How to break up nicely

I know that there is not good way to break off a relationship but I dont want to hurt my OM. He has taught me a lot but he has also tried to hold me down. I think we both need time away from each other and maybe we can come back and still work things out. I dont want time away from him becaues I found someone but because I want to find myself again. But what is the best way of saying this without saying, "It's not you its me" or "If I was only a little more mature"...you know what I mean.

I know that there is not good way to break off a relationship but I dont want to hurt my OM. He has taught me a lot but he has also tried to hold me down. I think we both need time away from each other and maybe we can come back and still work things out. I dont want time away from him becaues I found someone but because I want to find myself again. But what is the best way of saying this without saying, "It's not you its me" or "If I was only a little more mature"...you know what I mean.


...just start dating other people and go on with your life...don't 'say' anything, and don't 'break up'...your actions will speak louder than words...

Breaking up is never easy, or nice. If he loves you, you will cause pain. But it is worse to stay with somebody just because you are sorry for them while you are not happy yourself.

If you care for him you owe him respect and honesty and that is why you are breaking up with him and not following Orns advice, which would be the easy but cruelest way.

It is funny, because TODAY, I just wrote out for my oldest daughter what to say on the phone to someone she needed to "break up" with. It went like this:

"Hello, John? (said somewhat slowly) Hi! Listen, I need to let you know about a decision that I have made. I have decided to let go of our friendship and relationship. I have some other things that I need to focus on and take care of. I really appreciate all that you have done for me and shared with me. It is not about you, but it is about me and my growth. I hope you can understand..."


Pause......... he then asked her if he did something wrong.....

She then just repeated "I just have some other things that I need to focus on, John, and take care of. I don't want to discuss them right now but I really appreciate all the you have done for me and shared with me." "Please take care of yourself......I am sorry, I have to go now... bye".

This guy was being very pushy and controlling. She tried backing off graciously and not see him so often but he just did not get it. The above conversation worked out just fine. Just an idea..... Good luck!

TELL HIM THE TRUTH, trust me thats all you need to do. Then perhaps later down the road, if the grass was'nt as green as you thought. You might still be friends and willing to give it another try. I usually dont post on this kind of site, stumbled on it trying to answer my own questions. I was told x amount of reasons why, then it's me, I can only be by myself to work things out. I believed her all the way till I passed her and another guy. I really loved her, now I'm just heart broken, and think everything she said was a lie. I value truth or honesty in a person probably more than anything else. Maybe try to stay in touch somewhat, and it wont be so painful, but I doubt it.