Help

I am a married 42 year old woman with three children. I have fallen inlove with a 26 year old man. This man is everything I have searched for my whole life, and he came into my life 20 years to late. I can't imagine living my life without him. What do i do?

What is it that makes him so powerfully attractive? How long have you known him? Do you think he really "gets" you?

Oh honey...ouch. ((hugs))

Listen, I can tell that you are truly confused and in pain....

Some times it is important to step back and view things from a logical point of view rather than with your heart. In other words, step outside your emotions.

I don't know what your marriage is like, and I don't know your husband or your situation, so it's really difficult for me to come up with any sort of valid advice.

I do think that you need to consider...how important your marriage is to you and if that is something you are willing to risk.

Sometimes we fall in love with people we just can't have....and its bittersweet.

Can you say more..for example...are you happy in your marriage? And well, what is the status of your relationship with this young man? Are you already involved?

:confused: I don't understand what good can come of maintaining two relationships simultaneously. How does your husband feel about you dating another man?

Have you fallen in love from the side?? Or are you actually dating him and sleeping with him already??

Before you risk your marriage...first you definately need to know if this man would want a future with you. Second, not to sound judgemental since I am half your age, but sometimes I think some married people cheat b/c they loose some spice in their marriage. Maybe before professing your love about this man, you should take a weekend away with your own husband, maybe i will remind you why you fell in love with him.

But as someone else said, we don't know you or him, there probably are some people who settle or end up marrying the wrong person. If you truely believe this man is your soul mate, that's you decision to make. If you do decide you want this man, I think the best thing to do is break it off with your husband then persue the relationship. It's unfair to make your husband live in a lie.

Please think about it carefully... don't make my mistake... If you want to leave your husband, then do so, but don't leave 'for the other guy' Leave for yourself. If you leave for the other guy, he is likely to feel guilt over it later on. I don't know your situation, but being as I have just come out of a similar (but not parallel) situation I can tell you that the love may be genuine and it might feel like you are going to go insane, remember that he may have different priorities in life. Choose your path carefully.

Hi there—bless you—I too know how it feels to be infatuated (in love?) with someone else (younger too in my case—and he was 26) when you're married with children. I have 2 children; I was 40 when this younger man just made me stop in my tracks. We had a mutual attraction and I flirted with him—my marriage wasn't happy, life at home was stressful, I welcomed the attention, yada yada yada. :p No dating until late in the game—amazingly, no sex till 2 days before my divorce was final!

I'm mainly replying to commiserate with you because it can feel like torture to find yourself head over heels for someone out of bounds. And I agree with the other posters-- the cost is very very great, if you pursue this other relationship with the younger man. I agree too that you have to assess your marriage-- and that it would help if that decision didn't include the other man factor. It's quite risky.

Before I sound like I'm overly cautious I will tell you (hesitantly, because I don't want to encourage you in the wrong direction if your marriage can be saved ) that my marriage went seriously south and I pursued my relationship with the younger man in my life. And we're together—well, I suppose still dating after 4 months anyway, and the relationship is quite intimate and has potential. I'm divorced, my children are doing well, all turned out OK. This marriage would have ended inevitably but my fixation on this other man hastened it. And I am amazed that I landed on my feet, to tell you the truth. That it is still going on and my relationship seems almost predestined—I believe this is so. But I do have guilt about the divorce and the effect on my children (even though this wasn't the only cause).

So anyway, hugs to you! Just wanted to chime in with some moral support. I was annoyed when people around me said, "Just be careful." (They still say it and I am still annoyed! :D ) but I can understand the concern. But boy can I commiserate with you. It's real— stuff like this really happens and it can really throw you for a loop!

instead of "he is only 26" your handle should be..."I am already married"

*shrugs*

I am a married 42 year old woman with three children. I have fallen inlove with a 26 year old man. This man is everything I have searched for my whole life, and he came into my life 20 years to late. I can't imagine living my life without him. What do i do?


Are you happy in your marriage? It sounds to me like you aren't, or you wouldn't be attracted to this young man. If it wouldn't hurt your kids too much, maybe you should consider a divorce.

instead of "he is only 26" your handle should be..."I am already married"

*shrugs*

yup, like "we" say to everyone that comes in here and says that they are in love with someone that are married... he/she is off limit...and so are you.
You need to respect the fact that you are married. If you are not happy in that marriage deal with that before you go looking for someone new. One more thing... most men and women need some time alone to "find themself" after a long marriage/relationship so maybe you should stop and think for a while...