Sivid
08-18-2005, 07:26 PM
This is my first posting here yet I have already read many of the resent threads and have become comfortable with the idea of sharing my situation with this community. I feel I should state that until recently I had never seriously entertained the idea of pursuing a relationship with an older woman but this has recently become of great interest to me.
Over the duration of the past three weeks, I have managed to become seriously infatuated with an older woman I met in one of my classes. I am a twenty-five year old, fulltime college student. She is a thirty-five year old, divorced, mother-of-three, attending classes part-time while working two jobs. Because of her schedule, she was having a hard time finding a study partner, so I offered to drive out to her house in the evenings so that she could fulfill the requirements of the class.
For the first couple of nights we spent the first half-hour studying and the better part of the following four hours talking about almost everything and just about anything. The subjects varied but I could definitely say by the end of the second night I knew about her day-to-day life, childhood, marriage, children, and most of her previous relationships. Usually I would have took this type of openness and the intimate subject matter as an indication that she was interested, but I was uncertain because she was so casual about discussing even the more personal aspects of our conversations, which has not been the case with any of my previous romantic interests whom were closer to my own age.
Over the course of the past few weeks, I also began tutoring her in math (not the class we shared); she was failing and had only a couple of weeks until the end of the quarter. The stress of the imposing dead line and the strain of the intensity required to meet it put a damper on the conversations and added to my anxiety concerning her possible interest: the deadline was a reminder that the quarter was coming to an end and I would no longer have an excuse to come over. I have never been in a mature relationship before and therefore I am quite uncertain of myself in these kinds of matters. I began to wonder if she had been giving me signs of her interest all along and had taken my inexperience as disinterest.
I finally decided to make a definite move the night before the end of the quarter. I procrastinated to the very end but finally told her. She made a point of telling me that she had not seen that coming, then continued to politely reject me by saying, “I’m flattered, but finishing school is the most important thing to me right now.” she mention that she becomes vary involved with relationships and that it would distract her from her education. She continued by saying, “I don’t want to lead you on, but I’m not saying never I just can’t get involved in a relationship right now”. She asked if I was going to feel awkward coming over now, I told her I would not (liar) and that I understood her decision. It was not until later that I realized that there was no reason for me to return now that the quarter was ending and that her comment about feeling awkward about returning made no sense. The next day after our last class together had ended she called and asked me to continue tutoring her over the next few weeks. She had not passed the math class but has an opportunity to make it up if she can learn the material over the break.
My questions are these:
Is it possible that she was interested but took my inexperience as disinterest?
Is her interest in my continued assistance with math also a sign that she still open to my advances, possibly wanting me to take a more aggressive approach?
Supposing the previous are true, could her interest be in a more short-term relationship?
Should I assume that I misread the situation and forget it entirely?
Over the duration of the past three weeks, I have managed to become seriously infatuated with an older woman I met in one of my classes. I am a twenty-five year old, fulltime college student. She is a thirty-five year old, divorced, mother-of-three, attending classes part-time while working two jobs. Because of her schedule, she was having a hard time finding a study partner, so I offered to drive out to her house in the evenings so that she could fulfill the requirements of the class.
For the first couple of nights we spent the first half-hour studying and the better part of the following four hours talking about almost everything and just about anything. The subjects varied but I could definitely say by the end of the second night I knew about her day-to-day life, childhood, marriage, children, and most of her previous relationships. Usually I would have took this type of openness and the intimate subject matter as an indication that she was interested, but I was uncertain because she was so casual about discussing even the more personal aspects of our conversations, which has not been the case with any of my previous romantic interests whom were closer to my own age.
Over the course of the past few weeks, I also began tutoring her in math (not the class we shared); she was failing and had only a couple of weeks until the end of the quarter. The stress of the imposing dead line and the strain of the intensity required to meet it put a damper on the conversations and added to my anxiety concerning her possible interest: the deadline was a reminder that the quarter was coming to an end and I would no longer have an excuse to come over. I have never been in a mature relationship before and therefore I am quite uncertain of myself in these kinds of matters. I began to wonder if she had been giving me signs of her interest all along and had taken my inexperience as disinterest.
I finally decided to make a definite move the night before the end of the quarter. I procrastinated to the very end but finally told her. She made a point of telling me that she had not seen that coming, then continued to politely reject me by saying, “I’m flattered, but finishing school is the most important thing to me right now.” she mention that she becomes vary involved with relationships and that it would distract her from her education. She continued by saying, “I don’t want to lead you on, but I’m not saying never I just can’t get involved in a relationship right now”. She asked if I was going to feel awkward coming over now, I told her I would not (liar) and that I understood her decision. It was not until later that I realized that there was no reason for me to return now that the quarter was ending and that her comment about feeling awkward about returning made no sense. The next day after our last class together had ended she called and asked me to continue tutoring her over the next few weeks. She had not passed the math class but has an opportunity to make it up if she can learn the material over the break.
My questions are these:
Is it possible that she was interested but took my inexperience as disinterest?
Is her interest in my continued assistance with math also a sign that she still open to my advances, possibly wanting me to take a more aggressive approach?
Supposing the previous are true, could her interest be in a more short-term relationship?
Should I assume that I misread the situation and forget it entirely?