Don't know what to think...

Hi everyone...yet another question in regards to my YM. Here it goes.

His ex has a little brother, who is more or less mentally handicaped. He is 9 with the mentality of a 3 or 4 year old. So enevitably this child grew close to my YM. Well when they split up she would have the little brother call and say "I love you" and "I miss you". Things of that nature.

So then more time passed and she (his ex) threw it in his face that he was no longer making the time for her little brother. My YM was so very sad, he cried because he felt like he was and still is letting the child down.

So here I am, for the record I've said NOTHING. I've not said that he can't go and I've not even suggested it. Well tonight my YM exes Mother (did you get that) brought the little guy to his work. So now my YM is all sad and has vowed to see him at least every 2 weeks.

Any opinions? As a mother and a adult I don't see how a PARENT would allow a person to feel responable for there childs happiness. But the child is mentally handicaped so does the rules change?

What should I say? Anything? :confused: He asked me if I'm upset or mad at him for this. Should I be?

Thanks again to everyone!

Well, I don't think the mother is trying to make him feel responsible or at least I hope not. But I do know how children can be when the beg and beg for something and as mothers we want them to be happy. Maybe the mother thought it would satisfy the boy if she just let him visit your bf for a few minutes.

I can definitely understand your feelings and I know you're questioning whether his ex has something else up her sleeve aside from him visiting her brother, but in situations like this I tend to favor the child. I would encourage him to visit the boy maybe once a month for a couple of hours and if you see any signs that there are ulterior motives put a stop to it.

Not the best advice, but it's what I'd do. :confused:

You know, I think these people emotionally blackmail and manipulate your b/f in about any way that they can, and seem to take advantage of his obviously sensitive nature.

Eventually, they have got to get to the point that he is her EX-boyfriend, period. Exes very rarely stay enmeshed with each other's families, unless they have a child involved between the partners. If this was truly the way things went, I would hate to think of the group of exes that would show up at my kids birthdays, etc. LOL My brother is divorced, and his wife was "aunt so-and-so" to my kids for eight years. She doesn't come visit my children, and if she did, how uncomfortable would that be for my brother's current wife?

I can see him visiting the kid, if they were close before...but I have to say after reading your other posts, after this what will it be next?

Eventually after a breakup we have to move on, and accept that that other person in most likelihood is not going to be an integral part of our lives. I hope this girl finds another boyfriend pronto.