New guy on the block.

Hello all, new guy here. I don't actually have a problem, I just wanted to vent my feelings.

I'm 32, and have been seeing my 48yo partner for six months now. She's very beautiful to me; she doesn't think so herself but at least she accepts the compliment nowadays rather than deny it outright. She's as close as possible to a Perfect Woman in my eyes. Despite being in an abusive relationship for many years, she has maintained her grace and femininity and I feel lucky to know her. I'm sure she still doesn't quite believe me, and she worries I will want children one day and desert her. I try to reassure her that's not the case.

I love her very much and I tell her every day. That's all. :)

Welcome!!! Hope this site is... whatever you need it to be! :D
~phos

Welcome DRJG. How wonderful for your partner that she has a guy like you who is supportive and understanding. All the happiness to you both! :)

Welcome to Ageless Love! :)

I think you'll find a lovely group here. I know I did. :)

Welcome :)

Welcome! Keep telling her that and she'll come around. :)

Yeah just keep telling her i had to do that with my 35yo. She still sometimes denies it and looks at me like im stupid or something. She to was in an abusive past reltionship and her ex would tell her she is fat etc. Well she is far from it and in my eyes she to is absolutely gorgeous and perfect too!! Keep telling her and eventually she will take the compliment and mean it!!

.....emotionally, physically, and sexually, it is extremely difficult to overcome feelings of inadequacy in areas to numerous to count. All I can say is that you need to persevere and really SHOW her in little ways that she is valuable and beautiful to you.

The kind of damage abuse does is so unbelievably profound, NOBODY can understand the pain and insecurity but another survivor. Be patient, and don't assume that words will work, I'VE come to realize that someone can tell you a million things, but only their actions really speak.

I also know she must do some work to overcome her issues, and only a good therapist is qualified to help her with this. Sometimes it takes an outsider to give impartial unbiased opinions and advice for someone to really get the validation that they need to overcome insecurities.

As a victim, we need someone who is not emotionally obligated to us in an intimate way, so we are more likely to believe what they say is true because they have no reason not to tell us the truth ie. guilt, sympathy, or any other reason they may fear being honest with us.

I hope this helps.

take it from a woman who was totally unloved emotionally and sexually from her husband and dealt with cyper sex, strip club infidelity and emotional manipulation and abuse..... it will take time for her to DEPROGRAM.

i met a man 20 years my junior, who because he was so young, i never considered him a romantic partner and allowed a friendship to flourish and grow which ultimately grew to love... he constantly tells me how beautiful i am, he still undresses me like i am a christmas present and still makes the same comments like he has never seen me naked, life is full of surprizes, your lady has earned her right to happiness, be patient, the children issue is huge for us, we dont want to take anything away from you...

i married my younger man over a year ago... this can work, just keep on doing what you are doing, both of you deserve happiness.

It took my YM a year to convince me that he loved me even if I am old(er). In my marriage I was more like a piece of furniture than a wife. Heck, I even dressed in furniture fabrics (jk).

Anyways, welcome and happiness