He did it

Well...he did it.

We talked for a long time on the phone about everything today (while we were both at work)
And I told him..that I can't do this anymore...I can't walk on eggshells anymore.
I told him that he had to decide what he wanted...for us.

And he gave me the whole "I can't put you through this anymore...you deserve so much better..blah blah blah"

I would have done and gone through anything for this man. I really did beleive I was going to marry him...I would have married him tomorrow. I would have worked through anything with him....for him.

Oh well...thats life right?

I can't say that I didn't see this coming..... :(

I just read your post and i'm really sorry to hear that. I can only imagine how devastated you must feel right now.

Life does suck sometimes, doesn't it? There's something better for you around the corner...hugs! :(

Oh Holly, I'm sorry to hear that. :(

I'm sure it won't give you any comfort right now....but better this happened sooner than later right? Look after yourself, and keep posting here!

Oh, Holly, I'm so sorry to hear this. Now you and I are really in the same boat!! Feel free to PM me some more, if you feel like talking. :o

delete.....

i'm so sorry!!

but things will get better.

You said in your other post how you had no friends or no time of your own. in the long run, you will realize you could not have gone through life like that. The important thing I think in YW/OM relationships is that the OM have to respect some of the traits that younger women have and not try to take them away. It's not the norm for someone your age to never go out with friends and to be worried about children 24/7. You deserve to find the man who will love you and let you have a life and eventually, you will.

It's never a good feeling when a relationship ends without notice. When I was reading your post I could have written those exact same words 18 months ago. Concentrate on yourself and keep your heart open. Reconnect with old friends or make new ones. Then *BAM* when you're not looking Mr. Right or I should say Mr. Really Right will drop in and change your world.

Good Luck on your new path

sorry it didnt work out with you two. i read some of your other posts and saw alot of red flags with your OM, but i didnt want to reply about it as i know you are going through enough already. he did you a favor by telling you this now instead of waiting later, although i really feel bad for the kids involved, i can just imagine how confused they will be now that you are no longer there.

aww this is such sad news... i'm also sorry to hear this... but the others are right!! Time does heal wounds it may not seem like it will right now but Time will tell... chin up ok.... You wll be fine!!

Thanks you all for the caring and kind words....I really do appreciate it. It definitely has helped me get through all of this...being able to talk about it..get it out.

So here's a little update...

Friday, I was miserable. I ended up going out to a concert with some friends and drinking a little too much. (I NEVER drink haha)
I got home around 4:30am (ofcoarse Joe and the kids were sleeping) and I went to sleep on the couch upstairs.
I woke up about 8:30 from the phone ringing (the ex, ofcoarse) (I was still supposed to watch the kids all day, cuz Joe and Laura both had to work) and when I woke up...I felt lke death. I had the worst hangover ever! And I was still a little drunk.. :/
When Joe saw me, he could obviousley tell that I was ill, so he said he would just take the kids to work with him, and I would pick them up later.
So, after he left..I couldn't fall back asleep..I felt horrible. So I ended up calling him and crying...(his ex wife called me, and told me..Joe had told her what happened, I was sooo pissed that he told her first thing in the morning..you know?)..after we talked for awhile on the phone..he said please don't tell anyone else, and could we just talk later. He's tired of always talking over the phone.
So. later on I picked up the kids..had a quick lunch at the deli and went to my aunts house. (she was having a pumkin carving party for the kids). A whole bunch of people were at my aunts house and I still felt terrible..and didn't feel like being around people. The kids were fine and playing..so I told my aunt I had to be a lone for awhile..and I left.
When I called Joe to tell him that I went driving and that the kids were fine at my aunts...he asked me to please come to the deli so we could talk. I didnt reaally want to at all...but still, I went.
We ended up talking for like 2 hours....the fisrt words that came out of hs mouth were..I love you so much..I am VERY much in love with you..I need you, and I can't lose you. So, needless to say..I was so much more confused.
We talked a lot but..I had to go pick up the kids...so we said we would meet later at home..and talk some more.

Later on that night...we taked about everything. Marriage, kids, MONEY...see, that was his biggest issue..is that we made all of these plans..spent all this money on the house (for me moving in), got into all of this debt..and I hadn't been giving him money towards anything. (Id pay for things..here and there..but nowhere what we agreed on, prior to me moving in)
All I know is...that was the first time..in a looong time I had seen him so excited about us again. Excited about me, marriage, having a kid together. I told him, that even though I want to stay together, I think I should still get a place with Patrick. Slow things down a bit. Joe said, that if I have the money to get my own place...why not put it towards us, and continue to work on our life together. He thinks that if I move out, we will grow apart. He said that weve already come so far...why turn back now. He said that he's so sorry for pushing me away all summer long..he just felt like he was carrying all of the load. But if we have a plan and stick with it...and work together, we'll make it.
I can't tell you how good it felt to have my "old Joe" back. He was all about me again, staring at me again with the eyes, telling me how lucky he is..how beautiful I am..etc., Grabbing me in the kitchen to slow dance again. Iv missed this sooo much. This morning, I got woken up very nicely. ;-)
On the one hand..I beleive him..and I know that he does really love me, and want to be with me. On the other hand..I'm scared that this won't last with him. I tell him this..and he said..he loves me so much..and if he knows that we are both working towards the same things...we will be fine. We did and do right now have a beautiful relationship. I would hate to throw that all away.
Maybe were just going through a weird transitioning period of some sorts and we had to find each other again, and remember and realize why we fell in love in the first place.
I'm not sure whats going to happen in the future, but for right now..I'm enjoying having my Joe back. I missed him soooo much.
I'm still confused..but I guess I'll just enjoy us for right now. I do want to marry him..and I'm so happy thats he's excited about us again. I'm not sure what will happen in the future...but for right now, I'm going to enjoy us..and our engagement.

Sorry again, for the looong post. Iv just been going through a lot..and it helps to get it out..and know that other people are in similiat situations.
Thank you all for your help and support. I'm really glad I found this site, and all of you. ;-)

**smile**

I had a feeling that he just needed a slap upside the head. That's why I didn't post sooner to this thread - I wanted to see what he did, first. Although, I admit I was pretty doubtful, I was also hopeful for you!

Now you keep your part up, too, OK? Help with the financials and it should all fall back in place.

I don't see any reason to still move out - Joe knows you will if things go back to the way they were. The key was that you meant what you said - it wasn't an empty threat or game playing. Joe has a point that it would help to put your funds back into the partnership - especially since it sounds like you haven't paid up your fair share, you know?

But tell him that he needs to TALK TO YOU and not hold things in anymore if something is frustrating or stressing him. Marriage is all about being TOGETHER in life, not one person taking all of the burden. He didn't do you any favors by holding it all in and almost ended the relationship because of it.

I hope you both work it out! :)