year old for almost 2 years and hope this lasts as long as it can.

BUT, you are ALL over the place, thinking too much about something here, worrying too much about something there. CALM DOWN. This will not work if you are constantly thinking about his own mortality or how your non-exustent kids will feel in 20+ years.

My father was 44 when I was born... he's 67 now, as my mom is 62, and I don't find anything wrong with that, I LOVE them, I think they are AWESOME, I talk to them every day on the phone, they are THE most active people I know.

My boyfriend's parents were 40 and 42 when he was born. Now they're 82 and 84... he thinks they're awesome, before we moved to where they live he would call them every day, now he visits them every day AT THEIR HOME, that they built 50 years ago, where they still live completely independently.

Doing the math though, and assuming your age when your boyfriend dies is VERY overanalytical. He may live to 80... he may only live to 50. YOU may only live to 30. You may freak out and leave this relationship and marry a guy your own age who dies at 35.

You have to live life and enjoy each day and if he contributes to you enjoying today, let tomorrow bring whatever. Stop worry about what's conventional or what society wants and just continue to enjoy his company.

Once you ACCEPT the differences, you forget all about them.

And it works both ways. I am always worried that my boyfriend will want to be with someone more mature and sophistacated who has more knowledge of os many of his interests, but too bad, the poor sucker fell for me and we're stuck together! Tell him to quit his worrying cuz you love him and want to be with him- that is if you can get over all the other pitfalls.

My girlfriend is 25 years younger than me. But we are deeply in love and are happy with the situation. Of course there is oppostion and many, many obstcales. But if our love is strong we will survive.

I agree with her post. We need to focus LESS on the age differences and MORE on the love that we want to see grow. We fall in love with someone, and then we take the appropriate steps to ensure the relationship is strengthened. Focus more on the affection between you and your boyfriend than on the age gap.
You hear the same thing over and over. You are too old she is too young
You are robbing the cradle. Parents and famlies dont approve. Who's life is it anyway? So both couples are torn apart and are both sad and unhappy and may never find their soul mate ever again. All that because people will talk and they don't approve. I am so glad for this forum. The people who are in the same situation as I am need this support. Shame the rest of the world does not understand. Maybe we should start our own community.