Newbie

First of all I was happily surprised to find a forum like this.

I'm a 31 year old female and my boyfriend is 20.We've known eachother for a year and a half now and even though I knew he liked me I never considered anything more than just friendship until last June.For me this is the first time I ever have a relationship with someone younger.

I still find it very difficult and have a hard time listening to my heart instead of my head.I keep driving myself crazy with the what ifs.I have talked about the age thing and he's so ok with it and can't understand what my problem is.It's sad but I have tried to warn him off because I couldn't deal with the fact that the age difference is so big and I wanted him to know what he's getting himself into.But he doesn't want to hear that.Which made me feel so good about myself.

My mum has no idea how to deal with it all.She says that if he makes me happy,she's happy but on the other hand,she had pictured her son-in-law to be a man closer to my age and not a 20 year old man.

I have tried to talk so a few girlfriends and some of them think that I shouldn't think and just get on with it.That we're both adults and know what we're doing.But others think I have lost my mind.What kind of future can I have with someone who's only 20?What if I want kids in 2 years time,will be still be there or run like hell?

Well this is me in a nutshell.I'm looking forward to reading your experiences and to read your advice.

Love,Dolphin

welcome dolphin, good to have you here.

i'm 33 and my guy is 23.
you said :

What kind of future can I have with someone who's only 20?What if I want kids in 2 years time,will be still be there or run like hell?


i answer: lol, you can have a GREAT future! just as soon as you let go and listen to yourself, your own heart and mind and not those of naysayers.

kids in 2 years? i hope so! i'll be 34 january the 1st and i want one more. my momma had my sis when momma was 40. you have plenty of time. plus, in 2 years, if you guys are STILL together......well, there ya go. i don't think he'd leave if he knew that's what you wanted and it'd been 2 years. just make sure he knows. no worries. it all depends on ya'll's level of commitment.

welcome and enjoy!

Tracy

Thank you for your sweet welcome,Tracy

I know in my heart that I shouldn't care what other people have to say.You know what,that's something I'm always telling other people.But I guess it's hard to take your own advice.

Well I don't have any kids but would love to have them.He knows I would love to have them.But i think we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

I'm a insecure person and I have asked him so many times why me?Why not find a nice 17 year old girl?He gets angry when I bring it up and says that he loves me for me and he doesn't care about our ages.Which does make me feel good about me.And when he says it,it does make sense.I just have to trust myself and the decisions I make.

My guy lives abroad so apart from the age thing we also have long distance relationship.Well I had that experience before so that's not a big problem for me.I will go and see him again in November and to be honest I can't wait to see him.

After getting to know him better,I was surpised to see that there are younger men out there who can be so honest and open about their feelings and thoughts.This sounds really naive but when I was his age the guys I dated were never like that. Most of the guys I've been with,who were around the same age,weren't to happy to share things like feelings with me(that's something that women do!)And now my guy keeps surprising me by wanting to share everything with me!!

Once again thank you for your warm welcome. :)

you're very welcome.

and i ask you, what's a 17 year old got that you don't?

don't you think he's man enough to know what he wants? lol, give the guy some credit gal, you've obviously caught his attention for SOME reason and it has to be a good one.

if he's wonderful, like you believe, then his decisions should be something you respect and believe in. welp, he chose you.

so if someone wonderful chose you, that must mean you're wonderful too. :D

don't sell yourself short gal, you have ALOT to offer. your age is irrelevant and so is his. it's what's in one's heart that matters.

age is time, and time develops our soul. some people naturally have an 'old soul'....some, like moi lol, have to have the time to find ours. nothing wrong with either

:D

You know what,I should have joined much sooner.Just a shame that I just happen to find this forum today.

Tracy,you made my day!!!Do you know how good it is to hear somebody say those things?And especially someone who knows what she's talking about.

lol girl, i'm wingin' it at best LOL

but i hope i helped you feel a smidge better. one of the ladies here has in her signature "you're an extraordinary woman. how can you expect to lead an ordinary life" and MAN that's stuck with me.

i remember feeling like you DID (lol) when i was involved with an 18 year old. now THERE'S something to make ya go 'whoa! why me!??!' when he coulda had a younger woman.

turn over your new leaf today and show that man what you got gal :D

lol girl, i'm wingin' it at best LOL

but i hope i helped you feel a smidge better. one of the ladies here has in her signature "you're an extraordinary woman. how can you expect to lead an ordinary life" and MAN that's stuck with me.

i remember feeling like you DID (lol) when i was involved with an 18 year old. now THERE'S something to make ya go 'whoa! why me!??!' when he coulda had a younger woman.

turn over your new leaf today and show that man what you got gal :D

That's a good one!But honesty do you know how good it makes me feel to know that there are people out there who experience the same thing and can make me feel as you have done right now.

And by the way 18 is almost 20,hihi!!!

That's a good one!But honesty do you know how good it makes me feel to know that there are people out there who experience the same thing and can make me feel as you have done right now.

Welcome to the forums. It's good to see that you're feeling better and Tracy has made a difference after only a few posts. :D

Thank you all for being so nice and understanding.I really think joining this forum has made me see a whole different side to things and make me feel so much better about it all. :)

Welcome to Ageless.

The best advice I can give you is to just enjoy it, love it, revel in it, roll around in it like a pig in fresh mud. *sighs* I'm missin' my man....can you tell?

Welcome to Ageless.

The best advice I can give you is to just enjoy it, love it, revel in it, roll around in it like a pig in fresh mud. *sighs* I'm missin' my man....can you tell?


Hi there,no I couldn't tell you're missing him(hihi).I'm missing him as well.Spoke to him on the phone about an hour ago and can't wait until November. :D

As with any relationship, as long as both parties are open and honest about what they want from the relationship, their expectations, etc, I would highly recommend following your heart and enjoy what you have with this guy.

If he sees a future with you and loves you for who you are then kids and marriage is certainly something that can happen in due time. When the two of you as a couple are ready for it, basically.

My wife and I have a 12 year age gap and we started out as a LDR as well - she being from the States and me being Dutch.

We endured it all, the ages are not a problem at all, we have a beautiful 2 year old daughter and have been happily married for 3 and a half years. :)

Only problem we have right now is trying to figure out where we want to live; Arizona or the Netherlands LOL. That's more of a 'luxery problem' though. :D

Good luck.