Younger men suck

I'm finally over my 3 year relationship with this moron. Thank you for all your support... you all are great, insightful, and I wish you the best with your love's. But this dude just used me and abused me. The sex was great, but sorry, that's not everything, and it took me forever to figure that out. He was not mature, intellectually inferior, and to be honest, it just got old! Thank God I'm over that. It was a lesson in knowing who I am and what I deserve, and if it means being alone for the rest of my life in contrast to the "thrill" I always felt with him, then so be it, I shall be alone, and survive, and find a way to live happy without all that turmoil! I think I finally grew up!

I'm finally over my 3 year relationship with this moron. Thank you for all your support... you all are great, insightful, and I wish you the best with your love's. But this dude just used me and abused me. The sex was great, but sorry, that's not everything, and it took me forever to figure that out. He was not mature, intellectually inferior, and to be honest, it just got old! Thank God I'm over that. It was a lesson in knowing who I am and what I deserve, and if it means being alone for the rest of my life in contrast to the "thrill" I always felt with him, then so be it, I shall be alone, and survive, and find a way to live happy without all that turmoil! I think I finally grew up!

Do we really suck?!! LOL! ;) :p

I'm glad you got rid of a creep and I hope you move on to bigger and better things.

Remember, there are smart, sensitive, caring younger men out there. You just have to be more discriminating in who you let into your life.

I totally agree that "great sex" is simply not enough.

Good luck!

Remember, there are smart, sensitive, caring younger men out there. You just have to be more discriminating in who you let into your life.



Exactly. There are decent men of all ages out there and it's not their age that makes them decent.

I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you.

...He was not mature, intellectually inferior, and to be honest, it just got old...

Sezeq,
The ending of a relationship is never easy even when it's a bad relationship. Remember if you find yourself in love again, even older men can be immature, intellectually inferior and they too can just get old. The beauty of time is that it gives us a chance to focus on what we really want verses what we are suppose to have.

Good for you, SuzeQ! Only the best for the best!

Personally I think it's unfair to label ALL younger men as 'bad' simply because you have a negative experience with one.

As others have said, men of all ages could be as you have described.

IMO, you shouldn't tar everyone with the same brush because of one bad time.

Suzeq:
Beg to differ,I myself a YM feel somewhat hurt by your words.Do feel your pain,tho the're some good YM's out there.Being hurt by one,dont make us all bad.There's a old saying..."The're always a bad apple in the basket".And yes Suzeq,I myself have been hurt by OW.
Whiterose,and Silkybunny65:
Thank yall for the kind words.They help me feel somewhat better.
Harrison:
Your words speak volmues....Great words.



The Shadow

It's easy to be angry and frustrated over a bad breakup. I wish for you a time when you look back on your time with your ex ym as a nothing. When you feel no pain, no longing and no grief. I feel that is sometimes the best outcome, when people been in a bad relationship, and finally get out and move on.

Ali

Don't worry guys - those of us with good ym still love ya! She's lashing out from the pain. In time, it will subside.

Good for you, Sezeq, to know when enough is enough. You must do what's best for you. I hope you find true love again soon.

I'm finally over my 3 year relationship with this moron. Thank you for all your support... you all are great, insightful, and I wish you the best with your love's. But this dude just used me and abused me. The sex was great, but sorry, that's not everything, and it took me forever to figure that out. He was not mature, intellectually inferior, and to be honest, it just got old! Thank God I'm over that. It was a lesson in knowing who I am and what I deserve, and if it means being alone for the rest of my life in contrast to the "thrill" I always felt with him, then so be it, I shall be alone, and survive, and find a way to live happy without all that turmoil! I think I finally grew up!

And that's what our experiences are for... our growth. Now, when you let go of the emotion concerning that bad relationship you'll know you've truly put it behind you.

I second what Kristin says you guys, just consider the source. Sezeq is just hurting right now. My ym is far more mature than my ex ever was.

I think in time you'll find that he was just a person that was not right for you. That does not mean all y/m are bad. It just means that you and he were not meant to be together and its good that you realized it and you're taking the steps to move on with your life.


Life is full of experiences and lessons. Treat yourself nice and something positive will come your way.

Best of luck to you.

I'm finally over my 3 year relationship with this moron. Thank you for all your support... you all are great, insightful, and I wish you the best with your love's. But this dude just used me and abused me. The sex was great, but sorry, that's not everything, and it took me forever to figure that out. He was not mature, intellectually inferior, and to be honest, it just got old! Thank God I'm over that. It was a lesson in knowing who I am and what I deserve, and if it means being alone for the rest of my life in contrast to the "thrill" I always felt with him, then so be it, I shall be alone, and survive, and find a way to live happy without all that turmoil! I think I finally grew up!


Sorry about what happened with your YM. But they are not all like that.
Age has nothing to do with it. Whether a man is 20, 30 or 40 if he is an ***** he will be no matter his age.
Right now you need to just let time do the healing.
But I do understand your pain.
Faith47

But this dude just used me and abused me. The sex was great, but sorry, that's not everything, and it took me forever to figure that out.


........................what can I possibly add?

Reminds me of one episode of WKRP in Cincinnati....

Everyone is giving u wonderful advice. I want u to know that I dated an older guy for 2 1/2 years who used me etc., despite my tearful pleas for commitment and otherwise making a complete a** out of myself!!! So, yes even older guys can be royal jerks and use you. Scr** this guy! Don't worry, you'll meet someone new and in the meantime just work on yourself, take care! Annie.

It's not the age honey, it's the man. I just walked away from my ym because he doesn't "need" someone in his life, but it was the most wonderful experience I have ever had. I will always cherish the memories . . . .

Take the good with you, dump the rest and move on!

I am cringing at most of these posts. Ya gotta be kidding. You read a post on the internet about younger men who suck and you get hurt? Come on. And I'm not hurt anymore... I hurt for 2 out of 3 years.

And... this relationship ended 6 months ago. Yep, still thinking about it becuz it was my last. I'm convinced I'll never be involved again. I SUCK at men, picking them. I have never had a good one. I married one and it took me 20 yrs to get out of it, then I picked another looser, younger than I was when I got married. Forget it. I have given up. Yeah I had my little thrill but I paid big time. It's sad, it's lonesome, and I'm not getting used to it. I just know better. Men have screwed me up one side and down the other. I have no more faith left in me.

There have to be other ways to be happy. I'm trying to find another path.

Suzequ,
Dont give up.Just be honest with yourself.Yes...right now,you are hurting...I feel your pain.There are still some good YM's out there.Dont let this one spoil for rest of us...please.
Just take some time to heal.Yes some times it takes awhile...just remember...Be honest with yourself.I found at times,writing down what you would want to find in a S/O.Again be honest...
Stick around...countine to post...ask questions.Who knows...after you are healed.You may find someone here,that just totaly knocks you off your feet.


((((HUGS))))
The Shadow

I am cringing at most of these posts. Ya gotta be kidding. You read a post on the internet about younger men who suck and you get hurt? Come on. And I'm not hurt anymore... I hurt for 2 out of 3 years.

And... this relationship ended 6 months ago. Yep, still thinking about it becuz it was my last. I'm convinced I'll never be involved again. I SUCK at men, picking them. I have never had a good one. I married one and it took me 20 yrs to get out of it, then I picked another looser, younger than I was when I got married. Forget it. I have given up. Yeah I had my little thrill but I paid big time. It's sad, it's lonesome, and I'm not getting used to it. I just know better. Men have screwed me up one side and down the other. I have no more faith left in me.

There have to be other ways to be happy. I'm trying to find another path.

Well you're obviously still feeling the hurt otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread.

And you've got a lot of anger involved. To be honest, you can have any emotion you want, but when you post a thread like this here, people are going to want to respond to you. You convey hurt/anger and that is what we are addressing.

I am cringing at most of these posts. Ya gotta be kidding. You read a post on the internet about younger men who suck and you get hurt? Come on. And I'm not hurt anymore... I hurt for 2 out of 3 years.

And... this relationship ended 6 months ago. Yep, still thinking about it becuz it was my last. I'm convinced I'll never be involved again. I SUCK at men, picking them. I have never had a good one. I married one and it took me 20 yrs to get out of it, then I picked another looser, younger than I was when I got married. Forget it. I have given up. Yeah I had my little thrill but I paid big time. It's sad, it's lonesome, and I'm not getting used to it. I just know better. Men have screwed me up one side and down the other. I have no more faith left in me.

There have to be other ways to be happy. I'm trying to find another path.

Some of my women friends have terrible taste in men. They pick the worst men possible. Tip: have a male friend pick someone for you, then work to try to like him. DO NOT pick anyone on your own.

You think you're unique? I have been celibate for 30 years...because most women suck!!!!!!

I am cringing at most of these posts. Ya gotta be kidding. You read a post on the internet about younger men who suck and you get hurt? Come on.

Well I can't speak for others, but I don't feel particularly hurt. But I am however acutely aware of the fact that if a YM came here after a bad relationship with an OW and started off his post by saying "Older women suck" he would (quite rightly) get thoroughly flamed for it.

Not to be rude, but exactly what did you think you would accomplish by coming to a message board that's supposed to be a supportive environment for people in age gap relationships (or who used to be, like myself) and declaring that all younger men suck? What did you think people would say? That all of us YM here would chime in and say "Yeah, Suze I totally agree with you. We ARE a rotten bunch, every single one of us!" or the OW who are in relationships with YM to say "Yeah, right on. I've been dating a YM for a while now, and he sucks so much that I'm still with him today! You're right, YM really DO suck!" :rolleyes:


And... this relationship ended 6 months ago. Yep, still thinking about it becuz it was my last. I'm convinced I'll never be involved again. I SUCK at men, picking them. I have never had a good one. I married one and it took me 20 yrs to get out of it, then I picked another looser, younger than I was when I got married. Forget it. I have given up. Yeah I had my little thrill but I paid big time. It's sad, it's lonesome, and I'm not getting used to it. I just know better. Men have screwed me up one side and down the other. I have no more faith left in me.

On the plus side, this shows at least you're honest and have at least some amount of insight self-knowledge to realize that you have some issues of your own. A lot of people who have repeated problems with the opposite sex never come to realize this that if you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is you." (Gratuitous HBI reference again!) A lot of people never grow up and admit this, but you have and you've taken that first important step to recovery and meaningful change in your life. :)

This is your broken heart speaking. You just need time to heal.
Believe me, I have been having one relationship disaster after another for a long time . Been alone for awhile now because now I KNOW what I want and dont want and I wont go for less than that.
Like you I was always picking the wrong kind of guy. I am not saying I am picking the right kind now since I have been alone for awhile. But, with my experience, if I feel something isnt right with a guy than I wont pursue it. I'll stop. It comes naturally now. Call it intuition, gut feeling. But I listen to my heart now.
But it took me awhile to get there.
I think I told you before, time is the answer and for now if you feel you want to be alone, than thats what you need to do. Heal yourself, find some hobbies that you like that relaxes you.
There is no magical potion to this.
Try to educate yourself with books also. Its a good way to learn and understand.
Just an advice.
"Hug"
Faith47

Aw, Faith47, what a nice, gentle, caring post.

Aw, Faith47, what a nice, gentle, caring post.

:o thanks Chatterbox.
Faith47

All your posts make sense in a way. Thank you so much. Why would I come here saying younger men suck? Sorry for the outbreak... it was just a generalization, a sort of blatent statement screaming out.... because I was in it for so long, and I was very hurt. I definately don't want to offend those of you who are in great relationships with YM.

I really don't feel like I'll ever be in a relationship again, and again, that's ok. I think I'll die alone, even changed my will, making sure my animals are taken care of... I'm just convinced I have the worst taste in men. BTW, what a good idea, getting another man to critique my attraction... if I ever get attracted again? It's a great suggestion.... I am just so done. Not asking for suggestions or sympathy. I have found a way to be alone... it's so much better than the tumoil I've always had after the lust, excitement and denial I was in before. That's all I was screaming out to say. Yes, sometimes I still hurt, but it passes, and that's one gift of getting older, you realize it all passes, and you move on!
Suzeq

All your posts make sense in a way. Thank you so much. Why would I come here saying younger men suck? Sorry for the outbreak... it was just a generalization, a sort of blatent statement screaming out.... because I was in it for so long, and I was very hurt. I definately don't want to offend those of you who are in great relationships with YM.

I really don't feel like I'll ever be in a relationship again, and again, that's ok. I think I'll die alone, even changed my will, making sure my animals are taken care of... I'm just convinced I have the worst taste in men. BTW, what a good idea, getting another man to critique my attraction... if I ever get attracted again? It's a great suggestion.... I am just so done. Not asking for suggestions or sympathy. I have found a way to be alone... it's so much better than the tumoil I've always had after the lust, excitement and denial I was in before. That's all I was screaming out to say. Yes, sometimes I still hurt, but it passes, and that's one gift of getting older, you realize it all passes, and you move on!
Suzeq

Suzeq,
I believe everyone that have read your post do know you didnt really mean it. That it was out of hurt. We were tryng to just give you some hope.
Well, personally I hear you. If this is how you feel now than its how you feel and I understand.
Only thing that truly matters is that you can be happy again.
"hug"
Faith

What a great name, Faith. I took in all your posts. You sound very sincere, and I'm greatful. Thanks for the time you spent responding... there really are good people out there. It's a good sisterhood feeling. Thanks. Suzeq

do we really? :( or is it the opposite? ;)

Suzeq,

I relate to your post even though I have never been married. I used to carry a lot of bitterness towards men...well for me, of all ages, since I was treated pretty badly from the age of 15 (when I first started dating) to my 30s. My first real boyfriend loved me greatly and was very honest. He went back to Germany and I found not one man as honest as this guy, nor capable of deep feelings. The fact that guy as young as he was just took one month to get over me back home (he was a foreign exchange student) affected me more than I thought it did. In fact when I was 33, I found him on the internet in a German article and I e-mailed him in very bad caveman German (as he used to call my German). Turns out he had been married for 10 years so I told him "God bless you and yours" pretty much and he said "and I wish good things for you too". I never wrote him again and he did not ever to me either. That was 4 years ago.

After I became religious in 1997, I met a guy in 1999 that I dated for a year who was a deacon. Sadly, I thought this meant he would not break my heart. He fell out of love with me...so I broke up with him. Within 3 months, he was engaged. He is now married.

I decided that I have no discernment when it comes to men. None. I see a pair of pretty blue eyes and I lose all judgement it seems. So when I became a member of my current church, I asked the elders to please do me a favor...make sure that any man who asks me to marry him has to go through them. They agreed. My own dad does not want to help me out in that area (trust me, ex-bf deacon wanted to have serious talk with my dad when he was contemplating marriage and my dad declined!). That is why I did something that looks so backwards to people outside my church.

If you knew my history, you would see WHY I did that. It makes sense to me. My current flame knows that and if he decides to take the plunge, he will go through them, the ELDERS (play scary horror music here).

I don't know if this helps (my story) or not...but maybe you have father or mother figure...somebody in your life that a man would have to GO THROUGH before whatever (becoming boyfriend or in my case...husband)?

My bestest friend had me talk several times to her now husband before she totally trusted him. After 20 years of watching her pain (men treating her so bad she ended up in my apartment crying her eyes out many times)...she knew I would tell her THE TRUTH. She continues to kick my behind with men (and this one)...

I still though am glad I have...THE ELDERS to put the fear of God into ...
heheh

I am only now starting to trust my YM but it honestly took me talking to him from 2003 on...with one visiting time period till now to really believe he is who he says he is...plus talking to his dad. He ain't perfect but he is geniune, true blue, for real which is why I bother with the whole thing.

I had not been connected with anybody since 2000 till my current guy (7/2004 and on) since I honestly had so much bitterness in me to fight...I was happier alone. I still fight it from time to time.

The guys who screwed me over were all different ages...so age is not a factor.

I have to say though I honestly prefer younger men. Why? Because I find them more accepting of me. I am not the easiest type of woman to get along with...I am a strong personality know-it-all bossy wench (trying to reform)...and I also have high expectations sometimes. But current YM hangs in there better than guys who were older.
:o

What a great name, Faith. I took in all your posts. You sound very sincere, and I'm greatful. Thanks for the time you spent responding... there really are good people out there. It's a good sisterhood feeling. Thanks. Suzeq

Suzeq,
Thank you. Thats very sweet of you.
And I'm glad I was of some help. That was the idea ;)
I agree with you, this is a great place. Good people here.
And ou are very welcome :D
Faith

***************************

I do have a suggestion (been waiting for SOMETHING to COME TO ME! :D Thanks, Molly!) Suzeq, alter your thinking a bit to "THIS younger man sucked" so you can start to move yourself to this: "NEXT!"

One of the most remarkable women I ever met was in her 60's. She had had four previous husbands, all of whom beat her up bad physically but she had been happily married to her fifth husband for a long time and she said he was the sweetest, kindest man that she had ever met. "How did you keep going? How did you keep trying? What gave you that strength?" I asked. She answered very matter-of-factly, "I just knew I deserved better and I just knew there was better out there."

So Suzeq, don't beat yourself up for your bad choices, forgive yourself, and start telling yourself that you deserve better, there's better out there, and you're gonna find him!

BIG HUG!

YOUNGER MEN SUCK

Yep..some do..as well as some older men do...as well as some younger women ..as well as some older women ...some people just need to grow up Suzeq..no matter what their biological age is...I've seen people of all ages act in very immature and irrational ways...what sucks is the pain that people in this "stage" or whatever they choose to call it (personality type...eek...whatever the case may be)..I look at someone who is sucky and I think..damn..I'd hate to be that person..they must have a REALLY miserable life to be treating other people that way..and then I try to stay away from them..unless they decide they want to be nice..at that point..I usually evaluate if this person should have another chance to be nice..I really don't care if people are mean anymore..rude..or if they suck...again, my attitude is...they are just very unhappy..and it sounds as if the guy you were with didn't know his a--- from a hole in the ground.. if you know what I mean...he needs to grow up...but again, he may be (and chances are he probably will be) doing the same thing at the age of 45 as he is now...sad but true...some people (alot of people) just NEVER change.....it is what it is...as they say :(

Thank you all... again. What a wonderful, understanding group. You know, I was thinking about how easy it is to write about choices, and another to really live it. I liked the story about the 60yo woman who finally got it. And I thought, she made a choice to be happy, and I bet she would even if she never found the right partner. We base our society so much on finding a mate, everywhere we look everyone's looking in one way or another. I've lived my whole life on keeping my marriage going, or finding a man with the way I look or dress, or keeping my YM interested. A whole lot inbetween all that, but basically I've depended on men all my life. It's scary but enlightening, too, to realize this... to start living your life when it's just not all about a man.

I showed one of my horses in a national competition last week and we kicked butt! What a thrill. It's hard, but it's actually easier without being in a relationship! Suzeq

I'm not sure why we're jumping all over the OP here. Basically because we've all said "guys suck" once or twice. Me included.

We've all had bad experiences with the opposite sex at one time or another. I've certainly had my share of bad experiences with women, like most guys. But I don't recall ever thinking that all women suck because of it. (Not saying I never thought it, I just don't remember) And if I did, I certainly had the sense not to say it aloud in mixed company. Because it's not as socially unacceptable for women to say these things about men, but when men say these things about women, we get called misogynists. Double standards by gender are by no means a one-way street.


Anyway, Suze. Sorry if I came to heavy on you. Because you've definitely shown us now that you're a person of integrity and maturity. You will find the right guy, sooner or later. (Hopefully sooner!) :)

Thank you Niall, you give me hope. :)