what to do, what to do

Hello, everyone. I am in a strange predicament, and I was wondering what all of you thought. My OM is 42 and I am 27. We began dating 4 years ago. At the time, he was married, but separated, and he got divorced 1 ½ years ago. However, is ex-wife panicked at the thought of divorce, and tried to save it by getting pregnant. They had been trying to have babies for a few years with no success, and were trying IVF. The ex took it upon herself to become artificially inseminated with my OM’s sperm. I know this for a fact because she became pregnant when she was out of the country, and I was living with my OM. After the baby was born, my OM was awarded joint custody, 6 months out of the year. The problem is, the baby is now 3 years old, but every time my OM has custody, the ex-wife has returned with the baby. What this means is, my OM and I live in a Condo that both him and his ex-wife own. So every time the baby is here, she moves back in the condo, my OM and I move out, but my OM spends most of his time at the Condo with the baby, leaving me alone. This has happened 2 times now, and I’m afraid it is going to happen again. I am now becoming very bitter about feeling like I am unimportant, and a low priority. But I also feel like I can’t do anything because a baby is involved, and I don’t want to interfere in that special relationship. What can I do?

Run?

No... seriously. Do you TELL him this arrangement upsets you? Does he even know how much it hurts you to be left alone for six months out of the year?

If you haven't discussed this with him, I suggest you do. Make your feelings known. IF he then still chooses to place your feelings and needs secondary to that of his EX-wife, then you have a serious problem. If he truly has "custody" for six months out of the year, then he needs to tell the ex to SKAT. It's HIS time to be with the baby and YOU are a part of his life and should be able to be there with him as his partner.

Otherwise, I wouldn't know what to call you, but you're not his partner. And do you know what he's doing with his ex when you're not around? This sounds like an extremely fishy scenario to me.

~phos

Why don't you go with him to spend time with his child. If you've been with this man for 4 years and you guys are committed, then you should meet his child because that child is a part of you too. Does his ex know about you two? Maybe you, your man and his child can go out to the park, to eat or go to where you two are living for the while being. He doesn't have to be stuck in the house, unless of course he wants to be in the company of his ex. You should talk to your OM and see what the deal is. Well, good luck!!

Huh...I don't get the scenario :confused: . When your BF gets his 6 mos of custody (which seems really weird to me, but I really don't know much about custody matters), why do you move out of your condo?? IMO, you and your BF are a unit - I would think that the child would come live with the two of you.

edit:
Ok, I reread your post...so makes a bit more sense, both you and your BF move out (I still don't understand why tho). I think that if your BF has half time custody, then his child is with the two of you during that time, not still with the ex, and your BF visiting them.

gromit, i combined your threads to make it less confusing for the members, i'm also deleting your duplicate post and mel mel, imma delete your post about you responding on the other side.

all about the flow, good chi and all that lol

Does she live in another country and flys here and stays for the 6 months? I am trying to understand what's going on. If your OM has custody for 6 months out of the year, well his 6 months doesn't include the ex I am pretty sure. Unless they have some special circumstances for this to be part of the child custody. Doesn't sound at all right to me. She needs to get a hotel room and you should there in your home spending that quality time together as a family without the EX.
Now you say she owns part of the condo? So she can stay if she wants if that is the case then you and your boyfriend and the baby should stay where ever you go during this time. I would ask him to sell the damn condo. Or rent it out,
That is rediculous what you are going thru. I would be questioning the crap out of him. Haven't you told him this hurts you?