Which are better - YM or OM?

OK, I thought that title would get your attention, but that's not what I'm really asking!

The "Do you have a preference?" thread was too vague and subject to interpretation, so I'm trying a different tactic.

Please choose the one which most closely matches your situation/feelings on the matter.

I can't choose one! Is that what you're asking?

People are people, age is immaterial.

I'm sorry, way away, I was having trouble with the poll and maybe you didn't see it. It's up now and makes it more clear....

I voted:I'm currently or was last an "OW" and a YM is NOT a criteria for me when choosing a partner.

I just happen to fall in love with someone that is younger.But he could also have been older or the same age as I am.

I'm sorry, way away, I was having trouble with the poll and maybe you didn't see it. It's up now and makes it more clear....

Hehe, sorry about the frantic indignance on my part... I gotcha now! :p

I choose, I'm currently or was last a "YW" and an OM IS a criteria for me when choosing a partner.

Thanks all, this seems to be working a bit better!

Now where are the other 9,000 members? LOL! :p

I am currently with an OM and I say that it was NOT my criteria...

However It'in defense of some of the YW remember some are 18 years old so Sometimes UP is the only way to go ;) they don't want to be dating 8 year olds :)

i dont think i ever noticed younger men until adam, i adore HIS youth. but it is about him, i love his spirit, his heart and mind the body is just a HUGE fringe benefit!

I'm sorry, way away, I was having trouble with the poll and maybe you didn't see it. It's up now and makes it more clear....

I too. Questions are not there with clarity!!!

I am currently with an OM and I say that it was NOT my criteria...

However It'in defense of some of the YW remember some are 18 years old so Sometimes UP is the only way to go ;) they don't want to be dating 8 year olds :)I know. But I think most people realize that YW may have a preference for OM because guys their OWN AGE don't appeal - not that they'd be dating YM! Same-age guys to YW are usually YM to OW. Just as some of your OM are same-age to us. Actually, at 37, some of your OM are OM to me, too!

I too. Questions are not there with clarity!!!How so? I think they are very clear.

Way Away posted before the poll questions were even posted.

No one else seems to have a problem. What don't you understand?

I know. But I think most people realize that YW may have a preference for OM because guys their OWN AGE don't appeal - not that they'd be dating YM! Same-age guys to YW are usually YM to OW. Just as some of your OM are same-age to us. Actually, at 37, some of your OM are OM to me, too!

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it goes both ways.. it's not just he YW preferring OM it is some OW preferring YM just like some YW it didn't matter and to some OW it doesn't matter... so I just have an issue when it's said that MOST preferences are cause of YW etc.... Just how I feel though.....

so I just have an issue when it's said that MOST preferences are cause of YW etc.... Just how I feel though.....

lol you read my mind..

OK I'm being honest, I prefer a younger man because I think that in a situation like that there's a lot to learn from each other!!!

i dont think i ever noticed younger men until adam, i adore HIS youth. but it is about him, i love his spirit, his heart and mind the body is just a HUGE fringe benefit!

Nice! ;) I am sooo happy for you!

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it goes both ways.. it's not just he YW preferring OM it is some OW preferring YM just like some YW it didn't matter and to some OW it doesn't matter... so I just have an issue when it's said that MOST preferences are cause of YW etc.... Just how I feel though.....
Now you've lost me completely! LOL!

I know it goes both ways - that's why there is the "OW has YM criteria" as a choice. I'm just saying that most here understand that a VYW who is a member here probably won't have a preference for a younger man than her!

Now you've lost me completely! LOL!

I know it goes both ways - that's why there is the "OW has YM criteria" as a choice. I'm just saying that most here understand that a VYW who is a member here probably won't have a preference for a younger man than her!

does it really matter? you kept saying in a different thread that theres seems to be more YW that prefer OM, but your polls prove otherwise so far.and you really cant be sure what a VYW may prefer,really shouldnt matter how many more prefer OM or YM. blah

Now you've lost me completely! LOL!

I know it goes both ways - that's why there is the "OW has YM criteria" as a choice. I'm just saying that most here understand that a VYW who is a member here probably won't have a preference for a younger man than her!

Just like most here would understand the VYM that are members here wouldn't have a preference for a younger woman than him.. so see? same thing... Their is no difference of a YW with an OM than a YM with an OW... whether it's preference or not ... and yeah your polls seem to match .. considering there are WAY MORE OW here on this board and not to many YW here So looking at it this way.... its pretty much close....

I'm sorry I lost you... Like TX said you keep saying how it's the YW here who are the ones with the preferences...and in reality we ALL have preferences......

I'm not trying to PROVE anything you guys! You both seem to think I have some sinister motive here! LOL!

Like I said before, it SEEMED like more YW had an actual criteria that the man should be older and NOT the same age, whereas more OW didn't gave a criteria that the man should be a lot younger and specifially NOT older or same age. I was just CURIOUS if that perception was true or not. And the poll seems to play that out more YW use age as a criteria.

For example - when I was in my 20's, I WOULD date someone my own age, whereas more YW here seem to reject guys their own age for older men only - saying that guys their age are too immature or whatever. Conversely, fewer OW here say they would reject a man their own age for a YM. Less OW say they'd ONLY date a YM.

I can't say YM are better than OM for me. I'd give either a chance. But there are OW here who say YM are better. And there are YW here who wouldn't give a guy their age a chance and would only date a much older man.

Just to clarify a little more - there are two kinds of OW here - those who seek out or sought a younger man specifically and those who "ended up" with a younger man.

I'm sure the same is true for the YW/OM side, as well. Some "sought out specifically" while others "ended up with" or even "in spite of" the age difference.

I was simply curious because it seemed like more YW "sought" much OM than OW "sought" much YM.

One is no better or worse, I just thought it an interesting dynamic.

And it seems, as far as for YW it's about 45/55 and for OW it's 30/70. Noticable difference, I think

No, it doesn't matter in the larger picture - but neither do most of the polls around here - right? All in fun, you guys, really.

Kristen I dont think you have a sinister Motive here at all....

I still think you are catagorizing us saying that we use that as a criteria.... Unfortunatly the poll would never be to accurate because it's hard to compare YW and OW because some of us can only go same age or higher... where as OW can go older, same age, or younger....

Compare us to the YM and compare You guys to the OM.... because It would probably be the SAME .... They prefer YW like some OW prefer YM and some OM it just happened to like OW ... and compare us to the YM I assure you they have a preference to..... their are absoultely NO differences between OW/YM and OM/YW... I just wish you could see that thats all.. Honestly the poll isn't accurate.... Like I said earlier..Its hard to compare someone who is 18 to someone who is 50..... Of course there are differences.. If this 18 year old preferred YM she would be dating a 10 year old like I said before so OF COURSE they would choose older understandably so.. and the 50 year old could have a choice of older, same age, or younger.....so their are huge differences that you can't compare....

Kristen I'm not saying this to be mean I'm just saying how I feel.. it's not that it's not in fun because I didn't realize this was intended to be a fun poll... I just think that it's sometimes a little unfair to see OW saying that about YW is all... I mean god knows If we said that OW are just looking for YM what would that say about us right? Please understand it coming from the YW view... I'm sure nothing was meant by it but to be a lighthearted ..... but it actually makes us YW seem like we are closed minded in our choices of man... :) I prefer OM but It's not a criteria for me....

Hmm, I'm starting to think this should be moved to the debate/discussion section :eek: . J/k.

Ok, here's my opinion for what it's worth... I get what Kristin's doing and I think it makes sense. I don't think she's trying to make anyone feel bad, I think she's trying to "prove a point" so to speak, but I don't think it's a bad thing. There's nothing wrong with having a preference - whether it be for older, same age, or younger men. I think most of us will have some sort of preference. And there's nothing wrong with NOT having a preference either.

For me, I have a preference for same age men. And because of that I do sometimes feel bad on here, because IT IS an ageless love support site. But, that's also what brought me here - to understand why on earth I fell for someone older and to feel like I'm not alone in this.

I don't think YW have to be into YM, to not make them into OM - they can be into same age men. There are just less categories (ie. same age or older, rather than younger, same age, or older for OW), but the majority of YW in the population (I'm assuming) do prefer men of relatively the same age (give or take maybe 5 years).

And finally, no I don't think any of this really does matter...it's just one of our silly polls and it's just for fun. :D

Thanks Cabin.

Mer - I think the problem may be be that you're taking the question too literally and too seriously. I didn't realize it was such a sore spot. In this scenario, the younger man for younger woman OBVIOUSLY needs to be left out for the younger women.

But there is a difference between "preference" and "criteria". I would "prefer" a man my age but it is not a "criteria," obviously, since I'm with a much younger man.

And obviously, a YW who wouldn't date a 10 year old could still date a man her own age, yet prefer men 5 to 10 years older or even have that as a criteria.

You obviously prefer your OM. If you broke up (theoretically) would you consider dating a guy your own age or would he HAVE to be much older for you to consider it?

I guess for this poll I'm asking the YW about same-age or older and I'm asking OW same-age or younger. Not preference, because some OW here actually would prefer older - just if it's a criteria in choosing a partner.

And it's fine if they do!

Yes there is a difference between criteria and Preference Yep I agree.... I just think comparing OW/YW is not the fairest way.... I guess thats My point here.....I am Older of the YW so it's different for me.... I prefer OM If I found someone my age that would be fine..... I definatly do not prefer men younger than me however If someone really WOW"ed me I would be ok with it... Unfortunatly I've had nothing but BAD experiences with men younger than me I am definatly on a different maturity level than the ones I've met.... With that being said...... I do understand that there are people who have this as a criteria and thats ok... I just think we are all equal.....there are some of us who have criterias and some who don't that I agree with you... I just don't want to single us all out and label.....

Its not that I'm taking it seriously either... I'm taking this for what it's worth.... You asked a question I am just answering it the way I feel... So maybe your taking my comments to personal.... I dont feel you can compare them :) and according to this poll Unfortunatly it can't be accurate.. I mean c'mon Look at the numbers.....How many YW do we really have here compared to the OW of the boards......It's not close to being even... :) I think you'd have to take the same amount of YW and the same amount of OW to complete an accurate one... :) Again I agree with you on almost all parts.. I just don't agree with labeling them YW or OW and who does it more etc... I just think as a whole We have certain ciriterias and some of us just have preferences.... Please just understand what I'm trying to say...

For me I never went out looking for a YM,I just ended up with one.
I had never been interested in someone much younger(maybe 2 or 3 years was the limit)until my YM.

And I wouldn't go looking for a YM if my current relationship would end.

For me I never went out looking for a YM,I just ended up with one.
I had never been interested in someone much younger(maybe 2 or 3 years was the limit)until my YM.

And I wouldn't go looking for a YM if my current relationship would end.

I agree with you here!! I never ever went out looking for a man this much older than me :) It did just happen... We are married and hopefully spending out entire lives together but if we didn't I actually don't think I'd look for an older man either.... Just a nice guy :)

Sorry I didn't vote Kristen...

My first marriage was with a man 1 year older then me.........

Divorced, had a relationship with an OM 24 years my senior......

My second marriage was to a man 3 years younger then me .........

Divorced, and dated men in their 20s, 30s and 1 in his 40s.........

Age is irrelevant really.........old, young, middle-aged....the heart and soul of the man is relavant, not his age......

I'm 47 and Jeremy is 22......and he's my best friend, my soul mate, my life partner.....for whatever years remain for me on this earth, that will never change.....this love that I share with Jeremy will carry on with me through all eternity......and our souls shall forever be bonded as one..........

So, no preference for me, nor is there a criteria for me...........Love happens to all of us for whatever reason, we can't really control it if you think about it.......it just happens, that overwhelming emotion of uncontrollable love for another human being........and when that happens......age really doesn't matter in the big picture........its all about being as one with your love.........

And.......this poll was fun Kristen........good job!

love,
Sora