no going back

Is it me or once you've had a taste of a YM it's hard to be attracted to older men. I find myself checking out YM all of the time now. Older men just don't do it for me anymore. Anyone???

Personally I have noticed once a man makes an impression on my heart and on my physical self that I begin to be attracted to other men who remind me of him.

Sometimes its an obvious characteristic which does it---EI; after dating a gorgeous cop who broke my heart I had this "thing" for tall blond muscular policemen and all the fetish/fantasies that go along with :p ....after getting dumped by a 6ft 5" YM I just wanted an EXTREMELY tall YM(and Im 5ft 1") Other times its more subtle.

I bet if you met an OM who knocked your socks off it would open the gates again, but maybe thats just me!
Besides, I looooooves me some YM!

Well, I think that it is only natural to be attracted to the best looking guys. However, if one thinks that "they" would not be attracted to 'us', then we sort of "don't notice" them anymore. They are invisible as a dating potential.

If you go look at personals, guys that are over 40... for the most part, don't look as cute as the younger ones of course. There are some exceptions... just like with the older women section.

When I found out that guys from younger age groups are even MORE likely to want to date me than guys who are in their 40-50's, then it is like Christmas for me!

PS... I would though, still be attracted to same age or older if the 'spark' was there. ;)

[QUOTE=yellowrose]Well, I think that it is only natural to be attracted to the best looking guys. However, if one thinks that "they" would not be attracted to 'us', then we sort of "don't notice" them anymore. They are invisible as a dating potential.

When I found out that guys from younger age groups are even MORE likely to want to date me than guys who are in their 40-50's, then it is like Christmas for me![QUOTE]
I agree with this. But here's what I don't understand, OM want YW, YM want OW, what's up with that? I agree with raven and you, yellow rose, that I would be open to a SAM (Similer Age Man - he he) if I met one whom I found attractive and interesting and who found the same in me, but I get more younger guys coming onto to me than older. Younger guys are probably more willing to take risks. They are still in that age group where they feel invinsible. I notice when I go out that the younger guys are just more fun, out on the dance floor with women of all ages, while the older guys sit at the bar and watch. It is a crazy mixed up world. Nothing like the world I grew up in . . .I wonder if every generation feels that way?

Well, I think that it is only natural to be attracted to the best looking guys. However, if one thinks that "they" would not be attracted to 'us', then we sort of "don't notice" them anymore. They are invisible as a dating potential.

This is so true, and I also think its attitude, what kind of attitude are we giving to the om that turns them naturally to yw who are basically more openminded, less cynical as are ym. I mean I hear on here how being with a ym is better because their attitudes are better, wouldn't that arguement be the same in om who date yw.

Yes, i do notice the ym notice me and I will only notice them if they are educated, well cultured and have a job, but those are my criteria even if he was my age. As a yw I noticed white guys alot, ...but compare to the guys i knew in the "hood", they were aspiring men who wanted to go places other than Puerto Rico, more so than what I grew up with. Is it only white guys i go for now, no...the climate here is changing...I'm finding hispanic guys who also want to climbs the steps of Machu Picchu and actually know where and what it is.

I mean we single out ym because we can get them, for the right now. Will that be the same case at 60/70/80 as visual as we claim men to be, regardless of how well we take care of ourselves...I wager those guys are a small minority, are we going to fight the ow for those same guys...nah...you can have him...but I rather find a guy who loves me unconditionally, and that could be young or that could be same age or older. Because I don't want to say that age has no boundaries because I do believe they do, when you claim you'll only date ym or yw or om or ow, but not as much as love and charity does.

Paris

Paris, couldn't have said it better. But, don't you think we get a little spoiled from being with those beautiful YM? I tried dating a guy about 20 years older than me and he couldn't get it up. It was awful. I ended up fixing him up with a woman that I know that's closer in age to him. They're happy. Same age could be ok, except that in their early 40's, most are divorced with messy lives or single with good reason.

Paris, couldn't have said it better. But, don't you think we get a little spoiled from being with those beautiful YM? I tried dating a guy about 20 years older than me and he couldn't get it up. It was awful. I ended up fixing him up with a woman that I know that's closer in age to him. They're happy. Same age could be ok, except that in their early 40's, most are divorced with messy lives or single with good reason.

Once again, I have to echo agreement. Sex is an obstacle with a lot of older men. Not all, but many. It becomes compounded when the man refuses to get medical attention.

Is it me or once you've had a taste of a YM it's hard to be attracted to older men. I find myself checking out YM all of the time now. Older men just don't do it for me anymore. Anyone???

Still working on this one. I'll get back to you when I've done a little more research. ;)

LMAO@Goddess

I've never been attracted to older men. For what it's worth, my friends say they think that it's because I want to control the men I date. I don't think young men are any easier to control than older ones. But the younger ones do seem to have a LOT less baggage.

I am one of the oldest females here, but I can attest that I have always been attracted to younger men. As a senior in college, I often dated younger; and I married a man 5 years younger in the '70's which almost caused a scandal. I prefer them now for all the reasons everyone has mentioned (and have thought about the control part too, but then discounted it)... esp. the fact that to most SAM's (I love that term, Deb!) I am invisible. I love the energy and sexual energy of younger men; plus the fact that they seem to be more open to do new things and have that attitude that life is still all before them and want to enjoy the ride. However, I alway wondered if our SAM's are looking for those same qualities in yw as Paris pointed out, why can't they see that we want the same thing and want us?However with that said, I also agree with Paris that there more than likely will be a cut off when our visual selves really do change (and this has been debated many, many times on here, so we will not begin that again, I hope). But what I also want to say is that what we consider younger depends on our age too. I mean, I consider men in their 30's to be ym, while SG may not as she is in her 30's right now. I would not consider a man who is 50 to be a ym like I would have when I was 24 and married my 19 year old. Younger means YOUNGER...so the gap becomes bigger as I get older!

But I would like to address one more issue that deals with what Faith47 had written in another thread about female members now being so young that she felt old, I have felt that way for years as the membership has changed long before this, and as I age, a person in his/her 30's is the younger one; hence I think this site older women/younger men is really a misnomer as 30's is not really what we consider "older" by any stretch of the imagination.... not like 50+... these women are just the older partners....and that has been my take on all of this for years!

After what I went through with that Youngster.......

Im Tainted........;)

-------------------------------------------

tinkabell...i love your posts...

DSpringtinkabell...i love your posts...

Oh,,......thanx......Springs.......:)


----------------------------

SB is absolutely right.....the term "Older Woman" is very much a misnomer here at Ageless. I've observed most of the recent "older women/younger men" relationships to be with women in their 30's and men in their late teens/early 20's. First of all, I don't think of that as a major age gap, and second of all, I definitely don't consider women in their 30's as "older".



Thanks, Trish! I definitely agree with that... I'm 31 and don't really think of myself as "older" at all, especially since some of the "younger men" around the board are actually older than I am. :D

But a rose is a rose...

If you go look at personals, guys that are over 40... for the most part, don't look as cute as the younger ones of course. There are some exceptions... just like with the older women section.

Maybe for you!

I actually find mature physical features of older men to be very attractive and "cute."

I just happened to have fallen for the first time for a young man who, well, looks as young as he is.

I'm wild about him and everything about him rocks my world but I'm looking forward to him growing older and sharing the experience of observing his physical features maturing with age. :)

I guess I always took the 'Older' and 'Younger' to be relative to each other and not relative to others of the same gender.

I guess I always took the 'Older' and 'Younger' to be relative to each other and not relative to others of the same gender.

Exactly...it has to do with our relative ages in our relationships, has nothing to do with our actual age. No matter how old we are or are not, I will always be an Older Woman relative to my honey.

I mean...a 72 year old woman with a 91 year old boyfriend would belong on the YW/OM side, just as a 30 year old woman dating a 19 year old guy belongs right here.

...and oh yeah, I am one for whom there was also no going back. I was never particularly interested in *older* guys anyway, my ex-h (11 years older) was a departure from my previously same-age dating. But after I got old enough to be "older" myself and started dating younger...I've found it sure works for me. :D

I agree SG, hence older "partner or SO" or whatever would be better, for when a gender follows the word, I think it changes the meaning of the phrase even though WE here understand its meaning moreso. If one were to take a poll in regards to what age is a "younger man" and/or an "older woman" in general, I am sure that the ages stated would not coincide with many of our couples here, so I have to also disagree with Goldie in regards to her comment about a 30 year old and the 19 year old as fitting the term, but NOT the other example of a 72 and 91 year old. Just a comment and my opinion~ and a topic that will never be resolved as people look at things differently and think they are right!

Personally, while I have no problems with the age gap between me and Litical (now), if he were to dump me (cuz, no WAY would I be dumping HIM over anything... cuz :eek: WOW... MMmmm) ~ I seriously, seriously doubt I would actively pursue dating YM...

Probably because I've never actively pursued dating anyone and likely wouldn't... I don't like dating. Too many games and too much heart ache. If I let someone in, its because they've been my friend a long time and we've both come to an agreement to progress our friendship. It's never been dating and likely never will be.

And if Litical decided that he wanted a different kind of life, I would probably be way too emotionally annihilated to consider YM again. I'm not sure I'd EVER want to go through the whole "parental reaction" nightmare all over again for someone who is likely to never compare to my love for Litical. Does that make sense?

~phos

Personally, while I have no problems with the age gap between me and Litical (now), if he were to dump me (cuz, no WAY would I be dumping HIM over anything... cuz :eek: WOW... MMmmm) ~ I seriously, seriously doubt I would actively pursue dating YM...

Probably because I've never actively pursued dating anyone and likely wouldn't... I don't like dating. Too many games and too much heart ache. If I let someone in, its because they've been my friend a long time and we've both come to an agreement to progress our friendship. It's never been dating and likely never will be.

And if Litical decided that he wanted a different kind of life, I would probably be way too emotionally annihilated to consider YM again. I'm not sure I'd EVER want to go through the whole "parental reaction" nightmare all over again for someone who is likely to never compare to my love for Litical. Does that make sense?

~phos


Makes total sense to me Fost.
When you truly love someone and god forbid you lose that person its extremely hard to move on. You must kick yourself in the butt and even than...it takes time.

I'm partly here to make friends and if I ever meet the "right" person, I know I will take my time. I can totally relate. But, there is always this little ray of hope I have.
Who knows, life is always full of surprise. That is what I tell myself.
Faith

Paris, couldn't have said it better. But, don't you think we get a little spoiled from being with those beautiful YM? I tried dating a guy about 20 years older than me and he couldn't get it up. It was awful. I ended up fixing him up with a woman that I know that's closer in age to him. They're happy. Same age could be ok, except that in their early 40's, most are divorced with messy lives or single with good reason

yes, but what happens when they are no longer young and beautiful....do we trade in for an upgrade. You should expect to be spoiled regardless of age, you're woth it.

I'm glad you find him someone else to click with, which goes to show that its just a matter of what we're willing to put up with.

As for dating a divorce man in his 40s, the same rules apply for the ow who is divorce, wait a few years while he grieves and gets to a place where he's better prepare to deal with a new relationship, but he will heal and if he chooses to stay single, its proably because he keeps meeting just as many crappy, divorce women with messy lives as the women are meeting, can't fault him for that.

Paris

If my YM and I do not work out, I am considering celibacy. I just find HIM attractive. Younger or older, men can be good looking, intelligent, fun but there is no attraction from me.

Paris, couldn't have said it better. But, don't you think we get a little spoiled from being with those beautiful YM? I tried dating a guy about 20 years older than me and he couldn't get it up. It was awful. I ended up fixing him up with a woman that I know that's closer in age to him. They're happy. Same age could be ok, except that in their early 40's, most are divorced with messy lives or single with good reason.

Hmm, beautiful is not the same thing as being able to 'get it up'.

Spoiled from dating 'beautiful YM'? I guess I find men of all ages 'beautiful'.

Not all OM can't get it up, baby. ;)

Science Goddess

Not all OM can't get it up, baby. ;)

And not ALL Youngsters......CAN get it up.......;)


----------------------------

I agree SG, hence older "partner or SO" or whatever would be better, for when a gender follows the word, I think it changes the meaning of the phrase even though WE here understand its meaning moreso. If one were to take a poll in regards to what age is a "younger man" and/or an "older woman" in general, I am sure that the ages stated would not coincide with many of our couples here, so I have to also disagree with Goldie in regards to her comment about a 30 year old and the 19 year old as fitting the term, but NOT the other example of a 72 and 91 year old. Just a comment and my opinion~ and a topic that will never be resolved as people look at things differently and think they are right!

I'm confused a little bit here, because I don't see what the confusion is!

If it's 'younger man', means young 'in relation to' something. So a ym/ow relationship means that the guy is young in relation to his g/f. It dosn't matter what his age is, he could be 20 or 90, as long as his age is less than his g/f he would be younger.

If it was 'young' then it would be different, because it dosn't then mean in relation to anything else, and different people might have a different idea of what 'young' is.

I've just always presumed we're talking 'younger' rather than 'young'.

I've just always presumed we're talking 'younger' rather than 'young'.

We are. :)

I promise! (pinky swear) I guess maybe I am having a hard time with these two terms, esp. the "older" one because I am an English teacher and may look at words differently. According to the dictionary,"old" (older being the adjective form) means advanced in age; not young or near the beginning; made long ago; having the characteristics of age, etc... Do we not, as a rule, know when something is old/older?? The definition really has nothing dealing with an "in relation to" instance unless it is the adjective form like Rob mentioned, yet it still often retains its definition. However, when we state something like "She is older than her sister" or "She is the younger sister", what do we think of? Each person may see something different unless we know the two sisters, for they could be 4 and 6 or 44 and 66! But I think the CONNOTATION is different when we say older women and younger men. For example Rob, you wrote: "So a ym/ow relationship means that the guy is young in relation to his g/f. It dosn't matter what his age is, he could be 20 or 90, as long as his age is less than his g/f he would be younger." and yes I agree the man would be younger.... but I think if you had written he was the "younger man" in reference to the 90 year old, that would not quite be accurate in my book. Putting those two words together, changes its meaning connotatively. I mean, if I said, "She is an older woman who is dating a younger man" or "they are in an older woman/younger man relationship" what exactly do you picture in your head, and what would the average person who is not part of this forum picture? That is what I mean by connotation. Unless one knows at least one person in the relationship then I honestly think that no way a 30 year old woman would be considered "older", for to me 30 is far from being old per the dictionary definition! Hence, I still think the term is misleading in a way (even though I can see the "in relation to" part), and in truth, when I first saw the name of the group and this subheading WAYYYYY back, I thought all the women would be in their 40's and 50's...and that is the point I am trying to make. So.... that's my story and I am stickin' to it! (as is my pinky swear! :p )



Peace out.

Well not to keep draggin you back here LB (but plz do come back here :p), but I am not so sure that the average person outside of this forum gets it wrong when they hear the expression older woman/younger man. Afterall, lots of folks got here by searching on older women/younger men and a big subset of them is under 40 (myself included). What was I thinking? I was thinking gee wonder if there is anyone out there with information on relationships where the woman is older than the man.

I understand what you are saying as far as the dictionary goes... but isn't the word "older" or "younger" always in context to something else? What I mean to say here is this... one might be older to you and younger to me... older than him, but younger than her...

40s to 50s is not older... if the searching audience is in their 60s and 70s...

/edited to add: okay I looked at dictionary.com and I see where you are with this now... but don't you think its in the usage?

Yeah, this is my last word too. I like a debate! ;)

I mean, if I said, "She is an older woman who is dating a younger man" or "they are in an older woman/younger man relationship" what exactly do you picture in your head, and what would the average person who is not part of this forum picture? That is what I mean by connotation.

Well, technically, in the first circumstance it depends on what you're comparing their ages to, because it isn't 100% clear. Although, if you said that on this site, it would be! But in the second, I would picture a man who is younger than the woman since it is clear. 'Younger' can only be used in context with something else, and in that circumstance, it's intended to be used in comparison to the womans age.

Change the word to 'big' or 'bigger' and you have the same thing. If I said that I have a 'big' bottle of water, that could be ANY size, depending on your interpretation of what 'big' actually is. If I said I have a 'bigger' bottle of water, then I HAVE to be comparing it to something else, so it then depends on how 'big' the bottle I am comparing it to is.

I guess when I say younger, I mean way younger than me. Yes, older men can be beautiful, but they are more tainted. Younger men, I think are more fun to be with and I do feel younger with them. This one keeps me on my toes and it's always an adventure.

And Paris, I read you postings and I agree with you a lot. Don't you think though, that YM are special? Isn't that why you surf this site?

You are experencing a phenomena that we here at ageless should come up with a name for.....since I turned 50 (and I'm pushing 55 now) I haven't looked at a man over 30. It's a scary thing! :-)

It's elderphobia, or somethin'