Where do I go from here?

I'm a 26 year old single mother of two boys (5-6). My friend is a 45 year old single father of two children(13-11). We met two years ago at church in a Christmas play. Ironically he played Joseph and I Mary. :-) About 4 months after the play we started chatting over email. I had become very attracted to him, not because he was strikingly handsome, but because he had the most humble gentle spirit I had ever known. We hit it off very well. We went on one date before I had to leave for California on a 6 month internship. We kept in touch the whole time, spending hours on the phone and internet chat. He gave me the best Christmas present, he flew up to see me and stayed with me and my sons for a little over a week. On the very first night he was there, he told me he loved me. I had already proclaimed my love to him before I left, but even more so when we were apart. So it had seemed our love for one another was mutual. During this time we had a couple conversations of what we wanted out of the relationship. It was obvious that I wanted a committed relationship. However he wasn't so sure. He had been married prior for 13 years and I 6. He has been single for almost 6 years now, and hasn't really dated. He had expressd to me that he is struggling with whether to commit or not. Most of his reasons have been because he enjoys the solitude. He spends time with his kids, but on those days that he's alone, sometimes he'd rather be alone that to be with anyone. Don't get me wrong we both enjoy spending time with each other kids. I know for me I love his kids as if they were my own. He enjoys not having to answering to anyone, etc. He tells me he knows that it sounds selfish, but he prays everyday for God to reveal His will for our relationship. Well just this weekend we had a romantic evening on the town celebrating our two years of knowing each other. I spent the evening at his home. I also have to mention we have never had sex, yes we have been intimate and tempted, but our strong faith to keep each others honor before marriage is very important. Well the next morning we were chatting away like we normally do, and somehow wound up on the subject of our commitment level. He started to talk things through and the next thing I know he is saying that he never really thought about age as being a problem, but he now sees how our stages of life is different. He says he's experienced 20 years of life and I'm just starting. He went on to say alot more. But it finally came down to the questions, well what do we do now. I told him that all I know is that I love him, and those times that come when I'm not sure if I should continue on in this relationship, through my devotions, God confirms to me to continue my love. It's like God is pruning me to give love, without expecting anything in return, and I graciously accept. I know I can't change him and it ultimately will be up to him if he wants to pursue this or not, so what do I do in the mean time? Do you think there is a chance for us? Should I step away for a time or continue on and be supportive of the time he needs? I guess I just want to know if there are others out there like me in similar situations. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
God Bless You All,
YoungLuv

While admirable in character and in faith, I personally do not believe that God would want you in a relationship where you were not "receivng anything in return." Every time I have attempted to over extend myself and ignore obstacles or warning signs in an effort to make someone happy in a one sided relationship, I wind up hurt in the end. We are only human and must recieve in order to continually give. It's impossible to advise anyone on such brief postings, but for your sake I would be very cautious if you proceed with this relationship. Good Luck and God Bless You as well :)

(cut)...It's like God is pruning me to give love, without expecting anything in return, and I graciously accept. I know I can't change him and it ultimately will be up to him if he wants to pursue this or not, so what do I do in the mean time? Do you think there is a chance for us? Should I step away for a time or continue on and be supportive of the time he needs? I guess I just want to know if there are others out there like me in similar situations. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
God Bless You All,
YoungLuv

This is an old thread, and I am curious as to why no one else picked up on the topic. I am a recently re-dedicated Christian, so I understand the spiritual aspects and challenges that you two are dealing with.

I am not a counselor, nor am I going to attempt to be one, but from reading this post I sense a potential problem. Your man obviously has experienced a bit more in life; deep down he may be hesitant in committing to another relationship because of the hurt and memories associated with his previous marriage.

If the two of you are still seeing each other, I would recommend scheduling a counseling session with your pastor (since you both attend the same church) or some other licensed professional. If he is not willing to go along with seeking help, then I would recommend not pursuing the relationship further.

I do beleive in giving, but I also believe God rewards our generosity...we should follow His perfect example.