kathyw
09-07-2005, 06:42 AM
Interesting article..have not had time to read completely..skimmed it...let me know what you think...and I'll comment on it later when I have a little more time.. :)
Article: 9/06/2005 10:51 AM
Modern love: Age just a number
By Emily Young
Sentinel & Enterprise
Townsend resident Sheila Salmi had the unusual experience of watching her husband grow up from a young man into a grown man.
Sheila Salmi, 64, moved to Maynard with her former husband and two children in 1986, next door to Ed Salmi, 43.
She opened an antique shop in town and loved searching for estate jewelry and antiques.
She befriended Ed Salmi's mother, and over time, Ed Salmi himself. After her divorce in 1990, their relationship blossomed.
"We started not really dating, but running around, having fun. Eddie, my business partner and I were running around going antiquing. We ran around all over New England," Sheila Salmi said. "We have a tremendous amount in common."
The couple married in July 2000, and aside from occasional comments, such as "Your son is over there," the more than 20 years difference in their ages has never factored into their relationship.
"It's a number. Your physical age and mental maturity are two different things," Ed Salmi said. "My view is to take age out of it. If two people are compatible, then go for it."
Traditionally, the man was the senior member in a romantic relationship.
"I always felt I needed to be with someone older," said 65-year-old Lancaster resident Betty Kuzmitch, who's husband is two years older.
But times are changing and it's becoming increasingly popular in both Hollywood and the real world for older women to date younger men.
Life lessons
"They say an older woman can teach a younger man a few things, if you know what I mean," Leominster resident Kelly Clements, 32, joked.
A laundry list of female celebrities are dating younger men: Long-time couple Susan Sarandon, 58, and Tim Robbins, 46, first met on the set of the movie, "Bull Durham;" Cameron Diaz, 33, is holding tight to her boyfriend Justin Timberlake, 24; and Demi Moore, 42, and Ashton Kutcher, 27, started dating in 2003.
"I think (Kutcher is) wicked immature. I think Demi could do better than him," Clements said.
The most recently rumored addition to the list is Keanu Reeves, 41, who allegedly dumped his 20-something girlfriend, Lynn Collins, to start dating his former co-star Diane Keaton, 59, last week.
"That's a huge difference, but if it makes them happy, it's cool. I think it would be a bigger deal if they were younger," said 19-year-old Lindsay Nolin.
Many of these unconventional celebs have made their love permanent: Julianne Moore, 44, is married to Bart Freundlich, 35; Courteney Cox, 41, is married to David Arquette, 33; Madonna, 47, is married to Guy Ritchie, 36.
Looks matter
"I think Hollywood legitimizes the trend in a way, but not everyone looks like Goldie Hawn," Fitchburg psychologist Rina Z. Folman said Thursday.
Folman noted the changing work place is a key factor in de-stigmatizing society's traditional views of older women dating younger men.
"The work place has changed so much that it contributes to the way women are seen, especially if they're in an executive position. They are getting into emotional affairs at work by having lunch, talking, becoming emotionally close," Folman said. "A couple can start as friends, but as the relationship grows, they can develop feelings that transcend age."
The trend of older women dating younger men is catching on in the real world.
Roughly one-third of single women between 40 and 60 years old have younger men, according to a 2003 survey published in AARP the Magazine.
Folman has noticed more men are at ease with the age reversals, and several residents didn't feel Hollywood was setting a good example.
"I don't approve of Demi Moore (and Kutcher's relationship). I can see 10 years, maybe, but 15 is too much. Forget it. That's like going to bed with your son," said Leominster resident Olga Cipolla, 78, said Wednesday.
Clements, a single mom, said she prefers to date older men.
"Older men have more security, if you know what I mean," Clements said while patting her pocket.
Lunenburg teen Leah Charette, 17, scrunched her nose at the idea of dating an underclassman, but noted that several of her friends have done it.
"Guys are more immature than girls, so I don't think I'd date someone younger. A lot of girls are doing it, though, in Lunenburg and other towns, like Ayer and stuff," Charette said.
Leominster resident Nancy Gonzalez, 37, is six years younger than her husband, whom she met as a teenager.
"My husband saw a maturity in me. He asked my mother for permission to date and four years later we married," Gonzalez said.
She's not sure that their relationship would work should their ages be reversed.
"There are exceptional cases that I've know. When you get that bonding of characters, in those specific cases it's worked out. But me, I wouldn't go for it."
Leominster resident Mark Leger is on the fence about the age issue.
"If a 35-year-old is married to a 45-year-old, I think that's fine. But if we're talking 25 and 15, that's not good. I have three little girls. Age matters," Leger, 27, said.
But several other residents, both men and women, said age shouldn't factor into love.
"I think it's wonderful," said 42-year-old New Ipswich, N.H., resident Debbie Clark, who's two years older than her husband.
Leominster resident Magdalena Lozada, 40, is married to a 39-year-old man; however, she said she'd be willing to date someone as much as five years younger than her.
"In this time, everything is acceptable. So the fact that an older woman is dating a younger guys isn't a big deal," Lozada said.
Sheila Salmi's 34-year-old daughter, Jennifer Sarvela, also supports the concept her mother is proving works.
"Quite honestly, it was difficult at first, but I grew up a lot and I've grown up a lot more since," the New Boston, N.H., resident said. "It's great that there's someone here to take care of my mother and he's more of a father to me than my biological father ever was. I've never seen my mother happier."
The Associated Press contributed to this story.
Article: 9/06/2005 10:51 AM
Modern love: Age just a number
By Emily Young
Sentinel & Enterprise
Townsend resident Sheila Salmi had the unusual experience of watching her husband grow up from a young man into a grown man.
Sheila Salmi, 64, moved to Maynard with her former husband and two children in 1986, next door to Ed Salmi, 43.
She opened an antique shop in town and loved searching for estate jewelry and antiques.
She befriended Ed Salmi's mother, and over time, Ed Salmi himself. After her divorce in 1990, their relationship blossomed.
"We started not really dating, but running around, having fun. Eddie, my business partner and I were running around going antiquing. We ran around all over New England," Sheila Salmi said. "We have a tremendous amount in common."
The couple married in July 2000, and aside from occasional comments, such as "Your son is over there," the more than 20 years difference in their ages has never factored into their relationship.
"It's a number. Your physical age and mental maturity are two different things," Ed Salmi said. "My view is to take age out of it. If two people are compatible, then go for it."
Traditionally, the man was the senior member in a romantic relationship.
"I always felt I needed to be with someone older," said 65-year-old Lancaster resident Betty Kuzmitch, who's husband is two years older.
But times are changing and it's becoming increasingly popular in both Hollywood and the real world for older women to date younger men.
Life lessons
"They say an older woman can teach a younger man a few things, if you know what I mean," Leominster resident Kelly Clements, 32, joked.
A laundry list of female celebrities are dating younger men: Long-time couple Susan Sarandon, 58, and Tim Robbins, 46, first met on the set of the movie, "Bull Durham;" Cameron Diaz, 33, is holding tight to her boyfriend Justin Timberlake, 24; and Demi Moore, 42, and Ashton Kutcher, 27, started dating in 2003.
"I think (Kutcher is) wicked immature. I think Demi could do better than him," Clements said.
The most recently rumored addition to the list is Keanu Reeves, 41, who allegedly dumped his 20-something girlfriend, Lynn Collins, to start dating his former co-star Diane Keaton, 59, last week.
"That's a huge difference, but if it makes them happy, it's cool. I think it would be a bigger deal if they were younger," said 19-year-old Lindsay Nolin.
Many of these unconventional celebs have made their love permanent: Julianne Moore, 44, is married to Bart Freundlich, 35; Courteney Cox, 41, is married to David Arquette, 33; Madonna, 47, is married to Guy Ritchie, 36.
Looks matter
"I think Hollywood legitimizes the trend in a way, but not everyone looks like Goldie Hawn," Fitchburg psychologist Rina Z. Folman said Thursday.
Folman noted the changing work place is a key factor in de-stigmatizing society's traditional views of older women dating younger men.
"The work place has changed so much that it contributes to the way women are seen, especially if they're in an executive position. They are getting into emotional affairs at work by having lunch, talking, becoming emotionally close," Folman said. "A couple can start as friends, but as the relationship grows, they can develop feelings that transcend age."
The trend of older women dating younger men is catching on in the real world.
Roughly one-third of single women between 40 and 60 years old have younger men, according to a 2003 survey published in AARP the Magazine.
Folman has noticed more men are at ease with the age reversals, and several residents didn't feel Hollywood was setting a good example.
"I don't approve of Demi Moore (and Kutcher's relationship). I can see 10 years, maybe, but 15 is too much. Forget it. That's like going to bed with your son," said Leominster resident Olga Cipolla, 78, said Wednesday.
Clements, a single mom, said she prefers to date older men.
"Older men have more security, if you know what I mean," Clements said while patting her pocket.
Lunenburg teen Leah Charette, 17, scrunched her nose at the idea of dating an underclassman, but noted that several of her friends have done it.
"Guys are more immature than girls, so I don't think I'd date someone younger. A lot of girls are doing it, though, in Lunenburg and other towns, like Ayer and stuff," Charette said.
Leominster resident Nancy Gonzalez, 37, is six years younger than her husband, whom she met as a teenager.
"My husband saw a maturity in me. He asked my mother for permission to date and four years later we married," Gonzalez said.
She's not sure that their relationship would work should their ages be reversed.
"There are exceptional cases that I've know. When you get that bonding of characters, in those specific cases it's worked out. But me, I wouldn't go for it."
Leominster resident Mark Leger is on the fence about the age issue.
"If a 35-year-old is married to a 45-year-old, I think that's fine. But if we're talking 25 and 15, that's not good. I have three little girls. Age matters," Leger, 27, said.
But several other residents, both men and women, said age shouldn't factor into love.
"I think it's wonderful," said 42-year-old New Ipswich, N.H., resident Debbie Clark, who's two years older than her husband.
Leominster resident Magdalena Lozada, 40, is married to a 39-year-old man; however, she said she'd be willing to date someone as much as five years younger than her.
"In this time, everything is acceptable. So the fact that an older woman is dating a younger guys isn't a big deal," Lozada said.
Sheila Salmi's 34-year-old daughter, Jennifer Sarvela, also supports the concept her mother is proving works.
"Quite honestly, it was difficult at first, but I grew up a lot and I've grown up a lot more since," the New Boston, N.H., resident said. "It's great that there's someone here to take care of my mother and he's more of a father to me than my biological father ever was. I've never seen my mother happier."
The Associated Press contributed to this story.