izabel228
11-01-2005, 11:59 PM
Hi...this is my first time posting...i was wondering if anyone could give me some advice, i really have no one else to ask because i know they would get upset. I just recently broke up with a boyfriend of 6 yrs who is my age (24), well he broke up with me. I am really heartbroken...but as time goes on ive been accepting it. Lately i've been getting a lot of attention from an older man who is a neighbor, he is great....really nice and kind and i love talking to him. I find him so attractive, and he is the first man that i been able to get butterflies since i first met my ex. I find him sexually attractive too...but the only thing that concerns me is his age. I'm 24 and hes 52. What do you guys think of that gap? Also how do i know if hes interested? I mean he flirts with me all the time, but i dont want to make a fool of myself bc i will have to see him everyday....how would i attract him more?
very confused :confused:
izabel
adriael
11-02-2005, 05:12 AM
I am 21 with an OM 55. If you like him I suggest let him know. The worst that can happen is he can say he's not interested and if so you will know that you at least tried. However, I doubt he will say that. Age gap relationships can be quite difficult but so can any relationship. Just know that you would take on an extra inherent stress in a relationship like this unless you could learn to be completely unaffected by it. I know that I have not yet mastered this completely and tend to feel doubts about my relationship from time to time. What matters though is if you are happy. If this guy makes you happy everything else is irrelevant. Now, whether you let yourself really enjoy the happiness that he offers despite social pressures and society's judgements is another story.....
I am trying to be as realistic as possible with you. Lots of people on this forum are incredibly happy in their relationships and others break up with their OM/YW for reasons sometimes having to do with the age gap and many times just because of other reasons that people have for breaking up with people in general. Good luck.....don't worry about the awkwardness of him being your neighbor...this is a side note to pursuing your own happiness.
Wallypop
11-02-2005, 05:32 AM
As a reference point, Loripop is 25, I'm 58. So I don't think your gap is so bad. :)
Adriael makes some good points... I'd add that you might want to consider that he may be just as concerned about making a fool of himself as you are.
One of the watchwords of our relationship is "open and honest" and it's good to start there. While I might not suggest you walk up to him and say "you turn me on," he'll need to know that you are interested in being more than neighbors. Why not suggest something relatively innocent... it's not unusual for neighbors to get together in some form?
If it doesn't work out, remember this: embarassing yourself a little is a small price to pay for the chance of meeting the love of your life. I shudder when I think how easy it would have been for Loripop and I to have ended our relationship before it started. To some extent we tried but our love overpowered our efforts.
Sometimes these things are a simple matter of allowing it to happen.
leety
11-03-2005, 10:47 AM
Hi, and welcome to Ageless! I second the advice offered so far. Your budding friendship with your neighbor sounds like fun! And from your description, he seems to be behaving as if he is interested. I would suggest inviting him to "grab a cup of coffee or do lunch" sometime. That's pretty non-threatening and lets him know you are interested in exploring the friendship. Then just let things happen. Be open, be thoughtful, and you'll know if you want to keep going.
As adriael stated, you probably will have to deal with some worries and doubts within the relationship and probably some judgements/comments from the outside. But if you really find your soulmate (and anything is possible!) you'll manage those things. All relationships have their tender points.
Good luck! :)
