Older Lady, younger guy, married and long distance by oceans and I can sure pick them

Hi everyone I in love with a married woman, who is 16yrs years older than me and in the another country.

I know how it looks, sounds or feels but we do love each other.

I just had to share it with world without anyone knowing who she is as it is driving me insane that I can't tell the world how much she means to me for fear of her husbands reprisal against her.

Her husband has abused her from day one but I know it's no excuse for me.
I'm 27 and in my first year of med school and feel like dropping everything to be with her. (43)
My friends think I am mad and should find someone younger and single which is true but we have been together and apart for 3 yrs and everytime we are together we are like soul mates.

Do not , whatever you do, quit school.....If your relationship is meant to be, then she will take necessary steps to be free and be with you ...if not and you have given up your education, where will you be??

How did you meet ? Would it be possible if she end up divorcing that one of you move to the other's country ?
I moved from Europe to live in the US 10 Years ago...
Anyway, the most important part is for her to figure out what is going on with her husband and if she can still make it work or not.
The age difference does not really matter.
Good luck!

You're right about one thing...you sure can pick them, because if you think, she's not sleeping with her husband, you're out of your medical mind. I mean really, what husband would put up with that, would you.

I really wish we could get rid of soulmates out of our vocabulary...its becoming an excuse to put up with bad behaviour and not take charge of our lives. And for you its become a word to fall back on but there's no emotional integrity to make the word valid. And do you really think this is healthy. Does she have children? Are you being fair to them, have you considered that you're her rebound? Rebound looks alot like soulmate except that it doesn't carry as much responsibility and it makes you look like an idiot since you're considering quitting school to be with her, which may or may not be part of her game.

Because if you really want to leave someone, you would. Its been 3 years, it must be nice to have a husband and a lover of some sorts. And even if she leaves her husband (which I assume they're kids involve or she would've left him already), would you completely trust a woman who can cheat on another man conveniently from another country. I mean what do you really know about her husband personally, not by what she says, she can say anything to entice you to eat the carrot.

And if you were the husband, how hurt and angry would you be. How do you know he's been abusive. what proof do you have? You're studying med right, where's your sympathy, your means to emphatise with another human being in the mist of their problems. Where's YOUR integrity? If your friend was having a problem with his g/f, wouldn't you give him advice on how to cope (providing you're not secretly harbouring a mean streak to convet his g/f and really want them to break up). Or are the rules different because you don't know the husband in this case. But you sure have no problems screwing the wife who you didn't know either.

This has nothing to do with age, although your friends are right...you should be with someone who is single and available to be with you all the time. I'm just not understanding why you wouldn't want more for yourself than be with someone whose actions speak in volume that she's not connected to her integrity, her honour, her virture or you.

Paris

If you are in med school, you are obviously intellectually bright, but I'd say you're emotionally underdeveloped. This is a relationship that is based on the thrill of the dangerous element (a foreign country, married, limited accessibility, etc.) If you had to launder her underwear everyday, would you feel the same way? She's still in a situation that is detrimental to her (according to you) and that's just madness.

I think your friends are right. You are either a commitmentphobe, and this relationship is a good excuse not to be in a "real" relationship, or you are afraid of the responsibility of a real relationship. Either way, I'd be asking myself some hard questions, maybe with the help of a therapist.

DON'T QUIT SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!