Jo-Admin 08-11-2005, 10:10 PM Today I watched my son pull out of the driveway in a pickup with every little thing he owns packed up...to go to college.
I thought I was going to be okay, but instead I feel like someone yanked my heart up into my throat, because I totally realized that the next time I see him here he will be a visitor.
This is my first baby to leave the nest....It doesn't feel good. :(
Desert Spring 08-11-2005, 10:41 PM Awww.....
Just thought I'd say that :)
Aren't you terribly proud of him, though?
suicideblonde 08-12-2005, 04:29 AM when he returns, he will not be a visitor...he will be coming HOME! :D
(Unless of course you totally get rid of all his "stuff" and turn his room into a den or something! :p )
Hugs to you and to HIM as this is the next leg of his journey!
Linda
fos4snt 08-12-2005, 09:31 AM Yep. It's ALWAYS going to be his home. Hell, my folks house is my HOME even now!! (I go there every freakin' day!! LOL) When they had mentioned maybe selling it, I had a full-fledged PANIC ATTACK.
When I was in college, I'd come home every other weekend... to do laundry, chill with the folks, have SUNDAY BREAKFAST. Why? Because I could. My friends thought I was nuts, doing a 200 mile roundtrip every other weekend to... *GASP* hang out with my RENTS. LOL.
What can I say? They're great people!!! Home is comforting and safe and love and history all wrapped up into one neat little package.
Don't panic. The more things change, the more they remain the same. ;)
((((((HUGS))))))))
~phos
DaBollocks 08-12-2005, 09:56 AM Jo Jo you'll be lovin' life soon enough!! :cool:
Jo-Admin 08-12-2005, 11:33 AM Thanks guys.....((hugs))
I know it will get better as I adjust....It just feels so strange to wake up and not have him here after 18 years! :(
He has been with me every day since I was 18 years old. *sigh*
And Linda, I am actually turning his room into something else! He has a HUGE bedroom....and it wouldn't be right to let it sit empty while his brother sleeps in a much smaller room. Soooooooo....we are turning it into someone else's room. He'll have to use the guest room when he comes home...
Just feeling mopey, even though I am really excited that he is getting out on his own and starting his own life.
kathyw 08-12-2005, 12:02 PM Well Jo...my daugther is going away to college on the 19th of August also..and it is a very strange feeling..especially since she's an only child..but it's just another step in the journey of life..it is definitely an emotionally draining experience though..I can vouch for that...it seems to make you want to take a step back and evaluate your life and where you are with it....Hugs to you..it will get better in time..change and letting go are two things that I struggle with...but in the long run..everything works out for the best. :)
christina923 08-12-2005, 12:21 PM jo..it is a day of mixed emotions...allow yourself to grieve, then allow yourself to be proud of the job well done that you and he did together
whiterose 08-12-2005, 01:38 PM I agree with Christina. You do have to allow yourself time to grieve. As I told you last night, after I dropped my son off at college his first year, I came home and went straight to his room, curled up on his bed and cried into his pillow. Even though he is 90 miles away from me, I don't really get to see him very often and the first couple of years were pretty hard. We are preparing for the fourth year of college and I have found that it has FINALLY gotten better. But, boy, when I miss him, I absolutely go nuts until I can hear his voice again. Which isn't easy, since the goof keeps forgetting to re-program his voicemail that got knocked out in a recent storm. :rolleyes:
One thing you'll find is that his visits home will be soooo sweet. At least it's been that way for my son. Because he misses us so much, when he does come home, we are all huggy and lovey with each other... well, other than when he and his little sis start picking at each other. "He's touching me" BLAH BLAH BLAH. :rolleyes:
But, you do need to give yourself time to grieve. It's a MAJOR change for us parents. For 18 years you have taken care of him and been responsible for his welfare 24/7. He has now grown into a fine young man who is preparing to go out into the world. Be proud of what you've accomplished Jody. He wouldn't be where he is without you. :)
1love 08-12-2005, 03:17 PM Dang it, Katrina.... you made me cry. :(
I feel for you Jody.... my only child is going to start her last year of high school in a couple of weeks and I have been getting choked up about that because I know what's coming. I'm sure this year will fly by.....
(((hugs))) I hope you feel better about it soon.
whiterose 08-12-2005, 04:21 PM I'm sorry Melisa. :( But, you know, for us loving mamas, I don't see any way to keep from crying. It's awful that something that is so good for them is so hard for us as parents.
It's funny, I flashback to when my son was a newborn and they had to put him under phototherapy for jaundice. I cried like a baby even though I knew it wasn't hurting him (I was a nurse with experience in that field!), but it killed me that we'd be apart for even a few hours. Of couse nowadays they allow babies to go home for their phototherapy. But, he was in the nursery away from me for far too long. It about killed me. But, it was good for him and necessary at the time.
All their lives we've put them through things that we didn't really like or maybe that even took them away from us, but we did so because we love them. It's our jobs as parents to do the best we can for them to give them the tools they need to stand on their own, after we are gone, if necessary. It's just so unfair that they have to grow up! I always joke with my babies that I'm gonna put a rock on top of their heads so they'll quit growing. They just giggle when I say that. It's useless. Nothing will stop it. :(
But at the end of the day, the most important thing is that we have helped them become good citizens of this world. We should all be proud of what we have all done with our children. To me, being a mother is the most important thing that a woman can be in her entire life. It's just a shame that along with that joy of accomplishments comes the pain of having to let them go.
Chatterbox 08-15-2005, 02:22 PM Poor Jody. Sorry to hear that you are dreading this. You reminded me of something that happened to my then-husband's son in his Senior Year of High School: He came home and said, "They're having a day of advice and counselling for parents that will have a hard time when their kids go off to college. I don't suppose you and my Father will have to go to that, right?"
And he was right! Poor kid!!!! :p
But for your situation, I know it's no laughing matter, and I'm sending a big hug: (((((((((( BIG HUG )))))))))))
Kylia 08-23-2005, 05:01 PM oh don't worry, he'll be back with his laundry soon enough.
greeneyedgirl 09-05-2005, 08:14 AM how'd i miss this???
just go grab his playstation gal and hold it hostage with the understanding that he can only play it when he comes home.......with his dirty laundry (like was mentioned) lol
makes me wonder if my momma got teary-eyed when i went off to college. personally, i'd of been HAPPY to see me go....ahhhhhhhhh quiet :D
Jo-Admin 09-06-2005, 06:38 AM They are easier, actually, thanks so much!
He calls home most every day...even when he doesn't need anything which I think is cool. *smiles* I know that won't last, but Im enjoying it while it happens.
Also, being that the plan changed and he is now living in the dorms (y'all don't even want to know what this last minute change in plans has done to my finances)....
Being that he is in the dorms, I came to the sudden realization over the Labor Day break that, hello, he will be home on holidays...and well, all summer. AND, I already gave his bedroom away to his sister...LOL! That certainly gives things an interesting twist!
But anyway...Im adjusting to only having two children in the house. We are doing well, and I thank you all so much for your advice and your well wishes.
I hope y'all are still around when my last one leaves home in....ummm...seven years. Now that WILL be traumatic to me. *winks*
PS...Trace it would cost him a small fortune to come all the way home to do his laundry...as, ya know, it would be over 100 miles round trip. Sooooo..he is learning to do his own laundry with the machines at school. This week's discovery was that he didn't have any quarters..*sigh* But hey, he actually bought laundry soap...so we are progressing here.
Jasmine54 09-06-2005, 08:07 AM Big hugs to you! What an amazing feeling it is!
I remember the day my son went off to college(my only child)... it was only 2 weeks after he graduated high school. What a whirlwind... We were so caught up in getting him ready to go that there was little time to think until he was actually gone.
Once I realized that he was really gone.. I sat in the floor and just cried for the longest.. After that, put on a smile and we were off and running!
Be proud of him. He's off to be the man you have worked so hard to build.
My son is 26 now, about to marry in October, about to graduate grad school and realizing his dream job. I'm so proud of him and the man he is.. it's amazing!
You've done your job and done it well Mom! He'll keep surprising you and you will see over and over all your efforts realized.
Jas
Science Goddess 09-12-2005, 12:11 AM Aww, Jo, I'm sorry that I missed this. I've been so busy lately...
I hope that the pain is subsiding. Hey, at least there's less laundry to fold. ;)
Congrats on getting the first one off to higher education. Good job!
**huggs**
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