My OM won't let me cook

Sometimes, I want to cook. Especially if it is a day I didn't have school or work, but my OM had work. I just want to be nice. Sometimes I feel like he thinks I may not be a good cook b/c I am so young or that he needs to be in charge of taking care of me b/c I am so young.

I am spoiled by having a father who used to own a resturant and an Italian stay at home mom, so I have never had to cook much... but I lived alone for 3 months last summer and I know how to go about feeding myself. I just wish he would trust my judgement. I am not going to try to cook a 10 course meal. He won't let me make hamburgers or pasta. HE has to always be the one to do it. My friends say I shouldn't complain, that one day I will be begging ot have a man that cooks.

I agree with your friends! =)

When me and my OM first moved in together, he did most of the cooking, because I just didn't know how. Then I got brave one night and cooked dinner and I turned out to be a pretty decent cook. Now I am expected to do it all the time! lol

I think you should just do it, one day when he is at work, and surprise him when he gets home.

Hehee, yeah, you have is so rough there, InYourEyes!

Can't say I have that problem. I love cooking for others, though I can't be bothered to do it much just for myself. And guys I've been with have always appreciated it too. But maybe your OM just enjoys cooking too much to share! :p What about helping him cook? I love cooking together with a partner.

i'm with LJ.....just....cook one day. surprise him! :D

See he works nites...so usually he would be asleep in the next room b4 dinner time...I am afraid he wil wake up in the middle of the suprise. I will some how have to be sneaky.

Come on down to North Carolina....You can cook for us!! :D

I do the cooking almost every night (which I totally think is fair...seeing as he works all day) *smile*

So I could totally use someone to cook for us. *grin* Especially some good italian food! lol!

Nadine.

Litical cooks, but not all the time. Sometimes we cook together. Sometimes I cook. Sometimes my son cooks. :D

It will ALL even out in due time as circumstances change. In the meantime, bask in the JOY that is his cooking for you... count your blessings. ;) Trust me, it won't last forever.

~phos

My OM plans to do most the cooking when we get together and I'm thrilled by it. Of course I have spent the last 20 years being the only one that did ever do the cooking. It's going to be a joy for me not to be the one that has to think about what's for dinner and then cook it. I will happily do the dishes. :)

Ron and I are usually in to ordering Take out, or making reservations for dinner somewhere.. dont get me wrong i like to cook occasionally(preferably italian) :D but id rather someone else do the cooking.

Ron and I are usually in to ordering Take out, or making reservations for dinner somewhere.. dont get me wrong i like to cook occasionally(preferably italian) :D but id rather someone else do the cooking.


I adore eating out...but sometimes during the week there is no time.

I really wanna go to Chevy's this weekend. I am so craving it.

Sometimes, I want to cook.

.....He won't let me make hamburgers or pasta. HE has to always be the one to do it.

He won't LET you cook? What does he do, send you to your room if you touch a spatula? I don't understand.

When I was five years old I was not allowed to touch the stove, but by by age 12 I was preparing family meals for us. I don't understand the reason for your boyfriend not allowing a fully grown woman to cook.

Like if I take something out of the fridge to cook...he'll be like no no let me make it instead. And i just go along with it...it's his house and his food.

My husband cooks but I do more.... But dang girl... Just soak it up.. Maybe make supper before he comes home so he won't have a choice to say no that would be a nice surpise!!

My husband cooks but I do more.... But dang girl... Just soak it up.. Maybe make supper before he comes home so he won't have a choice to say no that would be a nice surpise!!
Yeah, i do have my own key. So I think one nite I am gonna come over the day b4 he gets home and prepare early so there is no way he can ruin it.

I get the feelig he gets like this b/c I am still in school, so he doesn't really think of me as domestic or something and feels like it is his responsibilty. I am hoping once i get a real job that will change. but once i get a real job i will probably wish i had a man that demanded to cook.

Hmm, have you talked about this with him? About how he feels about your roles and you using his kitchen etc... Cause I know for me, my kitchen is MY kitchen and no one else knows how to properly prepare food in it (yes, I'm a bit of control freak) :p

Seriously though, my point is, maybe he's really not comfortable with you cooking there..ya know he feels like it's his house and he should be preparing the food there. I could be totally off base here, but just an idea. ;)

Hmm, have you talked about this with him? About how he feels about your roles and you using his kitchen etc... Cause I know for me, my kitchen is MY kitchen and no one else knows how to properly prepare food in it (yes, I'm a bit of control freak) :p

Seriously though, my point is, maybe he's really not comfortable with you cooking there..ya know he feels like it's his house and he should be preparing the food there. I could be totally off base here, but just an idea. ;)


See that's what I think...but it almost makes no sense. I have a key. I go over when he's not there. He doesn't care about me using the shower, the internet, the TV or eating the food. If I make a sandwich or eat ice cream he doesn't blink an eye. But the second he sees me turning on the stove...he steps in and is like I'll do it.

So I dunno...i think he thinks I just can't cook b/c I am too young or something. One time he told me the smoke alarm is too sensitive and he doesn't want me setting it off, but i didnt know if that was an excuse or not.

Like if I take something out of the fridge to cook...he'll be like no no let me make it instead. And i just go along with it...it's his house and his food.

Oh my mistake. I thought you lived together.

See that's what I think...but it almost makes no sense. I have a key. I go over when he's not there. He doesn't care about me using the shower, the internet, the TV or eating the food. If I make a sandwich or eat ice cream he doesn't blink an eye. But the second he sees me turning on the stove...he steps in and is like I'll do it.

So I dunno...i think he thinks I just can't cook b/c I am too young or something. One time he told me the smoke alarm is too sensitive and he doesn't want me setting it off, but i didnt know if that was an excuse or not.

My father won't allow anybody to use his frying pans because anybody who has EVER touched his frying pans in the past has ruined them. This includes not allowing friends, family, his ex-wife during their marriage, and his current girlfriend to touch them.

My father always does the cooking and his partner always does the cleaning up afterwards. It's always been that way for my father. He doesn't stop anybody else from making a meal in his kitchen but DON'T TOUCH THOSE PANS OR ELSE...!!!!

ENJOY IT! .... I WISH I had someone that wanted to cook and take care of me!
If you want to cook, then just do it and see what happens. I'm sure he'll love the surprise. ;)

Let us know how it turns out! *smiles*

Gee girl, what a bummer! :rolleyes:
Send him to my place for a week (just for the cooking part!!!!). I'll be on cloud nine! I dont know what to cook anymore and I dont like to cook anymore either!

ENJOY having a man that actually cook for you girl.
:p ;)

Thats so funny that most of us wish we had a man who wanted to be the main cooker! :D

I always tell Alec when he cooks..."Have I told you how sexy you are when you cook?"

I'm hoping that the more I compliment him...and build up his ego...the more he'll want to do it. *grin* Hopefully it works! :D

Nadine.

Hehee, I like the story about your dad Charlotte. I'm like that too! I love my pans, and I take care of them....and I just plain like having control of the kitchen!

My husband expects, I say expects.... me to cook everyday even though we both work full time, but ofcourse I cook only when I feel like. On those days when I'm really tire I would tell him 'sweet heart would you take us to dinner please, I'm so tire and I don't want to cook? the answer has always been, 'oh sure we can do that'. Some time I would call him from work and tell him how tire I am so he either prepares dinner before I get home or take us to dinner. This is how I avoid cooking everyday. By the way my husband works at home, so he's his own boss, he sets his own time, and bring me breakfast in bed every sunday

bring me breakfast in bed every sunday

dam you're lucky. now that i wouldnt mind.

Some time I would call him from work and tell him how tire I am so he either prepares dinner before I get home or take us to dinner. This is how I avoid cooking everyday. By the way my husband works at home, so he's his own boss, he sets his own time, and bring me breakfast in bed every sunday

What a sweet man :) Sure tops my ex: he left me the responsibility of shovelling snow while I was 41 weeks pregnant because he had a sore throat. *shakes her head*

My guy can't really cook but he tries and he sets the table and does all that he can when I visit. He always wants everything to be perfect. His mom even buys us candles all the time so it's romantic :p

I'm not much for any man not "letting" me do or not do things, but that's me. I never understood how folks draw lines in the sand with a partner that has to do with household things like cooking. I'm more a yours, mine and ours type person.

If you want to cook, and I'd bet you are a great cook, I'd cook something Italian if that is your specialty and bring it over to the apartment/house and heat it up there. Then you technically didn't cook in his kitchen.

I worry a little that these "never" things are more about control. Make sure that isn't the issue.

Good luck,
another jersey girl :)

i actually casually mentioned this to him, and he said b/c he lives in a condo, the ventilation system sucks...and he has only lived there for 3 years and the fire alarm has gone off on him like 3 times, not from a fire, but just smoke from a stove. the firemen come and it is a whole production. He says thats why he prefers me not to touch the stove, b/c he doesn't want that to happen. He says if he buys a house or we buy a house together, whatever comes first, i can have a field day lol.

Thanks for listening though peoples.

Why would the firemen come just for smoke setting off the fire alarm?

I've set off the fire alarm in our apt. so many dang times...its not even funny....

You just open the doors and windows and let some fresh air in...and do the little fan dance...and its all good again!

Besides...were you planning on cooking something smokey?

Just wondering.

Nadine.

Why would the firemen come just for smoke setting off the fire alarm?

I've set off the fire alarm in our apt. so many dang times...its not even funny....

You just open the doors and windows and let some fresh air in...and do the little fan dance...and its all good again!

Besides...were you planning on cooking something smokey?

Just wondering.

Nadine.


idk, he said there is something faulty with the ventilation in the whole complex. i don't think he's lying, it would be something stupid to lie about. i am over it, i am not going to hold a grudge over it, i believe his answer.

Okey dokey....Rock on. *smile*

Nadine.

Don't sweat the cooking thing too much. Be glad you have a boyfriend who CAN cook!

Stephy has seen my culinary adventures...she demands to be the one cooking!

:p