Falling to Pieces....

Yesterday I had to come to a decision to put one of my dogs to sleep. Its been a decision thats been luming about me for awhile, but I have to say, Ive been selfish is wanting to keep her, Mollie, around as long as possible.

Shes a pure bred rottweilor, who my ex-husband bought for me and my kids for Christmas in 1994. She was 8 weeks old and he put a huge red ribbon around her head....She was just beautiful. Shes had a full loving life. Shes the only dog I know that has not only raised her own puppies but also kittens and piglets! Shes taken a back seat to my labs over the years. The labs are so much more demanding of our attention, but shes just always been there. Shes the real matriarch of our little family.

Shes young I know to be put down but the last couple years, shes had mini-maul seizures, urinary tract infections, a tumor removed (major surgery there) and now, though happy and content, she has lost control of her hind legs. It keeps getting worse, where I used to encourage her to walk, I now have to carry a 90 pound dog up and down my stairs to get her out to do her buisness...half the time now shes ends up sitting in it. The other night she actually had an accident in the house...she just couldnt get up or have the energy to bark for me. She slipped and fell the other morning and it shook me up so bad I cried for her.

I know this is best for her. She cant be too happy, shes just knows better. Shes knows its wrong to have accidents in the house...but does she know I forgive her. So we are going to pamper her this last weekend, me ex husband is coming over and his parents...my son is coming to say good bye. Tuesday she has an appointment with her vet who loves her too. Im going to have her cremated and her ashes returned to me...

In the mean time, Im at work with silent tears streaming down my face...

oh how heart-breaking.
she knows you forgive her gal, she see's it in your face and hears it in your voice and it's confirmed by your actions....she knows.

big hugs for you. :(

Tracy

I have tears for you and your doggie...:(

You are definitely doing the right thing, heartbreaking as it is. My thoughts are with you.

Oh, I am SO sorry, Michele. ((((((HUGS))))))) I know just how heartbreaking this can be and the grieving process takes time, both before doing it and after. I'm terribly sorry for you and your extended family who loves her.

It's amazing to me how deeply these animals are taken into our hearts. But they are. They are family.

I hope your last weekend with her is a good one full of love and rememberances of the great times you've had together. Stay strong.

~phos

Thank you ... I just cant stop the tears just yet...Im gonna post some pictures of her that are truly wonderful....cuddling with her kids, her cats and her kittens...as I think of those moments Im smiling as I cry.

Hugz to Michelle.

Michelle..........My heart goes out to you.
I had a German Shepherd "Annie", and had to have a hip replacement done on her when she was very young (the humane society and I closed down the puppy mill that she came from, but that's another story) Anyway, she rejected the replacements and I, selfishly, couldn't let her go.........I carried that dog, literly, for several years. I finally put her down when she was 8. I still, 15 years later, think about her from time to time but I know that I finally did do the right thing.
Now I have my "Luka" another German Shepherd, he is 2 and I pray that his hips stay intact for a long time. Bigger dogs, as you probably know, are prone to hip dysplasia :(
God bless you...........you are doing the right thing too and know that she knows it too.
I think they kind of let us know when they have had enough and for her to feel bad about her "accidents" is a real good sign that she does.
Blessings, Tinydancer

Awww, sweetie, I know what you are going through. It is such a hard thing to do. But, you are doing the most loving thing for her that anyone possibly could do. You are relieving her from her misery. And, your decision was done completely out of love for her and wanting what is best for her.

I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. It just breaks my heart to think of what you are going through. I'm glad for you though that you have the time to say goodbye to her. In both instances in which I euthanized a couple of my pets (a cat and a dog), it happened very suddenly.

So, I hope that the time together this weekend goes by slowly to give you this time with each other. And, I hope that on Tuesday you are surrounded with people who will be able to be there for you.

((((( hugs )))))

Michele, I'm so sorry for your loss. It is always so difficult to make the agonizing decision to have a beloved pet be put to sleep. In your heart you know it's the right thing to do and you know your pet is no longer suffering, but there is still a huge hole.. an aching in your heart. I hope in time your heart will be able to smile again.

Michele ~

I'm sorry to hear that you had to make this decision but I'm proud of you for being able to do so. It is a heart-wrenching choice but one that you can only make from love.

I'm crying with you. I've been there. My pitbull, my best friend, that I had for 10 years died of liver failure. I was just getting to the point of having to make this choice when she passed away at home. But whether or not to put her to sleep was a decision considered daily for a couple of months.

Last year, my kitty had kidney failure. I had to put her to sleep because she finally lost the use of her hind legs and lost so much weight it seems that it hurt to touch her at all. Sometimes I regret waiting as long as I did to put her to sleep because she was really unhappy those last few days.

Michele, you are lucky to have had this wonderful friend in your life and she is lucky to have had you there to care for her and love her. You will always have memories and pictures of your time with her. Try to feel blessed that God brought her into your life and brought you into her life.

**big hugg**

SG

Thank you everyone for your thoughts.....

Im actually hanging in there today. Last night I chapharoned the school Halloween dance which I discovered half way in Id gotten my mind completely off her. Today we have been trying to do business as usual only paying her more mind. My son got her to walk down our driveway and back...and proceeded to tell me that we didnt need to do this. Problem is, tomorrow she might not make it out the door. I keep wondering what the house is going to be like without her... But yes, I know this is for the best, its time and I dont want her to suffer. Shes been actually pretty relaxed the last couple days other then a couple accidents. Kylie was changing out her soccer shoes today and set them on her hind end, and she just sat there like shes always does...happy to be of help! haha

Anyway, thanks for your warm wishes...and as soon as I can figure out how, Ill post some pictures of her. :D

Mollie and our last batch of Kittens....all given to wonderful homes, we even came up one short.

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d43/mimi59/CochraneFamilyPics054.jpg


Mollie and Keico sleeping on the couch

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d43/mimi59/DSC00018.jpg

Michele...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I, too, had to go through this a few years ago. I think it was in 01 or so...the week of Thanksgiving...my companion of 14 years, a yellow lab named Taffy...was deteriorating. Badly...

The day before Thanksgiving...she could hardly walk. In fact, she didn't. She pulled herself only a few feet and didn't eat anything all day. I went from being a 20 something year old, to a four year old boy crying...pleading with her to get up and eat...

She couldn't. I made the decision that night, to put her to sleep...so that she could be at rest. It was the final gift I could give her...an eternity in life free of pain and suffering. I'm glad there was a place open that late on the night before Thanksgiving...

After that? She was in a better place, across the Rainbow Bridge...where, even to this day...I know she's waiting for me...when I get called home.

I know it's a hard as hell think to do, Michele...*hugs* You have to do, what you know is best to do, in your heart.

My heart is with you darlin it is the hardest thing to do but you are doing it out of love for her, to give her some peace and freedom from pain. Ten years ago I had the same decision with my beautiful Sara my long haired german shepherd. we had such a life together and she was such a peaceful dignified dog...but she had hip dysplasia and the steroids that she was on started to not work, and she also lost control of herself.
One day, four days after my son was born i came out and found her lying in excretement in the cold and we looked at each other...god 10 years later I can still feel that look...like help me.....so we did exactly what you are doing...called the vet, booked it in, spent the last days with her...
we almost didn't let the vet in, my daughter and I held her while they gave her the needle and she was gone...but so peacefully, so quietly...with dignity. We had the most beuatiful passing over ceremony, buried her with her bowl, her blanket and food, and as we read a poem and opened the champagne at the grave a cloud passed over the moon and we said...there she goes. Unconditional love is a beautiful thing....I have learnt so much from the dogs in my life...it took me years to get another one...but he was his own special person too....as is the crazy shitzu we have now...

:( Oh, I am so sorry, Michele.

I know that I am going to have to go through that with my kitty, Joey, someday unless he outlives me. I can't imagine how hard it will be.

Everybody's stories on your post are making me cry. It is amazing how strong interspecies love can be.

I am so sorry.

:(

Mollie and our last batch of Kittens....all given to wonderful homes, we even came up one short.



Michele, thank you for sharing the pictures.

Thanks SG

Those kittens loved her....though for the most part she was unable to walk at the time, if those kittens went near her, they were sure to get a bath from her! HA

SHe loved those kittens and you could tell as folks came to pick them up she was eyeing them all carefully. I know she probably thought of them as really hers...Oh and they would just play all over her too. Shes been pretty quiet this weekend, mostly relaxed. I dont mean to be gross, but more its like telling myself over and over again...I need to do this. I got her out this morning to do her business, where she had a good pee, then a friend came over to get the girls for a soccer game. WHen I returned she had gone poo and managed to lay down in it... :(
This cant be pleasant for her either...I know im doing the best thing and all the kind words here have helped a lot to making me feel better about this decision of mine.

All I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart...

Michele

My heart is broken for you.... I am crying my eyes out. These beautiful fur babies are so important to us, they are members of our families and to lose them, hurts no less than losing a friend or family member. This has to be one of the hardest decisions you could ever have to make. I haven't had to make such a decision, but I did lose my precious Daisy 3 years ago, a sweet little furball. I wish you peace and comfort with your decision and am sending hugs your way for you and your family.

I'm so sorry.


{{{{HUGS}}}}

I just thought Id share with you how special Mollie is....

Last night my ex-father-in-law came over to say good bye to Mollie....

He commented on how if you didnt know her, youd think (because of her breed) that she was viscious...(she was if you came near her "kids" in her "yard" and she didnt know you) but probably one of the most loving dogs you could ever meet. My oldest son who lives away from home sat just petting her last night for a good long time, and as he left with his grandfather (ex-father-in-law), his grandpa was in tears.....

I wish I had pictures but we used to have piglets who would get out there pen and follow Mollie everywhere, so funny, this huge rott and 8 little piglets running after her....and she loved it :D .

Michelle I went through the same thing you are going through. On May 3rd of this year I had my Rocky put to sleep because of the exact same problem than your Mollie. My son Christopher who is 20 didnt want me to do it. I had to wait for him to give his ok. Rocky couldnt walk anymore and Chris had to carry him up and down the stairs to go outside because he couldnt walk anymore. He was 12. German/lab.
My heart really goes out to you. I totally understand. And yes you are doing the right thing. As hard as it may seems right now it is the right thing to do. My vet told me very nicely 'you are doing this cause you love him'. I must admit I didnt really felt that way at that moment but now I know he was right. Rocky was unhappy, I could see it in his eyes. He couldnt get up anymore :(. He couldnt do nothing.
Be strong. I'll be thinking of you and Mollie.
(((((big hug)))) to both of you
If you are able to and I know you might have a change of heart at the last moment, be there with her when that moment happens. Believe me, its heart wrenching BUT after you wont regret it cause she will have the people she loves around her in her last moments. Thats how I saw it with Rocky. I was there, Chris too and my cousin came with us.
Ok, enough or we going to cry even more
((((((hugs again))))))

I'm thinking of you today, Michele.

(((hugs)))

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and the day you will be having today.
Nothing anyone can say will take away the pain in your heart.......just know that many of us have been where you are......and, for all us animal lovers,.......we will all be there again at some point :(
Guess we could all get a Macaw, they live to be 70 or so. I love them but they are annoying as all he**.........Nothing beats the love and joy that a good dog brings to our lives though
Take care of yourself today, and know that thoughts and prayers are with you.
Blessings, Tinydancer

My toughts are with you today
(((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Honk!! :(

Thanks for your thoughts....

Im sitting here waiting for my ex to come get us...Ive decided Im going to work after...somehow sitting alone in my house without her here doesnt sound very pleasant...yet coming home to a house without her doesnt sound pleasant either....I know shell be a peace....

And shes got all kinds of people who know her and dont know her wishing her the best....


We love her true!!

Honk!! :(


Thanks to you too DB....

Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends, the animals.
Especially for animals who are suffering; for any that are
lost or deserted or frightened or hungry;
for all that must be put to death.
We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
and for those who deal with them, we ask a
a heart of compassion and gentle hands and kindly words.
Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals,
and so to share the blessings of the merciful.

Michelle,

God knew where to send Molly for love in this life. Animals are not afraid of death.
When you let her go, send her with love. She has a journey to make. And she
needs to go with your love and blessing. You will meet again, later, and it will be with less pain. We are only apart from our loved ones for a short while.
You are so lucky to share such beautiful love. Love sometimes means we have to say goodbye too.

Michelle, my heart goes out to you. I feel some pain too for you. I also relive my love lost with my animals too. The pictures made me really fall apart feeling your loss.

Love,

Donna

I read your post on another thread that she went to sleep peacefully. Just wanted to say (((((( HUGS )))))) to you. I know how hard that was for you. But, you did the right thing for her.

Peace to you Michele.

Just sending you warm thoughts and a giant ((((((((HUG))))))))
~phos

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they each miss someone very special, someone who was left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, he breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into those trusting eyes, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...

*Author Unknown*

Thanks again EVERYONE!!!!

I know Mollie is at peace and though emotional a day as its been...Im strangely at peace too...

Thanks again EVERYONE!!!!

I know Mollie is at peace and though emotional a day as its been...Im strangely at peace too...

I understand how you feel Michele. That is exactly how I felt too.
((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Thanks AGAIN to everyone! Between all of you here and my friends at home Ive felt really really cared and loved while going through what I was...still am. Her spot was sorely missed this morning when waking up. But again Ill say its almost peaceful, knowing shes not going to suffer anymore, I was thinking coming up my steps last night, how uncomfortable it must of been for HER, me barely able to carry this dog up and down my steps.

I ended my night last night at a Day of the Dead dinner party where we were asked to bring an offering for the alter....I brought her collar. It was really wonderful, the alter ended up being beautful with momentos of other beings who had passed on in the world and who still were important to the people there. (I didnt say that very eloquently, did I?)

I dont know if the other animals notice any change...Lucy, my youngest dog at 6 was always doing this submissive routive with Mollie...Would drive Mollie nuts, with lucy sticking her hind end in her face haha Mollie would grumple and growl at her...I asked Socksie if shes up to the task of replacing Mollie, but ermm...you just have to know Socksie....her life is just about play! A 8 year old puppy! (though she also is protective if needed)

So at least we are all OK, nothing like I thought I would feel like...I just feel at peace for her.

And again...thanks.

M

I am sorry for your loss.

:(

My deepest condolences, Michelle. I'm sorry I'm late posting these:


FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND
You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.

In Memory of Asta, Feb. 1997
(c) Karen Clouston

----------------------

A Dog's Plea
Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me learn.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
Please take me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domesticated animal, no longer accustomed to bitter elements.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger. I ask no greater glory than the privledge of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.
And, my friend, when I am very old and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having any fun. Please see that my trusting life is taken gently. I shall leave this earth knowing with the last breath I draw that my fate was always safest in your hands.
~Author Unknown

Thank you Chatterbox

I got a call today from the Vet saying Mollie was back....Im happy about that. At least I know shell be at home. Ill probably scatter her ashes over the hillside she loved to sunbathe in..... :) She was a very special dog and I miss her immensely!

Michele,

I don't know how I missed this thread before...but I'll make this short and simple and just say I'm so sorry...and ((((HUGS))))) to you. :(

So sad. :(

Sorry to hear about your dog, but it will get better, eventually. :(

I had my dog basically from when I was 2 or 3 years old, until I was 15 or 16. She was my best friend. I haven't had any real pets since then (except fish) just because it's too hard to let go of them when they die. :( I get too attached.