How many of you....? (50-mile rule book has me thinking)

How many of you worry about infidelity with your partner? I know my man LOVES me, but sometimes I must admit that I wonder if he would cheat or if he ever has cheated. A one night discretion here or there would be really hard for me to find out about. Not that I dwell on it, but when such topics come up, it makes me wonder. I don't think he would go out and intentionally find somebody else to be with, but what if the situation presented itself? He goes out with his friends once in a while, and I know some of them are living "the single life". I just wonder if he ever got tempted into something. I know a lot of people take the "What they don't know, won't hurt them approach". The previous post just makes me think. Maybe my age has me double guessing myself? :confused: We aren't married yet, he lives about 5 hours away from me in TX. I know he used to have his wild times too. Is it easier for females to be faithful? I don't see myself ever even being tempted. I go out with the girls from my office once in a while and do get hit on. It's flattering, but I have never even considered taking any of the men up on their offers. I won't even let anybody buy me a drink, because I would feel guilty. My guy is everything that I want. Even when he isn't physically with me, I don't want for anything else. Just look forward to the days we do spend together. Do any of you have these insecurities? Do any of you guys or girls get temtped? :confused:

I've never been tempted. I believe he's faithful. There is no question in my mind that we share the same moralistic approach to fidelity.

Have you had any discussions about fidelity with your guy? Are you just wondering about his faithfulness or has there been something to cause your concern?

I've never been tempted. I believe he's faithful. There is no question in my mind that we share the same moralistic approach to fidelity.

Have you had any discussions about fidelity with your guy? Are you just wondering about his faithfulness or has there been something to cause your concern?


We have talked about our past experiences with infidelity, and how we both have been a victim of it. I am just wondering because of the discussion earlier I think. Some of the arguements made about biological reason, etc. lead one to question if we ever really know for sure. It seems as though if there is some science behind our behavior in relation to infidelity, one may do what they are "biologically" tempted to do, and yet be inclined to hide the behavior, as it is not socially acceptable. Which presents the question: "Do you ever really know somebody?"

But no, he has never given me any real reason not to trust him. :)

We have talked about our past experiences with infidelity, and how we both have been a victim of it. I am just wondering because of the discussion earlier I think. Some of the arguements made about biological reason, etc. lead one to question if we ever really know for sure. It seems as though if there is some science behind our behavior in relation to infidelity, one may do what they are "biologically" tempted to do, and yet be inclined to hide the behavior, as it is not socially acceptable. Which presents the question: "Do you ever really know somebody?"

But no, he has never given me any real reason not to trust him. :)

Is monogamy actually beneficial to you? How will he know how good you are without comparisons? He may find that the grass is not really greener...

If I had to worry about my boyfriend cheating on me I would just hang it up. I'm done with the worrying, having gone through with it for years with my ex. Now, however, I want to enjoy living my life. I have enough on my plate to cope with without worrying about infidelity. Nor would I want him to have to worry about such a thing with me. Heck, now that I'm no longer a waitress I enjoy just being at home with him.

I try not to worry about things before they happen. Worrying without a good reason only makes life difficult for both. I never worried about any of my SO-s cheating on me. Always enjoyed spending some time alone or with my friends when they went out with their friends, if they had a little fling on the way I never found out and it's much better that way. If they cheated seriously and that's something that happened also, I sensed it very quickly, I knew I was with the wrong guy or something had gone wrong in our relationship, we broke up and I kept a good memmory of the good times we spent together before things turned into vinegar. In short, as long as things are smooth between the two of you, there's absolutely no reason to worry.

If I had to worry about my boyfriend cheating on me I would just hang it up.

I am with Lynn on this. :)

I notice that Loucine (for one, maybe there are others) sounds like she'd be fine with the idea of her guy having a small "fling" as long as she doesn't know. Something like that would not be ok with me. I want the same amount of loyalty as he gets from me, period.

But, this is excellent advice: I try not to worry about things before they happen. Worrying without a good reason only makes life difficult for both.

It can also end up creating the very issue you're worrying about.

One thing though - if you are in a long distance relationship, cheating worries can be magnified. I recommend the Long Distance forum on this site for anyone who is dealing with that. We started out as LD and my man never showed the slightest sign that I needed to worry, so I didn't. Other guys' styles may give other impressions, each person has to assess who they are dealing with as carefully as they can while knowing LD is just an imperfect medium for creating loyalty. If he wants yours, he should make an effort to demonstrate his own.