Why oh why did I go back home?

I have been in a commited relationship with my BF Jason for almsot five years now. We've had our moments, but everything with us has been great. Recently my BF made a big commitment with me and sold his house and moved to Florida so I could go to college. I am studying paramedical skin care and it just so happens that the best college for that was in Florida, not Maryland.
We've been here for 5 months and everything has been pretty great. I am doing well in school and he is working from home.
Well, last week I decided to go home and visit my family because I had a break between classes. My best friend picked me up from the air port and said that we were going out to this new lounge to meet up with an old friend of her and her husbands.
I didn't think anything of it, I was just excited to spend some time with mywith them. Well, when we pulled up I met the "old friend" and was completely love struck. From the second I shook his hand I was completely gaga. I hadn't felt this way since high school!
During dinner I kept flirting with him thinking that he wouldn't be interested, but he was.
We really hit it off and one thing lead to another. And now I don't know what I have gotten myself into.
I ended up spending the last two days with him and I just can't get him out of my head. And he can't stop thinking about me either. I cried the entire way to the airport listening to his CD he gave me of his music.
But heres where it gets complicated.
He knows about my realtionship, so he is really putting himself on the line here. Also, he has a pretty bad past. He told me EVERYTHING. His father would beat the living crap out of him when he was a kid, He has been abusive to women before, but he was drinking heavily and doing all sorts of drugs, hes been arested several times, and has a 4 year old from another women. He pays child support and all, but he just doesn't want much to do with the child. Which is messed up, but for some reason I understand why.
So, yeah, Sounds pretty bad huh, but that was a decade ago and now he is just a homebody who loves music.
Anyway, hes 33 (same age as my BF now) and I feel like I love him.
I know you can't love someone in two days, but I can't stop feeling this way.
But I also have to be realistic. I can't just drop everything I'm doing to be with him. And I think I still love my BF Jason. I mean, Jason has done EVERYTHING for me. We've been through so much. But yet I still am so gaga over this guy I just met.
I am so stressed out. I feel sick in my stomach, I cry for no reason and I can't look Jason in the eye.
Everything was fine until I met this guy. I had it all together for once. I though Jason and I were going to spend the rest of our lives together. But now I feel like a cinfused little girl.
I mean, for all I know, I could drop everything to be with this guy and he could be over me in a month just like the other women of his past.
Please someone, snap me back into reality!

*smack... smack... smack....* <--- all proverbial smacks upside the proverbial head.

You know, somewhere behind all the stupid hormones coursing through your blood right now, you KNOW that this guy is BAD news. A criminal, a druggie, a WOMAN abuser. And you'd drop everything for him? :rolleyes: *smack* (Hey, you asked for it. LOL)

On the same note... MAN do I pity Jason that you'd so easily jeopardize everything you have with him by jumpin' into something else with a womanizing multiple time loser/charmer. :eek:

No offense, but you can't look him in the eye because you KNOW what you did was wrong and unjust and horrible. Things aren't just gonna get better now, either, cuz you know you're capable of cheating on him at the drop of a hat (or some gorgeous LOSER who shows you an iota of attention... GAhhhh)

I would cut Jason loose to go find a woman who CAN treat him how he deserves to be treated, get yourself in THERAPY and forget about trying to get together with the guy who would willingly and happily take you into his bed knowing you had a GOOD man back home. He's a scum puppy and... and... HE EVEN TOLD YOU SO.

Now, I honesly am sorry you've screwed things up so badly... (hey, you have and you know it...) now, either smack yourSELF upside the head or do what you know is right and let Jason know what you did and work towards figuring out WHY you did it, but for crying out loud that new guy is BAD NEWS and an admitted CRIMINAL and WOMAN ABUSER.

Please tell me you're not going to be that stupid.

~phos

Wow, it sounds like you are going through the same thing my friend went through. Advice: you can fall crazy in love with someone and they can be the WRONG person for you - and this sounds wrong. My friend fell head over heels like this and ended up so incredibly depressed. I lived through hell, just being his friend. 4 am phone calls, crying at all times of the day and night, the DRAMA!, he ended up not being able to keep a job - it was a general disaster. He finally smartened up, broke it off and is regaining his sanity, and happiness.

I'd say maybe try to move on with the relationship you are in? I don't know - myself, I can't imagine being happy with someone and falling for someone else. But, I know it can and does happen if you let it. I'm not sure how you get your life back on track, so I hope you get some advice from others here. Maybe counselling would be a good idea...

Ok a big smack from me too!!! ;)

I think after 5 years with someone all that newness and flirting and excitement is pretty much gone and maybe you got that from this new guy and now you think you are in love with him. I would spend more time with your boyfriend and remember why you fell in love with him. Imagine him doing that to you. Just reading your post myself I was like OUCH!!!!!!!! After 5 years...

Seems as if your really confused right now. How old are you? If you were really in love with with OM you wouldn't have fell for this guy....so quickly at least. Maybe you miss the single life after being in a relationship for such a long time. Maybe you have self-estteem issues or stress issues. Maybe you just wanted some excitment.

I suggest you do the right thing...take a break from Jason. Right now your head is spinning and you need some time alone to sort through your thoughts. Get yourself into therapy.

seems like you have a great guy at home but you are willing to jeapordize what you guys have for what? a deadbeat,abusive,irresponsible, criminal.. dont mess up a good thing..may regret it later.

Jason has been a caring, loving boyfriend.

This dude you met back home has major issues that will only make life worse for you.

This isn't love, it is infatuation and lust. I agree with the others you need to take some time out and get your head sorted straight.

If you drop Jason for this loser, you will regret it!

I can't get more direct than this...I don't want you to lose a good thing over a good time.

Well, it's not like you had sex and put Jason at risk for sexual diseases or the emotional hell of being cheated on physically, but being that emotionally connected with another man while being in a relationship withi him is still going to cause problems at home whether you tell him about your crush or not.

I say "crush" because it sounds like that's what it is. You met a charming guy who probably knows he's charming and took advantage of your "crush" by messing with your heart while knowing that you were in a relationship with another man.

What kind of guy does that?

Seriously, it's a crush and you'll get over it if you break off contact with him. Since you didn't actually cheat on Jason then there is no point in making things worse by telling him that you're "gaga" over some man you met when you visited your family and friends.

We meet charasmatic people in life and sometimes our hormones really rush in but it's up to us to be responsible enough to understand the value of our choices. It's up to us to live up to the committment we have made to our partners.

We really hit it off and one thing lead to another. And now I don't know what I have gotten myself into.


what one thing let to what other thing? why don't you know what you've gotten yourself into?

:confused: