"Ignore User" Option

It took me a long time to first use the "ignore" option. Even after a friendly member tried to tell me to use it and I brushed her off and then regretted it, and I was STILL reluctant to use it. I don't know why: Giving the benefit of the doubt? Giving a second chance? Not wanting to judge? Feeling it "wasn't nice"? Feeling that I should be able to control myself? Feeling like I was "weak" if I didn't deal with my it?

Whatever my reasons, someone had to do something that I consider "the last straw" before I'd use it, and now I realize how dumb that is. "Ignore" is a wonderful option that has dramatically improved the quality of my time here and I plan on using it whenever I feel like it and I'm not going to feel guilty about doing something that makes me feel better.

Is anybody else struggling with this? Anybody else want to sing the praises of the "ignore" option?

I too, find it a great user tool C-Box!! Cheers!! :rolleyes:

I'm not able to use it because as a Mod, I need to be able to see all the PMs if necessary.

But, I use it on yahoo all the time and I really like it. There was a fellow I used to chat with on yahoo. We were just friends, but he became obsessed with talking to me. And, after asking him several times to leave me alone, I began that struggle that you mentioned... "should I put him on 'ignore' or not?". I finally did and it was the best thing I could do for myself. In that situation, I forewarned him that I was going to need to do that. And, ultimately, I had to. I am finally at peace now and no longer have to worry about seeing his IMs each time I log on or being bombarded with them all the time I am online.

Agelesslove provides this feature for a reason. But, I bet very few people use it.

Thanks, Whiterose. You know, I learn things like this: "I am not a rude person. If I find myself responding in a rude way (or not responding because I can't think of a non-rude way to respond), it is because someone has PUT me in that position." And I TELL it to others all the time, "You are not a rude person. If you find myself responding with rudeness (or not responding because you can't think of a non-rude way to respond), it is because someone has PUT you in that position." but I have to keep re-learning it!

I too have "struggled" with this issue for the exact same reasons you mention, Chatterbox.. but also, a part of me feels, "why should I"? Ignoring a "problem" (for lack of a better word), doesn't make it go away. Instead, it should be dealt with. But.. I just may take a tip from you, and start using the ignore button as well, guilt free. :)

It took me a long time to first use the "ignore" option. Even after a friendly member tried to tell me to use it and I brushed her off and then regretted it, and I was STILL reluctant to use it. I don't know why: Giving the benefit of the doubt? Giving a second chance? Not wanting to judge? Feeling it "wasn't nice"? Feeling that I should be able to control myself? Feeling like I was "weak" if I didn't deal with my it?

Whatever my reasons, someone had to do something that I consider "the last straw" before I'd use it, and now I realize how dumb that is.

Is anybody else struggling with this? Anybody else want to sing the praises of the "ignore" option?


Not dumb, Chatter... your take on the matter, is valid... I was in the same mire (still am?).

All I have to do now, is learn to use it before I reach the 'last straw'... still, workin' on that, for whatever reason... determining timing is challenging, for sure. That last straw has a habit of slamming in at a blindside... and, that's the crux. :o

(((CB)))
~Rose~

I looked down at my little quote: "I am and I am happy to be and that is all I need." and I kinda feel bad because I lost that happiness for a bit. Why do I let others take away my happiness???? Ahhhhh, nevermind - no need to answer why. I REALLY come here to have fun, to get help, to help when I can, to share my age-gap experience and to encourage others with theirs, but I'm not perfect and I get distracted sometimes, and the "ignore" option is going to help keep me on track and help keep Agelesslove.com a place I like to come to!

All hail the "Ignore" option! [Insert shalaaming (sic?) figure here.]

Hi, Genevieve, Hi Rose! I was typing while you were posting. Thanks for sharing and letting me know that I'm not the only one!

I too have "struggled" with this issue for the exact same reasons you mention, Chatterbox.. but also, a part of me feels, "why should I"? Ignoring a "problem" (for lack of a better word), doesn't make it go away. Instead, it should be dealt with. But.. I just may take a tip from you, and start using the ignore button as well, guilt free. :)

**Too lazy to cut and paste (in bold) it.... to add as an edit to my own post**

Hear ye, Gene. I second you. :o

~Rose~

I just decided that I didn't HAVE to be the one to deal with it. :D And I find it very freeing!

Also.. just to add another thought..

If we, as contributing members of this community, are supposed to report posts, lol, no one would be doing that if everyone ignored certain posters. Something else to ponder, I suppose. :)

Have never used it, I just ignore in my mind.

BUT, your post makes me wonder WhiteRose....I thought nobody could see personal messages except sender and receiver...this has been discussed here before and that is what I thought was told to us. Is this no longer correct?

Genevieve, I hear ya' and I agree 100%. Now, I report a poster once and click over to put them on my ignore list. I'm willing to let the Mods handle it and to let it go if they don't handle it the way I want.

You know, Genevieve, I have always wanted to "be nice" and I'm not saying that's a bad thing and I intend to keep trying, but for what may be the first time in my life, I am giving myself permission to not like someone - no psychoanalyzing them, no feeling sorry for them because they must be a really unhappy person, just saying, "I don't like what this person has to say, and I'm not going to listen anymore."

It is fascinating to me the way so many different threads about different things have "woven" together to bring me to this conclusion! Neat.

Anyway, my last concern is the people that are being "attacked" by those I have chosen to ignore .... I am sorry for them but I don't have any solution for that.

It is my understanding that private messages are not displayed. What's interesting is that you can see the result of them sometimes - and that it's sooooo obvious who's PMing who and what they're saying!!!!

I, personally, just LOVE how I've become "IGNORE worthy" today... for stating my opinion??? Certainly not for being OFFENSIVE or cussing or attacking.

Yes... "ignore" certainly IS an option, however, I don't ignore anyone for the very reason's Gen stated. I am a member of this site, and as a member of this site, I contribute to benefit everyone and some of the most interest things I've read around here came from people I DID NOT like when either I or they first got here.

I come to this site with an open mind to learn how other people cope with their AGR problems and to offer advice when its needed. Certainly not to be belittled and ignored for having a DIFFERENT opinion.

But yes, I disagree with you, therefore the only way you can COPE with my existence in the same forum is to ignore me? Whatever. How juvenile and pathetic!

~phos

I think another reason that I was reluctant to use the "ignore" option was because I felt it was immature, like slapping your hands on your ears and saying, "I can't hear you!!!!" I still feel kinda silly doing it, but it is well worth feeling a little silly.

Oh, Trish!... Honey! Who you callin' beautiful? :eek:

You Plump... Sexy....Beautiful, Woman... Self, You!! :D

Thank you... (((((Trish))))) http://bestsmileys.com/love1/5.gif

**blushing... now when was the last time THAT happened? LOL**

I must have missed how you can see the result of them sometimes, and who's PMing whom and what they're saying. I don't know about that. Glad I don't send or receive many PM's. lol!

Didn't mean to confuse you, Trish. Okay, here's an example. Let's say you've were on the telephone talking with someone and you had a disagreement about something and then, "out of the blue," you got several calls from that person's friends talking to you about the same subject, you'd "know" that they had been talking about that conversation.
See?

I'm not able to use it because as a Mod, I need to be able to see all the PMs if necessary.

I have known Mods could see the PM's for a few years, at least they could on another forum where I was a mod. Frankly its was a deception to call it a Private Message, because it really wasnt LOL There were reasons for it, forenstance when someone is constantly
harassing someone, or hitting on all the woman etc, and people complain. Then you go look at the PM's to see if the complaints are justified. I suggest anything you have to say that you dont want anyone to see, you would be better to send them an e-mail ;)

Have never used it, I just ignore in my mind.

BUT, your post makes me wonder WhiteRose....I thought nobody could see personal messages except sender and receiver...this has been discussed here before and that is what I thought was told to us. Is this no longer correct?

That is still correct; Mods (and Admins for that matter) cannot read Agelesslove PM's that are not sent/forwarded to them. I suspect that Whiterose actually meant to type "posts" instead of "PM's"...which would make sense.

Reminds me.. remember http://bestsmileys.com/notlistening/2.gif, back in the day??

Hey... whatever works, right? (But, don't let me catch my kids doing that to me... no, sir!... ) LOL.

Exactly, Rose! LOL

I do not think I have any straws. I never felt like hitting the ignore button... I wonder if I am exhausting someone elses straws... :confused:

Sheila, you are lucky! I envy you.

Don't worry about "exhausting someone else's straws" .... I don't think it's that common. And, even if you do, so what? Sometimes people just clash.

I have known Mods could see the PM's for a few years, at least they could on another forum where I was a mod. Frankly its was a deception to call it a Private Message, because it really wasnt LOL There were reasons for it, forenstance when someone is constantly
harassing someone, or hitting on all the woman etc, and people complain. Then you go look at the PM's to see if the complaints are justified. I suggest anything you have to say that you dont want anyone to see, you would be better to send them an e-mail ;)

This is what I get for posting while I'm on a conference call at work. I did not mean that I can see PMs!!!!!! I meant POSTS.

There is absolutely no way whatsoever I can see anyone's PM's except my own.

LOL, Whiterose! You sure did stir up some excitement here!

I'm so sorry! I about fell outta this chair when I read Charo's post tonight. I didn't even go back and re-read my post this afternoon like I usually do.

But, I do solemnly swear, I CANNOT READ ANYONE'S PM!!!! Both words (PM and posts) start with a P. My feeble, overloaded brain can't mult-task as well as it used to.

You are forgiven! (I was just kidding about stirring up excitement. If you read another of the posts, somebody already said that you must have meant "posts" and "PM" was a typo.)

I have never used the ignore feature....maybe we should do a spinoff poll to see how many people are using it. :p

I don't use the ignore feature either. Never have, at any forum. I'm just too curious to do something like that. It would bug me constantly if I thought I was missing out.

But this thread is making wonder if anyone is ignoring me. :eek:

Ignore, ingore, ignore, ignore. OK, that takes care of those four - and only one of the people on this thread are on my ignore list! Can you guess??? :p

Awww come on Kristin!! Who's your buddy? Who's your pal? I am aren't I? :p :D :rolleyes:

have two posters on my ignore list and not AT ALL curious to read any of their posts

OK, you guys need to quit quoting the people on my ignore list - it's defeating the purpose! LOL!! :p

I'm sorry, did someone say something?

OK... I tried this out just for grins.... well, I don't like it. If you really wanted to ignore the person, you can't.... their name still appears and a box where they posted that says you can't see it because they are on your ignore list... what's the point? If you didn't like the person, it would still be annoying to see all that. :p

lol. That's funny, still seeing their name in a box, but not seeing what they wrote.
Like Kristin, said... you DO see what they wrote when someone else quotes them. Like her, I'm not happy about that either. The ignore feature definitely needs tweaking.

3. Don't like the person and then keep on not liking them: it happens, too bad.
Got that right... such is life.


ooh, yes, back to the "ignore" function. I never know. I could miss out on a good thing by totally ignoring someone. (?) (in real life and in web forums too)
That heavily depends on why you felt you needed to ignore them to begin with....no?....LOL.

I was wondering if anyone knows where I might be able to find an "ignore person" button for irl people...I need one that has the following functions:

1) Ignore ignorant and rude comments about age and age gap relationships
2) Ignore know it alls and people who don't give anything or anyone the benefit of the doubt before placing judgement
3) Ignore rude sarcastic remarks made about age portrayed as "jokes" ....come on people...sure it's ONLY a "joke"... :rolleyes:
4)Ignore people who don't want to do their job and then blame us for not doing it for them
5)Ignore LAZY people
6)Ignore STUPID people
7)Ignore negative people
8)Ignore people who suck away our energy

Think that covers it for now...so all I need to do is find me one of them there ignore buttons...and my life will be "all better" lol :)

Kathyw, who would be left????? Only kidding.

Although I haven't been here very much (got that flu/cold nasty old thing), the few times I've been back, I am still very happy with my choice.

Yes, (to everyone that said they would feel like they were missing something if they put someone on "ignore") I COMPLETELY understand, but it is well worth the peace.

I agree that we can learn something from everyone. I have learned to use the "ignore" option. This isn't a negative thing for me - it's positive - it's something that I do for myself to improve the quality of my life.

I'm so sorry! I about fell outta this chair when I read Charo's post tonight. I didn't even go back and re-read my post this afternoon like I usually do.

But, I do solemnly swear, I CANNOT READ ANYONE'S PM!!!! Both words (PM and posts) start with a P. My feeble, overloaded brain can't mult-task as well as it used to.
Sorry whiterose, just to clear the record, I have no idea how things work on this board so Im not saying MODS here can read all the PMs or do.
I was just saying that they could and did at a place where I was a MOD, and as a precaution if anyone was worried at a forum as to weither or not their PMs were read, send an e-mail. Glad you cleared it up as to Ageless. :D........and glad you didnt fall out of your chair LOL

Any administrator that would install coding to make it possible for those in power to read PM's...is a spineless jelly fish. They give those in IT or in webmastering, a bad name...and should never be allowed on the internet, much less near a freaking computer.

I agree completely with that Dan. Private, should mean Private. I guess some people just like to have their nose where it doesnt belong.
One reason I left that site. ;)

Any administrator that would install coding to make it possible for those in power to read PM's...is a spineless jelly fish. They give those in IT or in webmastering, a bad name...and should never be allowed on the internet, much less near a freaking computer.

whoa, who did that??? thank goodness no one pm's me EVA!! anywhere lol