How to let go ?

I am going to assume that many of the women on this forum are of strong character and independence. This being because we are on here because we don't subscribe to the pressures of living in a world where the majority tells us how we should live...but I digress...

The above statement fits me to a "T". To prove my point I finally went out this last weekend and got my motorcycle license! Which I don't know why I didn't do sooner.

My problem, or really issue, is letting others provide me with help. I am not so much under the impression that I can do things myself as much as I don't want to inconvience someone else with my problems or needs. I know this is a issue that I have within myself. My OM actually likes that I am more independent since his ex was so dependent and told him what to do. However, I am still afraid that my independence pushes people away from me. I also mean family and friends. By not allowing them a dependency of any sort I release myself from any responsibility to feel hurt or disappointed, but I also release myself from the acutal benefits of others helping me, on my part or theirs. When I describe help I do not mean financial, but more along the lines of household help or the likes. Pretty much everyday things.

I am not nieve enough to believe that I can do everything in my life all by myself but my brain says that is not far from the truth.

So I guess the question I have is , for those of you who have delt with independency to the point that it could be unhealthy, how do you let go?

PS I am NOT a control freak but I know I have issues with control. But I am also okay with things that happen. In other words I am good at dealing with issues that are not in my control.

When it comes to your partner be just that.. be partners..... I mean control shouldn't be an issue.... You can be in control of your life and just admit when you need help and take it.... or give it if your partner needs it.... :) My husband and I are Partners.. I control my feelings and my life but my partner is my life along with my son... so the only "control" I have is to provide for my son and my husband... and my husbands control is to provide for his son and for me his wife....

If your OM wants to help and you need it take it....You can be independant and be open to others all at the same time...

Good Luck....

My problem, or really issue, is letting others provide me with help. I am not so much under the impression that I can do things myself as much as I don't want to inconvience someone else with my problems or needs.
Consider: Not letting someone else know your needs is a greater inconvenience because now they have to guess - assuming they are interesting in you and care for you.

... My OM actually likes that I am more independent since his ex was so dependent and told him what to do.
I would suggest her telling him what to do suggests she was quite independent! Dependency would include letting him take the lead...

However, I am still afraid that my independence pushes people away from me. I also mean family and friends. By not allowing them a dependency of any sort I release myself from any responsibility to feel hurt or disappointed, but I also release myself from the acutal benefits of others helping me, on my part or theirs.
I'd agree with the first sentence, but have trouble with the rest because it sounds a bit commercial to me, like bartering dependence - which, interestingly, gives one a sense of control! It is very difficult to "bond" with someone who doesn't share. What passes for independence can also be selfishness.

I am not nieve enough to believe that I can do everything in my life all by myself but my brain says that is not far from the truth.
I'm tempted to reply "Wanna bet?" but the more important question is whether or not you should do something because you CAN. Where's the WANT and the should?

So I guess the question I have is , for those of you who have delt with independency to the point that it could be unhealthy, how do you let go?
You don't let go. You embrace sharing. Sharing and independence are not at odds with each other, they are not an antithesis. Start with a positive... pick an accomplishment and discover how much easier it comes when you share it with someone who wants it too.

And don't confuse individuality with independence!

Thank you for all your replies. The insight that I have gained here has done wonders for my mind and my heart. You all seem to have such beneficial advice from all aspects. I enjoy listening to all the opinions depending on ones walk of life.

I have a long way to go in my quest for finding myself and being content, but each day proves more promising than the first.

My reluctance to share my life is a trust issue and with time I hope will resolve itself. NO one likes rejection or vunerablility and trusting someone(sharing of oneself) leaves you open to this. However, if you never allow this, then one can never truly share, or love for that matter.