re-childbearing in my forties by a younger man

Hi I am interested in a younger guy. He and I are still in the flirting stage. My name is oldfashioned. I do not have any children because I wanted to wait until I was married before I became pregnant. Well I am in my mid forties and I am curious is there any older woman in her forties who became pregnant by a younger man . I am very attracted to this younger guy at work, but I am not sure if I should pursue this or let him pursue me because he does not know that I am in my forties, I look like I am in my thirties. Thanks, I could use some sound advice.

Well, I don't know about women who got pregnant on this site but there is a site with info on women who have and they also list celebrities who had children in their 40's, here is the link


www.mothersover40.com

I think you should tell him your age. I lied to my YM at first about my age, and he lied about his, we found out that we had a 21 year difference and we did not care. The funny thing is I kept telling him, hey baby.. I am not 32, I am 35, then hey baby, I am not 35, I am 44, at that point he was concerned I was going to keep going until I reached 60.

A friend of mine had twins at 44 or 45 and she and the babies are doing fine.

Among my friends, I have a reputation for being honest if that's what people want. Since you ask for sound advice, I'll be honest with you. This is an important subject, so anybody please correct me if I'm wrong because I may have forgotten a detail or two.

I had my last child at age 37. At the time I felt old so I learned about pregnancy over 35. Risks can increase with age, but older mothers are not, in MY opinion, "high risk" simply because of their age. I think it has far more to do with health, environment & genetics.

What's against you is that menopause starts BY the 40's & is complete by 45 or 50. Fertility past 50 is pretty much unheard of. I'd say you need to get busy. If you're going to take the time to flirt, court & marry, you should accept the possibility that you may never bear children.

If you want to try to have it all (biological kids with your husband), you might want to mix tact with efficiency, ie: casual conversation. You'll need to answer the question A.S.A.P. so you can progress toward mariage & kids, or, if he's not ready then look for a new candidate.

Either way, it may be wise to at least consider other options, such as: adopting, remaining childless, or using donated sperm & marrying later.

I think it boils down to your needing to decide which is more important: experiencing childbirth, or taking the time to build a relationship. And, realistically, you may get both, you may get neither.

I hope you find a plan that works for you. Good luck.

Hello oldfashioned! I have replied to your posts before with what I would do and I think maybe now I should not approach it that way. It sounds like you're really into this guy, maybe you should just go for it! Especially if you're desirous of having children with him, maybe it's time to get it out of the idea phase. Maybe you could say something like I think you're really cute and I'd love to have dinner with you sometime! Are you guys dating already? I wish you the best!

Hi OldFashioned,
My advice, from one old-fashioned lady to another: slow down gal! You are still in the flirting stages, no dates yet. I'd say it's pretty quck to be determining that he will be your husband and father your child. If you appear this way, it may scare him off. Just go with the flow. There's always other options. Good Luck and keep us posted!

What's against you is that menopause starts BY the 40's & is complete by 45 or 50.

Not necessarily I don't think. I remember seeing a programme on tv (daytime tv!) a while ago and it said that the average age for when the menopause starts is the early 40's, but that it commonly happens anywhere between the late 30's and early 50's. That's what i remember anyway.