Im 21 she is 50.. but u would never guess

Hiya.. Pretty new to this so please bare with me.

Basically earlier this year I met an amazing Girl on the internet, completely by accident and we have never looked back since. We have met 3 times and see ourselves in a proper relationship.

When we first met we thought it would only ever be the once........ How wrong where we.. We are totally in love and im going to the city where she lives for the summer.

I am 21 and very mature and she is just turned 50. If you met her you would never even think she was over 35. Her personality is more of someone in their late 20s but at the same time really mature, and she is totally amazing. She has 3 children. the eldest being about 3 years younger than me and the other 2 much younger. She is single. I think over time the kids would accept it and already a few of her sisters know the truth and have come around to it really well. Also I aint scared of maybe in the future looking after children and stuff. not one bit

Although the age gap is massive we want to try and give us a chance and be honest if things just aint working. We know we will ALWAYS we great friends coz if we was to split it would probably be of age and not hard feelings.

The thing is should we fib about each others ages at first (the gap would still be pretty big on both sides) to people when they ask so that they get used to the gap first... realise we love each other and accept the truth later? but we both hate lies.. but is it maybe for the best?

Ill be honest that when I tell my family she is 'a bit' older than me im scared (maybe the wrong word) of the reaction... nevermind 29 years, BUT IT WONT PUT ME OFF. Do you think it might be best over time to edge the age thing in gently.
I already have a freind who thinks she is 35 and finds it cool.

I dont know why im on this really.. Of course its bugging me a little but thats coz we r apart at the moment. I suppose I just wanted to know what people who undestand think and have some people to talk to about it

fire your questions too . thanx for your understanding

WHY AM I EVEN WORRYING!!!!
now i feel like not posting this.... but i will

I don't think straight out lying is the way to go. Eventually the truth comes out either by accident or by your telling and it will make it seem like you are ashamed or have something to hide or perceived as a lack of maturity. I'd go with a need to know approach. Don't make an issue of the gap. If someone asks, matter-of-factedly tell the truth without letting it be an issue. Don't be ashamed, don't apologize. If others can't deal with it, it's their problem.

Family, you can't take such a cold approach, but hopefully once they get past the shock, they will be accepting and supportive when they see how happy you are together.

Have you talked to your woman about this? I'm sure she's feeling some of the same things you are. I know I did when I started telling people about the many I'm seeing who is 20 years younger than me. The two of you together should decide what to do, but I agree with Fly, and somehow I think your woman would too. Don' lie about. it Lieing is just never a good policy.

Welcome to the boards. Keep us "posted" - lol - I crack me up (good thing too coz I don't crack anyone else up!)

Yes we have discussed it.. Im more for the truth than she is.. but she has told the truth to her sisters. Its more the kids she wants to be carefull with.... I just dont know. Maybe when push comes to shove she will be honest and I will too. Are we worrying about nothing? :confused:

Not to sound like a broken record, I still think our children can accept the fact that we're doing something they might not necessarily agree with at first, far better than they would accept their parent lying to them. Worrying for nothing? To be honest it's hard to say without knowing the children. A lot of factors may come into it that may not even have anything to do with age. You'll hear stories from those whose children were totally accepting to those whose wouldn't or didn't at first but came to accept it later.

Personally, my children are both grown and living on their own, but I've never hidden my preference for younger men. I'm not with anyone in RT yet, but there is someone I'm very interested in online that I hope to see develop into something more in time, and I've already mentioned him and his age (20) in passing conversation to them. If they start to say anything against it, I just smile and say "get used to it". Of course I'm not saying that all children can be spoken to so casually... it works with me and mine. Only you two can decide the best way to approach the subject with them.

Hi, I just turned 50, he's 22 in a few weeks.

Take it from me, the only way to deal with this is to be totally up front, and matter of fact about it. If you two come across to others, her children included, as doing something you're ashamed of, that's the reaction you're going to get from people.

She covers it up from her children, she's going to have feelings popping all over her when they find out.

Now I'm not saying she has to go around announcing your age, that'd just be making a big deal out of it as well.

I know, very well, the squirm factor involved in a great big age gap. I've dealt with the drop jaw look a lot. But if you can cover it up, and use a blank look, only the truly rude would dare to take it further than that.

With my family, as well as his, we just said, this is what is, you don't have to approve, but you do have to accept, if you want me.

It's been four years now, and nobody we are close to can even imagine us not being together.

Practice matter of factness, and try to keep your sense of humor really intact, its the only way to make it.