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06-02-2005, 01:42 AM
I have a difficult issue that I need advice on...I am a high school teacher but am about to leave the profession to go back to school. I am 29 and have never in my life been attracted to someone younger than myself. In fact, I normally date people much older. After seven years teaching, I find myself inexplicably, undeniably attracted to a student. I have resisted and deflected the attraction and, in fact, completely denied it even existed for a year and a half now. I have felt horribly guilty and ashamed of the attraction but have finally come to terms with the fact that I do feel this way about him. He is 17 and soon to be eighteen in two weeks. He just graduated and since then we have had a much more friendly relationship. It's completely aboveboard, no flirting, no insinuation...however, there is distinct and clear tension and the hovering possiblity of something. It scares me. The more so beacuse it is so mind-driven and not physical. We email almost everyday about literature and life. It feels somehow more intimate than mere flirting. I suppose I would categorize it as a "meeting of the minds" and it's rare for me to feel that way about anybody. I feel, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, that I could fall in love with him. I don't know what to do...soon he will leave for university and I will move as well and I suppose at that point distance will take care of it. But I must confess the thought of losing him from my life is a heart-breaking one and a part of me wants to do something to keep him connected to me. The question is should I pursue anything? Let it go? He's so young....Thanks for reading!