Did I make a mistake

I broke up with my ym awhile back because he was more interested in swinging than me......It was a big mistake to try the swinging lifestyle and I regret it everday.....A few days ago he called me to say that he missed me and wanted to see me. I decided that it would be nice to just talk and we agreed to meet at a coffee shop. We talked and he seemed so nice and I remembered all the great times we had in the past and I invited him back to my home. One thing led to another and I found myself waking up beside him the next morning. Since then he hasn't shown much interest in getting back together and I am beginning to think that he only wanted a one night stand for old time sakes...When he left the in the morning he didn't return my calls or get in contact with me.
I am going crazy because I really loved him and thought that he was the one for me for the rest of my life.....
Should I call him and ask for a second meeting? My brain says YES! YES! since I have never stopped loving him but then I get the nagging feeling that I should stop it now...But it is so hard for me...
What would be your advise?

I'm sorry to have to agree with you that he probably just wanted one more night with you for old times sake :( . Be wise this time, and don't don't don't contact him again. If he really loved you and wanted you back in his life he would have 1. shunned the swinging lifestyle because you are more important to him
2. returned your calls, etc after you slept together this last time
3. Let you know unequivically that he loved you and wanted to be with
you the rest of his life.

I know it's REALLY hard, especially if you reconnect like you two did after having time away....but I just think you would be wasting more time pining over him when you could be moving forward away from his memory and onto better things in store for you just around the corner.

Should I call him and ask for a second meeting? My brain says YES! YES! since I have never stopped loving him but then I get the nagging feeling that I should stop it now...But it is so hard for me...
What would be your advise?

Your brain says....yes....but it is your Heart that should be doing the talking here...and from what I have gathered from your last posts....It has been broken one too many times to be able to speak at all....

Try and move on......I can understand that when you love someone....it seems to affect our judgement so much so that we accept ALL sorts of behaviour....

I cant just sit here and watch you suffering like this....and you don't even seem to realise that you are....Come on Caths....Please move on from him....It can't be love if he would treat you the way he did....You must know this.....

It will probably take a little while for you to get over him....but don't unneccesarily lengthen this time by going back to him again....anyway....back to What???

Something that you didn't want anyway...,.wasnt it .....

Agreed with the others. Respect yourself and move on!!

It's extremely annoying when someone else is that blind to our greatness, it is a nightmare. But there's nothing we can do about that. It is HIS loss and you'll find someone who values you.

Lots of us older ladies had to weed through a number of disappointing relationships but I'm *so* glad I left those behind - if I'd wasted more time trying to make those things work I would have missed out on THIS fabulous honey! Take care of YOURSELF and your love life will take care of ITSELF.

Best wishes!

My brain says YES! YES!

You know the answer already:

NO! NO!

I have been where you are now, and it is not a very nice place to be. You are very torn between what your heart is saying and what you know deep down is right.

He will only tear you apart if you call him, he will do what is in his best interests not yours. I know, I have been there. I would call, we would get together and then I wouldn't hear from him again for weeks, even months.

Do yourself a favor, pick up the book "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. It helped me understand the men that are only out for themselves or at least just for a one night stand. It gives a twist on excuses and ways men get you back just for the moment.

There are a lot of men out there who will give your their heart and soul, don't settle for the one that won't. It is not fair to you and you deserve better. Don't ever think you aren't. You need to get back on your feet and look for the one that will treat you the way you should be treated, and give you themselves not take away your self-esteem, and more.

If you ever want to talk privately, just pm me I might be able to help you through your time of need and I will support your decision.

Take care, and get out there and find your true love...He is waiting somewhere!

Magic

This isn't about reconnecting with you, its about going through a dry spell and if he can reconnect with your on an emotional level (come on, he knows you, knows which buttons to push and how/when to push them), he can have his itch scratch and you be none the wiser.

If he can do this without so much as looking back, why would you want this man in your life. He use you, he use your feelings for the old times to put in an emotional state of thinking ahead. It should tick you off, not get you into thinking this is for life. He used you plain and simple.

Get busy, go travel, clean house and spirit. Find some worthwhile cause to volunteer for and give back to others and never again think of this man again. Because he's sure not thinking of you.

Paris

I agree with the others, especially irparis. By the way, if that avatar is you, then what's up with this clown?!? You're stunningly beautiful. Not a hit, just the truth; you can do much, much better. Incidentally, you can do better whether or not that picture is you.

Don't be used. I've been there, done that, know how it feels, don't wish it on you.

Dan Echo

Put down the phone and step away. Never call again.