Teenager & Birth Control

I've never been one to tell my daughter to have sex, I've always said wait until you're in a committed relationship prior to having sex.

And if you're thinking about having sex. Come talk to me.

A few months ago my 16 yr old came to me asking questions about birth control. I told her what I knew and gathered some information for her.

Recently, she came to me again saying that she thinks its time for her to get birth control. I didnt panic...... :confused:

I explained to her what would happen at a doctors visit and told her to think about it for another week and get back with me. If she still wants birth control, we'll make an appointment at that time.

Now the strange thing is that she does not have a boyfriend. She's not sexually active.

She has mentioned that several of her friends are getting birth control. Actually 4 out of 7. When I asked if they were sexually active she said no for a couple of the girls and the others she said Oh mom...I dont want to be telling you all of their business.

And that since the new methods help with cramps, she says that would be great, she wont have bad cramps anymore.

Now......given the above would you take your daughter to get birth control ??

I'm really confused as to why she wants to take them. Good thing is that we have a week for her to think it over, maybe during this time she'll provide more information. HELP !!

Yep.

If she's requesting it, you are best off by making sure she has pregnancy protection. Get her some condoms, too.

I've always been very open and forward with my sons about sex. I think that, once you have expressed to kids that they should wait until they are in a committed relationship and can afford to have a kid, you can't then put your head in the sand and expect them to just do what you say. When do kids ever listen to their parents?? LOL!

They need to get the "talk", know your fellings and expectations AND have the protection - just in case. Because even the smartest kid can make stupid mistakes.

My mom used to tell me that, although she thinks/knows that I should wait, I had better come to her FIRST if I decide I'm ready. She said that, if I came to her for protection and I still got pregnant, she would help me, but if I didn't come to her first, I'd be on my own.

That stuck with me.

And, while my best friend - who's mother was a nurse, but completely stayed out of it when it came to sex - ended up having an abortion in high school, because of sex without protection, I was just as sexually active, but on the pill. Laurd knows that I would have been in the same boat if it hadn't been for my mother's support.

Yep, Miss b, sounds like the time has come. Please, as Kristin said, supply her with BOTH condoms and birth control pills.

You know what scares me, Miss b (as if you're not already scared enough), I am a full-grown, fully mature, intelligent woman with a strong sense of self, and I am a total wimp when it comes to condoms because, in the throes of passion, I just turn to mush when a man begs. Why am I exposing this weakness to you? Because I think convincing your daughter that she absolutely must insist that the boy use condoms, even if she loves him, even if they're "going steady," is a huge challenge. :o Truth is, I'd like to say give her ONLY condoms for sexual protection so she HAS to use them but that's foolish.

In spite of all the inevitable bruises that her heart will endure and the potential danger to her body that entering the realm of sexual relations entails, I smile as I think of the adventure that awaits your daughter, (And you GOTTA know that's a non-mom talking!), but that day could be YEARS away. Using birth control pills and carrying condoms isn't going to "make" her have sex, anymore than not having protection is going to stop her from having sex.

The expression: "Having a child is like taking your heart out of your chest, sticking arms and legs on it, and watching it walk away, bumping into things as it goes," is so true, isn't it?

Here's a big hug for you - ((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))

Kristin & Chatter......Thanks for understanding.

I've always been very open with both of my daughters, I'm not surprised that she came to me when she had questions, but I am surprised that she asked for protection since she is not dating anyone. I think that since her friends are using birth control she wants to use it too. I also think even if she does not have a boyfriend that she's thinking ahead and getting prepared for sex.

When I approached my mother for birth control it was out of pure fear. She had me so affraid of getting pregnant that I had no choice but to go to her, because I knew there was no way that I would risk getting pregnant. She would kill me.

Whatever reasons my daughter has, I'll take her to the doctor and provide condoms as well, because I dont want her to end up in a situation that she's not prepared for.

For some reason I'm still looking at her as "my baby". When in fact she's an attractive teenager that's smart and involved in music and on her way to college in a couple of years. I wouldn't want anything like an unwanted pregnancy to stand in the way of her future.

Chatter......I know talking about condoms can be uncomfortable even at my age. With my y/m I didnt know how to bring it up so when the relationship was getting close with us I just asked what kind did he use. When he answered, I just said, good well you need to keep some on hand, just in case we need them. I think that gave him the clue that he needed to use them.

I dont think she'll be to affraid of requesting that the young man use condoms. We've talked in detail about that way before she approached me with her desire to get birth control. Let's hope some of those conversations stuck with her.

I don't have a Teen yet.. But I totally agree with Kristen.... It's better to have it then not.... even if she says she's not active... I had my stepson living with us for awhile he is now19 but at the time he was 16 and my husband and I gave him some Condums and explained how important if he does do it..... and he laughed and said I"M NOTTT LOL but we said thats good but Ya better be safe than sorry... :)

Good Luck!!!

I think you gave him good advice. And, no, I don't think you should have told him to be faithful.

I think you gave him good advice. And, no, I don't think you should have told him to be faithful.

Agreed. :) Besides... seems to me he did good, on his own with what you DID tell him. He loved (y), wondered if he should have sex with (x), and instead of hurting himself or either of them any more than necessary (because it IS an important issue(s) - Love/Sex) that he is now moved on, and is seeing (Z). Not having had sex, and too soon (assumably) to be 'in love' yet, with Z, he has the space to grow and learn in this 'thing' with Z.

Seems to me you've got a great kid, there Sheila... level headed AND in the throws of "THE TEENS"... in today's society ta boot? IMO... Ya did great, Mom, and so did he!

~Rose~

Latest Update.....

I gave her condoms and we have a doctors appointment this week. We had a talk about condoms and I think if she needs them she'll insist on the y/m using them. I also got some information regarding different methods of birth control and she read the information, so we're just ready for the actual appointment. Which since she is still a virgin the appointment wont be so bad for her. No pap smear or anything like that will be required.

Teens you gotta love them. !!!

Jumping in on this one late, but...

My daughter came to me in a similar fashion. We have a *VERY* open atmosphere on sex in my home. To my knowledge she was not sexually active at the time, however, I took her anyways. I told myself that I likely didn't know everything, even though I wished I did and wanted her protected no matter what.

You definately made the right decision. :)

Jumping in on this one late, but...

My daughter came to me in a similar fashion. We have a *VERY* open atmosphere on sex in my home. To my knowledge she was not sexually active at the time, however, I took her anyways. I told myself that I likely didn't know everything, even though I wished I did and wanted her protected no matter what.

You definately made the right decision. :)
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Marcy...this is exactly what I'm feeling. I probably dont know everything, but from what I do know I think that its best that I'm taking her to the doctor. This way if she does decide to have a sexual relationship, she's protected.

We've always been very open about sex at my home too, so I do feel that it was good that she felt close enough to me to come to me for assistance. Prior to her coming to me she had told me of a friend of hers thats sexually active and using only condoms because she's afraid to tell her mother that she needs birth control because her mom will be mad that she's having sex.

I don't want to mislead you... I wasn't as cool about this as I'm letting you believe... I ultimately did have an intentional chat with Sarah. I went to see her in her room a short time after getting her situated with her protection (that should read a few days later). I sat down on her bed and talked intentionally about casual sex. I shared with her my own experiences regarding casual sex and I encouraged her to avoid it. We talked about the feelings a woman has when she engages in this behavior and how she feels later. We talked about the difference between wanting love and getting sex. Sarah never admitted to me that she was engaging in casual sex, though it was my guess she was...

She went away to college last fall. During this first year away, she had several "shortish" relationships and brushes with casual sex. She has definately learned what I was trying to pass along to her first hand. I wish we could give our children that which was so hard earned by us, our experience, but we can't... most of us have to earn that for ourselves.

I think you gave him good advice. And, no, I don't think you should have told him to be faithful.
I DISAGREE.

I think Sheila's advice was good, but stopped too short. I would have said that he has chosen to be in a committed relationship (understanding how fleeting this really is at 15, but it doesn't seem that way to THEM) and he needs to honor that commitment. If he feels that there is something deeper lacking in the relationship, or his feelings for her have changed, he should end the relationship - NOT CHEAT.

Gawd, so many women complain about the lack of decent men out there. If we, as mothers, don't raise decent guys and hold them to a higher standard, who will??

It sounds like he is already a decent kid, but that doesn't mean that mom shouldn't take an opportunity to emphisize that cheating or dumping someone because they won't "put out" is wrong. He may have come to that conclusion, or it may have just ended for other reasons and a chance was missed. :(

It's sad that we have to think about this when are kids become teenagers and even younger.I have a fewboys that are in there teenage years. My husband and I sat down with then when they became teenagers and had the birds and the bees talk with them. They know how we feel about pre-mariital sex. We told them that they should wait but, if they do decide to have sex that they should always use protection. I mean I can't tel them not to have sex. I was 18 years old and having sex with myolder husband at the time and we never used protection. I never told anybody this before but, I enededup getting preganat and i had an abortion and it killed me. It still hurts to this very day becuase myhusband was the man who I conceieved a child with but, at 18 and not married I couldn't have a child so I did what I had to do.
Here is my point I could not ask my parents to get me birth control, for my parents it was just unheard of. They thought I was still a virgin when I married my husband, had my parents made it easier for me to talk to them I would have asked to got to the doctor and get birth control but, I knew how they would react so, i never did ask. Ny husabdnshould have used condoms but, he didn't and what I never wanted to ahppen did. My parenst don't know to this day that I had an abortion and they never will.
Take your daughter to the doctor and get her on birth control. It just nice to have that piece of mind whether she is having sex or not.

Jennifer........I'm sure what you went through was very hard on you. That's just the situation that many young women find themselves faced with today. I'm taking my daughter because I dont want her to end up in a similar situation. I'm so glad that she felt that she could come to me and talk about things. I spoke to a friend of mine about the situation and she has younger teenage kids (13 & 14) herself and her advice is that I shouldnt take my daughter. She feels that I'm giving her permission by taking her. I dont agree. My daughter knows that I feel that she should wait until she's married to have a sexual relationship, but I also know that that's not always what happens when you have teens and hormones working together. I would rather advise her and make sure she's protected than risk her having unprotected sex.

As a parent we have choices to make. I can only hope that I'm making the right one for my daughter.

It's definitely NOT the same thing as giving permission, especially if you ensure your daughter knows your feelings about sex and when you feel its appropriate.

I had a friend back in the day... wayyyyy back in the day. We were both 13. She was such a nice girl, but apparently was active very early and got pregnant at 13. She was devastated. So was her mother, who had also been a teenage mom. By the time she was 18, she had three kids and a husband and you've never met a more miserable person. Her mother went insane and was committed. It was horrible all around...

And I have this to say:

I planned on remaining a virgin until I got married. I had every intent to do so. I was raped at 16 by a "friend." (Some friend!) Luckily, I didn't get pregnant. BUT, I am personally MUCH more inclined to want to put my daughter on the pill AS SOON as she starts menstrating... SHE can control herself and is to be trusted. THEY are not. I would not want one horrible potential situation (and it happens to a LOT of girls) turn into something that is a million fold worse (having to choose an abortion or adoption or raising a child of a rape!!!)

Yeah.. so many different scenarios. I vote for the pill and educating them as soon as they are physically considered women. You cannot always be there to protect your children from monsters!
~phos

Miss B, your doing the right thing by taking her to get birth control. Even if she is not active right now, it seems that she might at some point and she is asking you about it (which takes a lot of courage). I think all teens need to be informed when it comes issues regarding sex and protection. I think the sex education classes lack a lot of substance and need to be restructured.

I had parents similar to Jennifer...very old-fashioned and southern baptist. So talking to my mother about sex was a no zone (which should never be the case). However, we did not live in the best of neighborhood and it wasn't common to see girls as young as 12 pregnant (2 girls I knew in middle school had kids in the 8th grade). So at 12, I would check-out as many sexual health books from the library just to educate myself on the issue. My father wanted to put my sister on birth control once they found out she was sexually active, but my mother thought it was giving her permission to have sex. As a result, at 16 she had an abortion. I hate to say I've learned from my sisters mistakes, but I have.

With this being said, I think its great that your daughters (Marcy and Miss B) came to you and asked you if they get birth control. I only hope that when my nephews and future niece (she's on the way :D ) get that age that they be smart about it.

Nu

Ok I lived thru the doctors appointment. :o

She lived thru it as well.

She talked to the doctor alone and it was determined that she would do better by trying the Depo shot. The doctor felt that a teenager taking pills for the first time and they are not sexually active can often forget to take the pills and often take them when they think they need them. So Depo might be best for her. My daughter agreed, and she got her shot and we both lived thru it.

I advised her that if she has any questions regarding the sexual act that she should come to me. She said that if she gets to that point she would.

Thanks for all of the support ladies, this has been a nervous week for me. Home, kids and work issues at the same time can take a lot out of you.

Gawd, so many women complain about the lack of decent men out there. If we, as mothers, don't raise decent guys and hold them to a higher standard, who will??


Kristin, I cannot cheer and applaud loud enough in response to this statement/question.


..

Ok I lived thru the doctors appointment. :o

She lived thru it as well.

She talked to the doctor alone and it was determined that she would do better by trying the Depo shot. The doctor felt that a teenager taking pills for the first time and they are not sexually active can often forget to take the pills and often take them when they think they need them. So Depo might be best for her. My daughter agreed, and she got her shot and we both lived thru it.

I advised her that if she has any questions regarding the sexual act that she should come to me. She said that if she gets to that point she would.

Thanks for all of the support ladies, this has been a nervous week for me. Home, kids and work issues at the same time can take a lot out of you.

I also got the Depo shot for Sarah. If she's going to be on protection... I *REALLY* wanted it to protect. She did not have to worry about taking something. However, after about 6 months, she started a period that lasted for more than 30 days! Our physician said that it is sometimes a side effect of Depo. We switched to birth control pills after that...

Latest Update.....

I gave her condoms and we have a doctors appointment this week. We had a talk about condoms and I think if she needs them she'll insist on the y/m using them. I also got some information regarding different methods of birth control and she read the information, so we're just ready for the actual appointment. Which since she is still a virgin the appointment wont be so bad for her. No pap smear or anything like that will be required.

Teens you gotta love them. !!!


Hey, I know this is probably a silly question but can you seriously get the pills if you are a virgin with out the pap smear? I'm on it for irregular periods im not having sex.. and I can't get thru a pap smear with out screaming and throwing fits if this is true it would be great.. Can you tell me where you got your info? Thanks :) God Bless

Hey, I know this is probably a silly question but can you seriously get the pills if you are a virgin with out the pap smear? I'm on it for irregular periods im not having sex.. and I can't get thru a pap smear with out screaming and throwing fits if this is true it would be great.. Can you tell me where you got your info? Thanks :) God Bless


Okay, call me crazy...but I don't understand why you would not want to have a pap smear?

A pap smear can detect abnormal cells (pre-cancerous cells) and cervical cancer. I'd say that it's just as important, if not more so, than doing your breast exams.

Many doctors are okay with you having a pap only every 2 or 3 years (instead of every year) once you have a history of normal paps.

Me, I'd rather have the test because I would certainly want to know if I had pre-cancerous cells.

I used to bug an ex of mine about the fact that he didn't get his prostate checked regularly (he's several years older than I am). If I can't get a pap, who would I be to harass him about getting the finger?

ConfusedGirl...if it hurts that badly, is it possible for you to change doctors? I have always believed that getting a regular pap is important...but that's just my two cents.

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It's not that I don't want to have a pap smear. Sorry if it sounded that way.. it's just I've tried twice.. Once when I was 13 and the doctor did get the smear but I was screaming so loud and cryin so hard she stopped the exam. I then went to my family doctor when I was 16 and she told me that I was too tight and to go home and masturbate and then try to have a papsmear she was really mean and practically shoved something inside of me and I couldnt continue with the test it hurt too bad and she kept saying mean things.. I'm still depressed over it.. and I'm scared of pap smears.. for good now..

It's not that I don't want to have a pap smear. Sorry if it sounded that way.. it's just I've tried twice.. Once when I was 13 and the doctor did get the smear but I was screaming so loud and cryin so hard she stopped the exam. I then went to my family doctor when I was 16 and she told me that I was too tight and to go home and masturbate and then try to have a papsmear she was really mean and practically shoved something inside of me and I couldnt continue with the test it hurt too bad and she kept saying mean things.. I'm still depressed over it.. and I'm scared of pap smears.. for good now..


Sounds awful, CG. Truly. Hope you find another doctor who is a bit more sensitive about it.

I don't know if everyone would agree with me but I just feel like it's one of those things that we girls should be doing to take care of ourselves.

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So Depo might be best for her. My daughter agreed, and she got her shot and we both lived thru it.

Well, my sister was on that for the last 4 years and is a vegitarian and doesnt eat well at that, with out the nutriants and stuff meat gives you with the shoot my sister got to be very moody and had allot of downward mood swings. To the point she was a diffrent person then everyone in the family knew her as. When she stoped getting the shoot and went back to the pill her mood has been the good ol happy energetic one we all knew her for. So its a thaught to look into that, i am not sure if its common for i am a guy and the only person that has ever talked about that with me was my sister. But try looking into that.

As for protection, I feel that its a good thing that you got her some of her own. For knowing me as well as all my buddys had that one condom we had in are wallet since jr high that was hard as a rock and probally would disinigrate if opened. So thats just another thing, just cause a guy might have a condom, doesnt mean it is in the shape to use it, try to bring that up with her cause it would not be a good thing if she were to end up having it break for it being in the guys wallet for 3 years.

I think its great that you were able to have such a frank discussion with your daughter, Miss B. It will save her alot of heartache later.

We've been talking to my niece about sex since she could talk. We have always advocated abstienance, and she wasn't allow to date solo until she was 18 and group dates only at 16. Explaining to her our reasons for these rules was very simple...we wanted her to find her sense of self first before some boy came along and thought to change her to his way of thinking.

All my cousins, including her mother, had sex at an early age and they've all regretted it badly, especially her mother, who seems not to be able to get out of bad relationships until she has another in the wings...so at 16, we also had the birth control talk, as we know that there are moments when even the most resourceful person can be caught up in the moment. My niece is thankful for the abstienance as she has learn as did I when I was her age that there are far worst things than having a child, its having a child with a boy who has no education or job experience or maturity to handle a child. And since we all live in the "hood" we see it alot. Score 1 for us.

But what cement the whole scenario in her mind was when her aunt had her son 10 years ago, she was 13...we decided to let her be in the delivery room so she can actually see all it entails to go through labour, score 2 for us...right now she's 23 and still wants to wait until she gets married, score 3 for us...we've impress upon her to recognize that just because its a steady relationship...its far from being a committed relationship...and once that physical aspect of the relationship commences, it can be really hard to break off or be broken off from the relationship if he turns out to be an ****, so she had to make sure that he was worth her body. this was her body, a gift and not some garbage dump for strayed sperm looking for a new host.

Now we have another two nieces who's 14, and thank goodness they still thinks boys are a pest, but the rules still apply to them...there's alot of tough love in my family, so we expect no less.

paris

Hey, I know this is probably a silly question but can you seriously get the pills if you are a virgin with out the pap smear? I'm on it for irregular periods im not having sex.. and I can't get thru a pap smear with out screaming and throwing fits if this is true it would be great.. Can you tell me where you got your info? Thanks :) God Bless

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I dont know about all locations, but in my daughters case, the doctor spoke with her and seemed that she was telling the truth about being a virgin and she didnt think a pap smear was necessary. She did explain to my daughter what it was and let her know that after she becomes sexually active that she would need to have one.

I took my daughter to my personal doctor and I think she did a great job in speaking with her when I was present and when I wasn't present. She spoke to her about facts and responsibility. So far its ok.

I also think that for anyone who is sexually active a pap smear is needed. We need to take care of our bodies and its just another way for early detection. Its not always pleasant but for me its required..just like the mamo...ughhh.

Thanks, yeah I'm a virgin I was needing the pills for my period.. I just dont like going thru a pap smear when im a virgin it's very painful and im really scared and since im not having sex i was trying to gether info about how I could get it with out a pap

You really shouldn't need the smear... my GYN said the same thing back when I was 16. When you're NOT sexually active, it's REALLY not necessary unless you have other symptoms. Severe cramping and PMS? Abnormal bleeding? Those are good reasons TO have a pap. I have 18 year old friends who have had "abnormal" results and surgeries to remove pre-cancerous leisons, so AGE and sexual activity don't always have ANYTHING to do with cancer.

IF you OB/GYN Doctor is requiring the pap smear, my guess it would be for a good reason. To make sure your abnormal periods aren't a result of some OTHER problem.

Advice: Yes, you're a virgin, BUT that shouldn't make it extremely painful. First of all, IF you have to go through this... RELAX. That's absolutely the BEST advice I can give you. If you tense up and clamp down your muscles down there, they cannot get the speculum, no matter HOW lubricated it is, in there to allow them to get the smear. Breathe deep, relax and much as you can and think about letting those muscles open. Seriously. It doesn't HAVE to be painful. You CAN help.

There are these exercises that pregnant women to do increase the strength of their pelvic floor and to raise their muscular ability... ahem.. down there. They are called Keigel exercises. Squeeze as if you are stopping yourself from peeing... hold for three seconds, let go for three... do these 3 times a day in batches of 10. They can help you familiarize yourself with your own pelvic muscles and you can TELL them to relax... :D

The advice on "go home and masturbate" was truly insensitive.

Cudo's to you on staying a virgin. I think that's really cool.

~phosphorescent

Thanks for replying :) I wasn't having my period at all... and I got bc pills.. I think it's the lowest form.. 'Yasmin' I didn't get thru the whole pap smear when i was 13 just long enuff to get the smear but I think she stopped because I was screaming and crying so bad. I think I take panic attacks.. She knows my problem now though.. and since I did barely get thru the first pap smear.. and I'm not having sex or anything like that and have been on these pills for 4 years no bad side effects just some spotting or so.. I was reading other medical info and the doctors or people said they didnt require pap smears if you are a virgin and just taking it for your period or something.. I wish I could find more websites like this.. I know cancer has nothing to with age.. it's just I can't sleep.. I can barely eat I'm scared so bad.. I just wish I could get them with out a pap.. if I were having sex I'd go straight and get one because I know I could get through it. but I'm not.. and its painful.. I probably wont have sex for a long time.. neither.. I'm scared .. the pap smear has almost turned me against sex seriously.. Thanks for the congrats on being a virgin God bless :) Sorry if I sound complicated Im just really scared.. my appointment is the 20th.. but I wasnt going for a pap but Ive not had one in so long she might ask and she might not.. Im just worried..thanks again :)

You know, being a virgin or not being a virgin, if your SCARED of having the pap or uncomfortable about it, is REALLY irrelevant.

You could have sex six hundred times, hon, and if you're uncomfortable with seeing the gyn, it could STILL be painful. *raises hand, speaks from experience*

Again, RELAX. Calm down, BREATHE DEEPLY and most of all... DO NOT PANIC.

Can you take your mother with you? Can you ask her to hold your hand and help you relax? Can you possibly take a muscle relaxant before hand, like Perogesic or something?

Attitude is 95% of the problem. You're going in with FEAR and clamping up your muscles SO TIGHT you're MAKING it hurt. You're causing yourself pain on multiple levels!!!

YOU have control over your muscles down there. Only you. If you're scared and clamping them shut tight, your making it much worse than it needs to be. You know, BABIES come out of there! I've had TWO, and I tell you, they really, really do come out of that tiny, tiny hole. LOL.

The exercises I mentioned will help you familiarize yourself with your own pelvic muscles. DO THEM. Then breathe deeply, relax, take a muscle relaxant, bring along Mom or your best friend to hold your hand and remind you to RELAX... Breathe... RELEASE the muscles.

And that slightly warmed up speculum smothered in KY jelly will slide right in... swipe, poke once or twice to ensure you don't have any fibroids, then they slip it right out. It is NOT a big deal.

And your virginity status is only your own mental excuse to why it would be worse. WHEN you decide to have sex, if you're AFRAID or FEARFUL, it will be REALLY painful. But, if you choose to exercise your own mental rights over your own body and RELAX... BREATHE... and LET it happen, you will enjoy it.

Choose to be in control. That is usually the root of fear, anyway.. feeling helpless and like you don't have control. In this instance, YOU DO have control. YOU.

~phosphorescent

If there is an abnormally thick hyman, would it even be possible to reach the cervix through it? Wouldn't they have to break the hyman for a virgin? It would explain the pain.

That would explain the pain the first time, but not subsequent times. ;)
~phos

Miss B

Great advice by all our fellow ladies, of course!

Just a build from me, if I may....

I told my girls that it's called birth CONTROL not birth PREVENTION and that even if you use it correctly unplanned pregnancies can occur. I used to tell them that when you are "ready to have a baby then you are ready to have sex"....sort of tongue in cheek. Birth control is like any other tool that you have to use safely, properly and wisely. It is no guarantee of anything.

..cause pain with the pap smear? :/

Miss B

Great advice by all our fellow ladies, of course!

Just a build from me, if I may....

I told my girls that it's called birth CONTROL not birth PREVENTION and that even if you use it correctly unplanned pregnancies can occur. I used to tell them that when you are "ready to have a baby then you are ready to have sex"....sort of tongue in cheek. Birth control is like any other tool that you have to use safely, properly and wisely. It is no guarantee of anything.

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You're right bubbleee........

I feel comfortable that my daughter is equiped if she does decide to have sex. We've had several talks on the subject, she has condoms, and now has birth control. At this point all I can do as a parent is keep talking to her and pray.

Wish I knew then what I know now. I think the sad part abou this is that girl have to get on birth control at such a young age. Yes, I was young but, I was 18whenI got pregnant and had myproceure done. I hate to say the A word becuase I am so aginst it.I know I am being a hypocrit but, if I had the chance to do it allmover again I wiould have nature takes it course.
Anyway, Birth control has become a must and when my duaghter becomes that age in 13 years i am sure it will be even more of an almost law type thing.
I surely made a mistake and I pay for it everyday becuase it still hurts. i never thought it would ahppen to mebut, it did.
Most ofnthe people I knew that I told never thought it would ahppen to me. I was a straight A student and a cheerleader and athletic and very popular and here i was at 18 andd pregnant. Obviously my boyfriend whois now my husband how noproblem with it becuase he was 37 and ready for a child but, I just wasn't ready at 18 to become mother. I don't know too many 18 year olds who are reay to become mothers.
Anyhow, a year later at 19 and married my husband and I got pregnant again and I delivered a helathy baby boy.