Okay ...Weird Realization last night

this is not meant to be a knock on you women out there..

of course all you do is sit there looking pretty and basically decide when a guy comes you like..you decide you know what..

but like I said this is not a knock of women thread...

It about this strange realization that
it seems that although this good looking beauty is with me, is that somehow I provide for her some sense of security ...or afford for her..a sense of not having to dealing with things...for example..

if something did happen, I provide for her the confidence, that I will be able to take care of everything ...

I think that we are bartering this exact security that we men offer in turn for being able to be with a good looking attractive women..

Its not that we are superman all the time, its as simple as this

when there is a crucial time when time tests ones courage..in that crucial time , she needs a man who can take action in and if such a crucial time occurs. ..she doesn't want a man who will wale over and run home to mommy. She wants a 'man'.. think Ramseys in the 'ten commandments'...think the male lead in 'the last of the mohicans'..

In the movie 'the ten commandments' Ramseys in the face of immimency of defeat..stands up to mesiah and tells him still that he will be defiant and keep the jews as slaves.

That confidence to say, I will not be giving up this throne. .. IS the VERY REASON that he belongs in the throne in the first place. the very Reason he decides to fight against an immiment more powerful oppopent is the VERY REASON that he belongs in the throne in the first place.

And a woman probably doesn't need that extragance, but nevertheless it is this trait of a 'king' that is our most valuable thing we can give to a woman in return for what she provides us.

She wants someone who will be able to 'keep the power'..who will be able to 'fight the problems when they arise'..in essense a "A Man of ACTION".not all the time, just in the crucial time when SUCH A WARRIOR OR KING is TESTED does his true colors comes out..

For some reason, a literally a woman can sense this almost like a dog can smell fear....its very strange...

Let me know if you know think this..

Personally, I would agree with what you are saying. I know that all of the men I have dated have been far older than me, and have always been men in a position of power (my boss, a lead architect at a firm, and my current is an executive in a Fortune 500 company). I love the idea of a man who can take charge and who knows his way around life enough to see and understand opportunity.

Men who are younger tend to not have any direction in life and are scared off by confident women (not all of course, as the other side of this site proves). But, in my experience, the younger men just need some time to mature and gain goals and the ability to acheive them.

And, a bonus to me, they are ready to settly down, where younger men are notorious for wanting to wait and fully experience their younger years. I have, on the other hand, am more than ready for marriage and a full long-term committment.

this is not meant to be a knock on you women out there..

of course all you do is sit there looking pretty and basically decide when a guy comes you like..you decide you know what..

but like I said this is not a knock of women thread...

It about this strange realization that
it seems that although this good looking beauty is with me, is that somehow I provide for her some sense of security ...or afford for her..a sense of not having to dealing with things...for example..

if something did happen, I provide for her the confidence, that I will be able to take care of everything ...

I think that we are bartering this exact security that we men offer in turn for being able to be with a good looking attractive women..

Its not that we are superman all the time, its as simple as this

when there is a crucial time when time tests ones courage..in that crucial time , she needs a man who can take action in and if such a crucial time occurs. ..she doesn't want a man who will wale over and run home to mommy. She wants a 'man'.. think Ramseys in the 'ten commandments'...think the male lead in 'the last of the mohicans'..

In the movie 'the ten commandments' Ramseys in the face of immimency of defeat..stands up to mesiah and tells him still that he will be defiant and keep the jews as slaves.

That confidence to say, I will not be giving up this throne. .. IS the VERY REASON that he belongs in the throne in the first place. the very Reason he decides to fight against an immiment more powerful oppopent is the VERY REASON that he belongs in the throne in the first place.

And a woman probably doesn't need that extragance, but nevertheless it is this trait of a 'king' that is our most valuable thing we can give to a woman in return for what she provides us.

She wants someone who will be able to 'keep the power'..who will be able to 'fight the problems when they arise'..in essense a "A Man of ACTION".not all the time, just in the crucial time when SUCH A WARRIOR OR KING is TESTED does his true colors comes out..

For some reason, a literally a woman can sense this almost like a dog can smell fear....its very strange...

Let me know if you know think this..


This is not related to the point of your post:
I am a big fan of The Ten Commandments. Yul Brynner was well cast as Rameses II. I lean towards viewing the character as self indulgent and unfeeling. I see the character of Sethi I (played by Cedric Hardwicke) to have been a better example of restraint, wisdom, care, and loving guidance.

I know this is off topic as to your original point! I just had to pipe in about an entertaining film! By the way, see the feature length commentary on the recently released dvd. Also check out the two books written on the making of the film. One was by Katherine Orrison and the other by Henry Noerdlinger.

Yul Brynner was well cast as Rameses II. I lean towards viewing the character as self indulgent and unfeeling. I see the character of Sethi I (played by Cedric Hardwicke) to have been a better example of restraint, wisdom, care, and loving guidance.
I agree! And it was Rameses' unyeilding stubborness that destroyed that powerful image of him for Neferteri (that was her name, right?), and lead to the death of his only son... Yul Brenner is also HOT, btw, the best legs I've ever seen... :D

I know you said you are not trying to bash women, but I don't know about the sitting there looking pretty and then you know what... Yes, I am attracted to men who are confident, wise and capable of making good decisions and dealing with bad ones and wild cards ect... but not because I feel like it should compensate for my inability to do this with my own life because I just want a strong man to stand by. And everyone screws up in good share too. Maybe I am misunderstanding your post :confused:

It is wonderful to be 'rescued.' It is equally wonderful to be able to 'rescue' the man I love when he is in trouble. Or even if we both try to, anyway, when the other is in a bad spot!

I dated a guy for a few months, and towards the end it bacame clear that he was beginning to resent my independance and ability, even NEED, to make my own decisions about my own life without needing or even requesting his input or assistence. In fact, it was over between us when I told him I was quitting smoking-- he offered me one of his cigarettes and I refused. Then he punched me in my face for it (tried, but a failed punch is still a punch, he forgot I know how to fight, duh!). He wanted to sit on the throne for me. He wanted to have control over my decisions, and before then had tried to be affectionately heroic, he wanted to be the knight in shining armor that I looked up to. He always commented on how beautiful I was, that he was proud to be seen with me, ect. I should have clued in sooner. This is not attractive at all. He was very much like Rameses in The Ten Commandments-- his insecurity (Rameses had problems, remember, he was insecure and resentful that Moses was adopted but the Phaeroh's favorite and heir) lead to his increased control and then act of violence. I do not see my former boyfriend's aspirations to imply power, the opposite is true, even before he hit me but I just saw his need for that image as a personal flaw that being with a gal like me would either rub raw or help him get over it because I cared about him anyway. I believe a man can be powerful without ruling like he owns the throne, in fact, diplomacy is a greater challenge. And by my experiences, older men that I know have more sensitivity to the idea of diplomacy (but the opposite is also true, and taken person by person)-- like the concept that what is inflexible is also brittle and easily broken. But I may be misunderstanding your post- are you thinking about the importance of confidence in men for women, or thinking that women want a powerful monarch who makes their decisions and takes care of everything for them (could that also be a tyrant?)? I don't mean to be rude :confused:

I most definately want a man that can "take care of" me and take charge when its necessary.

That doesn't mean that I can't take care of myself, either. I have done a really good job of it for the past few years. I waltzed myself into a car dealership last year and purchased a car for way below dealer invoice, got great financing, and completely baffled the older male sales staff.

I built a deck on my home in two weekends, by myself, with my own power tools. I change my own oil. I vote. I do not need a man to make my decisions for me or to rescue me from the perils of everyday life and automobile maintainence. =)

I do, however, love it that my BF is more knowledgable than me. I love it that he knows more about everything than I do. I love it that he wants to protect me, shelter me from the evils of the outside world.

I know that if a Civil War broke out in this country tomorrow I would be safe because he would know exactly what to do.

But, I do a lot more than sit around and look pretty. I DO do my best to look pretty for him all the time, because I know how good it makes him feel to (in his words) "have every guy within sight staring at me and envying him for getting to go home with me".

But, just as he is my best friend I am his. We have deep conversations over black coffee and hershey's chocolate. He tells me his fears and his problems. I share with him the everyday drama of my menial job. We hold each other and comfort each other. We have entire conversations without ever saying a word. We laugh- a lot. We read the same books and spend hours discussing them. He proof reads my papers and I am his sounding board when he is troubleshooting a job.

My role in our relationship entails a lot more than just looking pretty, just as he is more that just my "protector".

As far as having to deal with things- yes! I have to deal with things. I want to. I don't want to sit on the sidelines while my man takes care of everything. But, I don't want to be the one that handles all of the big things by myself, either. Its a balancing act.

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Me, 19; him, 39