wvdreamer
09-18-2005, 09:19 PM
Here is my commentary on the latest dregs from Hollywood...for every new classic like Revenge of the Sith, there are a myriad of bottom feeders even the catfish won' eat. This year, as my dad shared with me recently, is a major drought of originality in the movie industry. For those who do not think so, check this out:
"Mr. and Mrs. Smith" - husband and wife are hired assassins who are unknowingly assigned to kill each other. Remake of an old 70s spy flick with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as the stars; this plot was rehashed in 1994 when Arnold Schwazenegger (now Governor) and Jamie Lee Curtis starred in "True Lies". The Brad-Angelina hype lifted this one to profitiablity.
"The Longest Yard" - Burt Reynolds starred in both the 1974 original and this retread, which becomes a vehicle for potty-mouth comics Adam Sandler and Chris Rock. Sorry, but Sandler just isn't that funny. Made a lot of money, but no new ground.
"Dukes Of Hazzard" - Jackass meets Stiffler meets Newlyweds. I was disappointed by the fact another classic television show had been ruined by "updating" the plot - i.e., lots of foul language, innuendo, and junk that was unnecessary for the original to be good. Johnny Knoxville's oversexed Luke, Seann William Scott's car-obsessed Bo, and Jessica Simpson's sleazy Daisy do not do justice to the classic characters portrayed by Tom Wopat, John Schneider, and Barbara Bach - none of whom appear in this dud. Sorrell Booke (Boss Hogg) and Denver Pyle (Uncle Jesse) are probably turning in their graves as their characters are re-done by Burt Reynolds and Willie Nelson. The only redeeming quality of this flick was the numerous car chases involving the General Lee. At least Hollywood allowed the Confedrate flag (General Lee's colors) to be retained; had the car succumbed to the current wave of political correctness, I would have walked out early on (I probably still should have).
"Herbie:Fully Loaded" - back in the 1960s, Disney launched a pretty amusing series of movies featuring a Volkswagen that could do amazing things. The car was the center of attention, and that made the movies work. This latest addition misfires by being more a vehicle for actress/party girl Lindsay Lohan than a showcase for the VW Beetle.
"The Honeymooners" - I saw the previews for this one, and it was enough to keep me out of the theatre. Sure, Cedric the Entertainer is funny, but he should have actually sat down and studied the routines of Jackie Gleason - "The Great One" had no need to resort to the toilet and sex humor that saturates today's comedy. Cedric would have walked out of that study session greatly enlightened, and probably would have done more justice to this remake. Have no fear: the classic series is a staple on TV Land.
"The Devil's Rejects" - Death-metal musician/B movie director Rob Zombie tosses another horror movie into the mix. Only one problem: horror movies are supposed to be scary! This dud, the sequel to "House of 1000 Corpses", is more a gross-out flick than a scary one. I looked closely, and saw a plot similarity (sicko family members who are into homicide for sport) to "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and even "Wrong Turn". Nothing new here. At least Rob Zombie had the decency to announce there would NOT be a part 3; all three characters were killed in the end during a shootout with police...just like "Bonnie and Clyde".
"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" - with surprisingly good reviews and an even more surprising success in the box office (which was questioned following the Michael Jackson trial), I actually have a hard time deciding which adaptation of Roald Dahl's book was better. Gene Wilder (the 1971 Wonka) had one of his best roles as the owner of the bizarre confectionery; Johnny Depp (the 2005 Wonka) is creepier, but it works well thanks to Tim Burton's directorial expertise. This is one time the remake may prove to be as good as the original, but I will have see both movies a few more times before I can say which one is better.
"Mr. and Mrs. Smith" - husband and wife are hired assassins who are unknowingly assigned to kill each other. Remake of an old 70s spy flick with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as the stars; this plot was rehashed in 1994 when Arnold Schwazenegger (now Governor) and Jamie Lee Curtis starred in "True Lies". The Brad-Angelina hype lifted this one to profitiablity.
"The Longest Yard" - Burt Reynolds starred in both the 1974 original and this retread, which becomes a vehicle for potty-mouth comics Adam Sandler and Chris Rock. Sorry, but Sandler just isn't that funny. Made a lot of money, but no new ground.
"Dukes Of Hazzard" - Jackass meets Stiffler meets Newlyweds. I was disappointed by the fact another classic television show had been ruined by "updating" the plot - i.e., lots of foul language, innuendo, and junk that was unnecessary for the original to be good. Johnny Knoxville's oversexed Luke, Seann William Scott's car-obsessed Bo, and Jessica Simpson's sleazy Daisy do not do justice to the classic characters portrayed by Tom Wopat, John Schneider, and Barbara Bach - none of whom appear in this dud. Sorrell Booke (Boss Hogg) and Denver Pyle (Uncle Jesse) are probably turning in their graves as their characters are re-done by Burt Reynolds and Willie Nelson. The only redeeming quality of this flick was the numerous car chases involving the General Lee. At least Hollywood allowed the Confedrate flag (General Lee's colors) to be retained; had the car succumbed to the current wave of political correctness, I would have walked out early on (I probably still should have).
"Herbie:Fully Loaded" - back in the 1960s, Disney launched a pretty amusing series of movies featuring a Volkswagen that could do amazing things. The car was the center of attention, and that made the movies work. This latest addition misfires by being more a vehicle for actress/party girl Lindsay Lohan than a showcase for the VW Beetle.
"The Honeymooners" - I saw the previews for this one, and it was enough to keep me out of the theatre. Sure, Cedric the Entertainer is funny, but he should have actually sat down and studied the routines of Jackie Gleason - "The Great One" had no need to resort to the toilet and sex humor that saturates today's comedy. Cedric would have walked out of that study session greatly enlightened, and probably would have done more justice to this remake. Have no fear: the classic series is a staple on TV Land.
"The Devil's Rejects" - Death-metal musician/B movie director Rob Zombie tosses another horror movie into the mix. Only one problem: horror movies are supposed to be scary! This dud, the sequel to "House of 1000 Corpses", is more a gross-out flick than a scary one. I looked closely, and saw a plot similarity (sicko family members who are into homicide for sport) to "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and even "Wrong Turn". Nothing new here. At least Rob Zombie had the decency to announce there would NOT be a part 3; all three characters were killed in the end during a shootout with police...just like "Bonnie and Clyde".
"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" - with surprisingly good reviews and an even more surprising success in the box office (which was questioned following the Michael Jackson trial), I actually have a hard time deciding which adaptation of Roald Dahl's book was better. Gene Wilder (the 1971 Wonka) had one of his best roles as the owner of the bizarre confectionery; Johnny Depp (the 2005 Wonka) is creepier, but it works well thanks to Tim Burton's directorial expertise. This is one time the remake may prove to be as good as the original, but I will have see both movies a few more times before I can say which one is better.