Got it hot for teacher...

Hello, I'm new here! I need advice... I'm 25, a full time student in college and a single mom to an 18 month old daughter. In the last 6 months, I have been talking to a teacher at my school. At first, it was just friendly talk, but I've realized that I like him a lot! He's 43, divorced, no kids(though he wants kids). I think he likes me too, but he can't really let me know because it school policy not to have relationships with students. I don't think I will ever have him as a teacher again and I only have a year left there.
He's changed his mind on a few things recently: When I first stared talking to him, he said he wouldn't marry again, but now he said he wants to. He originally told me he wouldn't date anyone more than 5 to 7 years younger or older, but he moved that number to 15 years younger....I'm 17 years younger, but whats 2 years :rolleyes: ?? He jogs to catch up with me in the halls, he holds the door open for me even if i'm way behind him, etc.
I've fallen for him and I wish I could talk to him about it. I'm shy about things like that, but also with school policy...I don't want to jeapordise his job or my education. I want to wait and see, but thats a year of my life that I don't want wasted for nothing if nothing comes from this. I hope someone can help me! thanks! ;)

How cool! I bet he does like you, it sounds like it anyway from how he acts when he sees you!

I would think as long as you aren't a student of his it would be ok wouldn't it? :D I say flirt with him anyway and see if he asks you out.

I think as long as I am going to that school, there can't be any type of teacher-student relationships. As far as I know, I'm not going to have anymore classes with him, but he does teach a few computer classes that I may still need to take. He hasn't been teaching them for about a year, but you never know when they'll ask him to do that again.
I'm hoping that the flirting and the dressing cute for school thing pays off, but damn its going to be a year! I hope it's worth the wait! :D

Mmmm...I've had so many crushes on teachers that it's not even funny! :D

I say keep doing what you're doing....obviously there's something there.....I never talked to my teachers about marriage or knew anything that personal about them!

If it comes down to it...yall could just keep it on the downlow and be really careful.

jesique.

yeah I've had crushes on many teachers too. When I was 18 I dated my english teacher after i graduated. He was only 10 years older and the relationship didnt last that long.
This new teacher and talk about many personal things. I never even did that with the one that dated before! So it must be something.

I am in a similar boat there. I posted here a while ago about it. I think I am really falling for this man; it is beyond a crush that's for sure. We have talked about personal things and gone out to coffee/lunch so I *did* get the chance to get to know him on a personal level. The chemistry between us is undeniably there. I am his student again though and it is really difficult.

Just the other day we met at a local reading and he introduced me to a writer as his "friend", not as his student. :)

And I agree with the above posters, it sounds like there is definitely attraction from his side as well.

I think that I am way beyond crush status too. I just wish that I could talk to him about it. I asked him for coffee a few months ago and he declined because of the policy at my college. I'm wondering if he'd go now because we've gotten to know each other better. I want to know him outside of school. I can feel the chemistry, I just want to be out from under the confines of school.

How much of an age difference is there between the 2 of you?

The age gap is quite a wide one, although when I am around him, I do not see it at all. All I see is him - a wonderful man.

There are 39 years between us. I am 21 and he is 60. I was initially pretty shocked to discover that it was actually possible for me to start falling for a 60 year old man. (as a side note: He does not look 60 at all.)

I have never felt this way before, but the present circumstances make it impossible for our relationship to move further. But we just click on so many different levels, it's quite fascinating. Oh the human heart - it can really surprise you.

Just a comment about the policy at your college: So profs at your college aren't allowed to have coffee/lunch with their student? Or is it just not recommended? My prof (he is my Literature Professor) asked me via email if I would like to have coffee with him once the semester is over (that was back in March), and of course I accepted. Now I am taking one of his courses again, and it's strange because from April till September the shackles of the whole "Student-Professor" relationship were beginning to dissipate. Then they had to reappear, again. Although - somehow they never did completely. And we are now stuck in this in-between world that is driving me absolutely mad.

*sigh* I really feel for you, I do. It's soooooooooooooo difficult.

Do you keep in touch with him over email? Maybe you could ask him again if he feels like grabbing a coffee some time and see what he says?

I am dating my ex-teacher. 34 years older! It can be really difficult to keep things a secret on top of the age gap. I have to wait until I graduate to exhale. Its a good thing that I am abroad currently and we are LD otherwise we would constantly be running into people we know. Sometimes, school policies are more lax than you think about dating students. Like at my school if you are over 21 and not currently his student than it is no longer a problem. However, if anyone finds out that it started while you were a student it can lead to a disaster. This was definitely my case. No disaster but the relationship started while I was his student. In my experience the problems with my relationship are:

1) the age difference
2) the stigma around student/teacher relationships can lead to a lot of prejudice from others who find out how you met.
3) keeping things low profile and secretive


Good things are:

He's a fantastic, knowledgeable person, who treats me amazingly and adores me. We get along very well and enjoy being around each other. We are passionate and have a great sex life etc. etc. etc.

So, just being realistic and giving you the heads up!

Adriael, I remember you.

I remember reading about your experience made me feel much better. :)

By the way, we posted at the same time! hehe.

haha, that's funny? So how's the romantic pursuit going? Do you still want a relationship? Do you know how he feels any more clearly?

I definitely still want a relationship. In fact as the days go by I find myself liking him more and more.

As for his feelings towards me -- Well, my instincts tell me that he feels the same way. We are just on the same wavelength about so many different things. So many of our outlooks on life coincide. And when we are around each other, we both just light up. He is always smiling, and even during class he'll look over at me and smile. There is something so beautiful about it, but also very very painful. It's painful to just walk out of class like we don't even know each other.

When writers read, often times we laugh at the same spots. When we discuss a piece of literature, often times we arrive at the same conclusions.

And his body language too I think gives him away. Like the day before yesterday there was this reading we both went to. I told him about it, and I said that he better be going as well because I am going. :) I came first and sat down. And all of the sudden I hear a voice, "Hey, I recognize that hair!". And it's him. He was there with two friends so they sat behind me. I turned around so we could talk and placed both my arms on the back of the bench (the reading was at church). When we were talking, he would touch my arm. I may be reading into this a bit too much, but I think it's a good thing? Heh. :)

Also this one day at university, he was supposed to lend me a tape. So after class he calls out my name and asks me if I would still like the tape. When we are walking to his office, he seems rather nervous. When he reaches for the door to open it for me, he completely misses the door handle. Then in his office, he can't find the tape. And I am finding it all so adorable. :)

Then also we ran into each other at this other reading and he emailed me and said that it was really nice to see me there. We still email each other back and fourth.

*sigh* I don't know -- From our conversations it is obvious that we just click. Then in person there is this tension between us, although we are comfortable around each other. I really don't think that this is in my imagination.

But yeah, sorry for the ramble....I'll stop typing now, hehe.

its been too long girl!!!! you need to make a move!!!!! I am serious. Something that says, I like you!!!!!!!

Pleas, don't let your lust for this professor obscure your judgement.

I had a fling, of sorts, with a professor. I initiated, regrettably.

It ended with him hanging up on me becuase he assumed I wanted a "future together" since I told him I separated from my boyfriend. It really hurt, not the rejection, but his coldness about it.

However, I thought/suspected that this person was an ******* from the minute I walked into his classroom.

If you have any qualms about this man, don't do it. It can be very very degrading to be done by and then discarded like yesterdays news.

It could be wonderful and I hope it is. Just wanted to offer you the darker outcomes of such liasons.

GOOD LUCK!

Hi everybody,

Brand new member here - I've been lurking for a while, but seeing this thread made me want to join the party for real. I'm 25 and live in the UK.

In the autumn of 2003, I started my BA degree. On my first day, I met this lecturer who I fell for instantly. I suppose it was more of a crush back then, I just found him strangely attractive with his refreshing personality, deep voice and intense eyes. It didn't take many days before I found out that we had many things in common, and it was clear that he favoured me over my peers - sounds overly sentimental, I know, but I believe we knew from the start we had an invisible bond, that we were soulmates. However, I knew that he was married to a beautiful woman and that nothing could ever happen. Also, he's almost 20 years my senior and didn't think he'd be interested anyway.

I tried to get over it. After six months I still wasn't over him. We would often talk for ages, about everything and anything. We kept growing closer. It was actually quite painful because I knew there was no light in the end of the tunnell. Eventually I took a drastic step - a guy I had been friends with for a while wanted to go out with me and I agreed, although I was not in love with him. Stupidly I hoped it would help me get over my feelings for this man. It did not, and I know what I did wasn't fair to the other guy. However, my boyfriend didn't treat me nice at all, he made me very unhappy and still I stayed with him for ten months, nine months longer than I should have...

I'd hang out in his office, sometimes talking for hours. Part of me was happy, part of me extremely frustrated, but the joy of his company outwheighed the negative aspects of the situation. We had each others' mobile phone numbers, and in May this year we started texting each other, talking about normal things, but it was not until then it started to become evident that he felt more for me than I thought. One of his first texts said "You are special to me, it's a connection thing." and "You make an old man very happy.". We started opening up more on a personal level. I told him about my struggles with depression and he told me about family troubles and things like that. Soon I'd hang out with him daily. Summer of this year I continued going to university every day, just to spend time with him. Slowly, text messages would reveal that we both had feelings for each other. Turns out, he fell for me on the first day we met too. I also learned that he was very unhappy in his marriage. I was so confused. My feelings for him had grown so strong but at the same time I value marriage very highly and I didn't want to be involved with a married man. But the damage was already done - we were having an emotional affair.

We tried to forget about it all, but it was easier said than done. We were also best friends and couldn't cut off contact. We depended on each other for support and comfort. A few months ago, he told me that his wife and him had talked and that he might move out soon, though he hasn't yet. I understand that he's started the process of ending his marriage. He says I'm not a reason or solution, which I'm thankful for. (This is not an excuse, but just to draw a picture, his wife doesn't talk to him, when they do, they just fight - she has denied him sex since November last year and he's LONG since stopped trying. They don't sleep in the same bed either. Their son seems to be what's kept them together.)

I'm not going to lie, we have kissed a few times and once almost had sex. Because of what I feel about marriage, it feels wrong, but the years of tension took control of us both. And we still yearn for each other. He's my everything, the only person in my life who understands me and appreciates me for who I am. He says he loves my brain, that he admires me, that he would like to be married to someone like me. He even asks me for advice on running his course. I love his heart, his mind, everything about him. I look up to him, I'm his fan, and he's truly my soulmate.

Only time will tell what will happen. If he's not with his wife when I graduate in May, I hope we can end three years of unfulfilled love.

I apologise for the rant, sometimes it's just nice to vent... Thanks for listening.

He just said that HE LOVES ME!

Claryce, I think he likes you. Your only obstacle is the school policy. I'd suggest that you take a long time getting to know him as a person - by that time you could have finished college and go straight into a "legit" relationship. Trust me, starting something while you're his student is not something I'd recommend. We have to keep up the student/teacher facade which is not easy when all you want to do is to be in each other's arms.

Good luck - make this a beautiful thing.

its been too long girl!!!! you need to make a move!!!!! I am serious. Something that says, I like you!!!!!!!

I know!! It's been 10 months now since we first met, and about half a year since I admitted to myself I am really starting to feel strongly for this man. I just don't know whether I should do something before I am out of his class. It's only a month and a half more or so until this semester is over so maybe I can wait until then? We've already said to each other that once the semester is over, we'll go for lunch together (again) so maybe I can just take it from there.

Ahhhhh!! This is driving me absolutely mad. I like him so darn much.

We have to keep up the student/teacher facade which is not easy when all you want to do is to be in each other's arms.

Good luck - make this a beautiful thing.


I know you did not address this to me, but heck do I know this feeling.
*sigh*

It hurts so damn much, yet I don't think I have experienced something more beautiful than this.


Anyhow -- I am happy for you that he loves you!! :)

I suppose it's addressed to anyone in this horrible-wonderful situation...

Anyway - yes, I'm lucky that he loves me, but those are only feelings and I don't know what he actually wants me to be in his life.

So I did something yesterday that I perhaps shouldn't have, but still I
think it was the right thing to do. I was overcome with the fear of
being just "the other woman", as recent texts have been quite saucy. So
I texted him and said

"I need you to be 100% honest with me. I'm very scared of being
tangled into a situation I can't handle. I care too much about you to
be an eternal secret side dish, if you will. Guess I have no idea what
you want for the future, that's all. Sorry if this is something you'd
rather not talk about... xxx"

Surprise, surprise, no reply. I later texted again (d'oh!) to kind of
lighten the situation up a bit, told him about my day, but ended up
adding:

"Sorry if I scared you off, don't want to pressure you, hope you
understand my concerns."

Was I right in doing this? I've not hassled him for information about
his marriage situation or what he really wants from me, but I'm
starting to love him so deeply I can't handle a big disappointment.
It's better to be brutal now than later. He said that he loved me, but
I can't automatically assume that means he want to share his life with me.

You guys are lucky to be in love with a bit more available men..!

Ive just got engaged on the 5th september to my Tutor at college! Im 19 and he's 58, and we are totally in love and our relationship is going really well!
Thats all just thought i would say! :) :D

I don't think that I'll ever be his student again, but since there is a slim possiblity, the school will still look down upon it. Since I asked him for coffee months ago, we have gotten to know each other more and more. Monday was his bday, but I didn't go to school since it was Halloween (had to take my daughter out) . He wasnt there either apparently. But on tuesday, I gave him a card...anomously. I knew he'd know it was from me. I gave it to him like that for a few reasons. I didn't want it to fall into the wrong hands, I'm also very shy and i didn't know how he was going to react. Wed, I kinda left it up to him to come up to me, but he didn't. Thursday, he was smiling at me, winking, brushing up against me in the halls, flirting. Then later, he saw me in the hall, didnt mention it at all. We just talked about other things.
Like I said, I am really shy and giving him that card (which basically told how I felt), was WAY out of character for me. He does that to me I guess, I would have never done that before.
I have one more year and I can't stand it!!!! lol

Lovemyjohn - congratulations on your engagement! I hope your marriage will be a happy one.

Claryce - that was a very sweet gesture. I'm sure he appreciated it. It sounds like he likes you, so don't give up - but be patient! Believe me, I know the meaning of the word! It's tough, it can hurt so much, but when you've found a true soulmate, a year or two of hurt is well worth it. My guy's birthday was on Thursday, actually, and I gave him a few things that I knew would mean a lot to him. I hid them around campus and gave him anonymous clues. I too was aware that they could end up in wrong hands - and one of them did! Thank god I had the sense not to put my name on it. But he knew it was from me and he was over the moon, he said it was the best present anybody had ever given to him.

Anyway, he finally replied to my text, and basically he seemed a bit hurt that I would think that I was nothing more than a side dish to him. He explained how much he cared for me, but if that's what I feel, then we should end it here and now, because that's not right. I was glad to hear this and explained that I never thought that I was, but I've been wrong about people in the past and I just think it's better to know for sure than to wonder. Anyway, we're going to have a proper talk about things, but it seems like it's gonna work out for the better.

If he doesn't acknowledge me sometimes, does it mean that I scared him away with the card. I mean last thursday he was flirting with me, but since then, he's kinda distant. Maybe he's just trying to figure out what to do next? Or what he can do? :confused:

Claryce, I am in a similar boat as you. I emailed my prof (we email each other back and fourth, as I said) back and I think the last email was a little bit too sentimental (even for me) perhaps, and he hasn't emailed me back yet. I didn't say anything too out there, and we have had quite personal conversations.. I am cofnused because I saw him in class today and yesterday (today he was a guest speaker in another one of my classes) and he is being nice to me.

I am confused. During class he looks at me, makes eye contact and smiles. And today when he came in to my class (as guest speaker) as he passed me he tapped me on the shoulder, smiled and said hey. He couldn't talk more because he was late and had to begin teaching...

But yeah, I don't know -- maybe he is just thinking about how to respond.

But the difference with our situations I guess is that *my* prof hasn't been acting distant in person, but over email.

*sigh*

But when I think about it, I've been getting mixed signals this whole time.

So, while I am not of much help, I can say I *do* know how you feel (at least somewhat).

Girls, I've found more often than not, that my OM needs time to himself when facing a difficult situation. Guys don't talk to find a solution, they retract. In these cases, the difficult situations don't necessarily mean bad situations - it seems like love is in the air for both of you. But remember, while they might enjoy the idea of you, when you let them know what you feel, the reality of the situation hits them. While they might be very happy that you have feelings for them, they now must consider other problems that they potentially have deal with, such as age gap issues and professional issues.

Give them time to think things through. While us girls like to talk things over together, guys seem to prefer going it alone. It's best to respect that. (Why do you think the majority of active members here are female?)

Try not to worry - I know, it's easier said than done. I hate waiting for his reactions, and I always fear the worst - though I always worry for no reason.

We went out for a beer last night, just hanging out talking shop, really. He's my best friend and it's great that we can talk about common interests for hours. I got a kiss when we said goodbye, mmm, I completely melt when he touches me. He's not one who likes talking about very personal issues, but he mentioned that he was looking for a place to live, so I guess all is fine.

After posting that last comment, he seems to have come back around. I know what you're saying Marianna, about guys needing to figure out their own stuff on their own. I too always think the worst is going to come, but usually I'm wrong.
Last night wasn't anything special, but we just talked like nothing was different. I'm still trying to figure him out sometimes. It seems like he likes me, but then other times its like he's doing a great job of hiding it. I know he's in a difficult situation and has to remain professional. I sometimes just want to bring it up, just to see.
Also, I have this friend who goes to my school and she knows how I feel about my teacher. She's 19 and very immature. We have a lot of the same classes, we don't have much in common, but she says I remind her of her sister that died. I love her like a little sister and all, but she's so immature that she brings up all sorts of inappropriate topics when my teacher is around. I get embaressed about it at times and she always wants to go with me and talk to him. I know she doesn't like him like I do. I just think she likes to bug me. I just don't want him to think that just because she's my friend, that I'm immature like that as well. What should I do??

Hi guys....sorta new here and dont get much time to spend on the computer lately. I was in almost the same exact situation but i was in highschool....fell in love with my homeroom teacher.... and almost six years later....here we are MARRiED! i am 23 and he is 53. i would say to be cautious when your on campus but otherwise....go for it!!! When our relation started to surface i had big time problems at school...but the thing is for one they couldn't proove it and two, i didn't think it was any of their business. But we kept it cool....Sounds like he is in to you and vice versa! Good Luck ! :)

I haven't talked to my teacher in about 5 days because it seemed like he needed his space. He seemed to be avoiding me too. Yesterday, I went in his class after school. We talked, like nothing was different. It was nice.
My car broke down last week and my ex picks me up and I think that bothers him. The only reason my ex picks me up is because he watches our daughter while I'm in school. My teacher asked me if I was involved with my ex in a romantic sense still. I told him no and that i was completely over him. He smiled and said that was great. I told him that my ex was kinda jealous of the relationship I have with him and that since he's known about us talking, he's told me he wants to marry me. I basically told my ex that he had his chance with the whole getting married thing and that it was too late.
My OM seemed glad to hear that. So i guess leaving the card and just the flirting in the halls worked. He just needed his time to figure things out :D !

There you go - give them some time to sort things out in their heads and it tends to work out fine! He really does seem into you. I hope things work out for the two of you, I'm sure you'd make a nice couple.

I think he likes me too, but he can't really let me know because it school policy not to have relationships with students.

You are sure in your feelings and it is great, but what are his. You need to find out what is really going there. Well, there is a way to get you know about his feeling without jeopardizing you and him. Know, when man in love they will find the way to let you know :)

He jogs to catch up with me in the halls, he holds the door open for me even if i'm way behind him, etc.

Well, first of all it is nice when teacher opens door for you. I know your feelings; I have teachers who open door for me, although I think about this as elementary etiquette rules.

I've fallen for him and I wish I could talk to him about it. I'm shy about things like that, but also with school policy...I don't want to jeapordise his job or my education.

I do not think it is smart. Give a time and you will see, otherwise you will be in not quite “sure” position.

I want to wait and see,

That is the best choice you can do.

but thats a year of my life that I don't want wasted for nothing if nothing comes from this. I hope someone can help me! thanks!

You are not living this life for him; you are living life for your self. So live the way that makes you happy. Why you have to lock yourself, just on him, maybe there are some one special and better than he is. Look other way, maybe this is going make him to talk more seriously. However, do not mix first impression with real feelings.

Good luck!

Hey everyone, I'm new here, and I really need some advice on what to do about my feelings for my ex-teacher. I am 19, he is 34 and single, and we shall call him D.

It was quite unusal how we met: he took up his teaching post at my school a year ago, following the suspension of my former tutor. D used to be in the same school as well around 15 years ago, and he knows my former tutor very well as he he was his teacher back then and they have kept in contact. Through him D knew that I am a pianst, and when we first met he said he ought to hear me play sometimes (he's a musician as well). Music formed the basis of my affection for him. At the beginning D was always very friendly and gave me extra help on my history course because he knew I was preoccupied by the school musical and thus lagging behind in work. He was really understanding and very caring, and two weeks later I asked him to be my tutor to replace my original one as I thought he would be a very good at that (he was!), and he would be able to help me out with my school work and everything else. In tutorials we used to spend hours talking about many things, sometimes even personal things, and I really enjoyed the time we spent together. He always did these really lovely, little gestures, like lending me countless books, taking our class to his favourite church in the countryside, gave me encouraging words written on postcards before big concerts etc. We were both in the many choirs in school as well so we see each other quite often after lessons. He always accompanied me on the piano whenever I sang or played the cello in performances and competitions, and he was just the emotional support I needed through the year. Funny how he also caused me so much pain as well.

I didn't realised I have fallen for him utterly until after three weeks of Christmas of not seeing him. It has been a really painful year for me, because I know there can't be anything between us due to all sorts of child protection policies and for ethical issues etc. I vowed to myself that I will wait till I am no longer part of the school, so maybe that's why I never made it clear that I have feelings for him. It has been four months since graduation, and I have now started my undergraduate degree, but still I am chickening out and not telling him how I feel. The last time I went back to school was a month ago, and he was really happy seeing me again and we spent hours again talking about things, about university life, my summer, literature and music, just like old times. He took me to his favourite cafe (which I really like as well) and we talked more over coffee. However I guess I wasn't myself because I was just in the beginnings of a flu and when we parted, I think I somehow put him off by not saying goodbye properly and left. But I think that was also because I felt really sad about leaving, not knowing when I will see him again (my uni and school are miles apart). I am due to go back in early December to attend a school concert, but he doesn't know about that yet, what should I do? Should I tell him? I don't know how he will react, or am I just scared of being rejected? :confused:

Sorry about the long post, but I feel much better now having told someone, hope you are still awake to give me some advice :)

Yup sweetie, I think you said it yourself, I think you're just afraid of rejection. There's nothing wrong or unusual about that. But if you really feel this strongly about him, don't you think you'd kick yourself if you end up asking yourself "what if" years from now? From what you write, there's nothing stopping you from going out - you're no longer a student of his. Do you email each other? Remember, if he's interested, it's probably more difficult for him, as your ex teacher, to make the first move - he would probably find it inappropriate. Who knows? He might be very relieved if you asked him out for a coffee or something. Perhaps you could ask him out to a concert that you know he'd enjoy? If that's a bit too radical for you, you could just show him that you're interested in him and his life by simply staying in touch and taking an active interest in his life.

The thought of rejection is a tough thing to deal with. But honestly, what have you got to lose? Not much, really.

I really hope we are not that far apart. He works near Brighton, whereas I am in Bristol, a fair distance really and it is quite expensive to travel by train these days. I sent him some music with a note today, which sort of hinted that he really means something to me, and I do care about how he feels, especially thinking that I have offended him last month by my terrible manners when I left him. Does that sound okay, or too sentimental? Nevertheless I will still be making a trip back to school at least once before Christmas, and I think I will tell him, so I will see what happens then. I'm so excited and so scared at the same time!

Ladies,

I usually keep to the OW/YM side of the board, but as the subject of this thread is of particular interest to me, I thought I'd weigh in. I hope you don't mind if I share a perspective from the other side of the teacher's desk.

I teach part-time a small college, where I also worked full-time in the library. About a year ago I developed a HUGE crush on an extremely attractive male student. As he was the one who originally sought me out, I feel safe in saying that the attraction was mutual.

We became very friendly over the course of the last school year, with him visiting me regularly, even when he had no other business in the library. Our attraction was strong, and in any other setting I would have pursued my interest more aggressively, but I feared the possible repercussions of a student/teacher involved in our close-knit campus community.

He is now in his senior year, and though we're still very friendly (and I'm still very attracted to him), I suspect his interest has started to wane, and I must now come to terms with the fact that nothing more may come of us. Despite my disappointment, I have to say that in a way I'm glad for the additional boundary that our college community set up between us. It gave us a chance to get to know each other without the messiness of a premature involvement that could have turned out to be more painful than what I feel now. My heart is bruised, but not broken, and more importantly both his learning experience and my professional reputation are still intact. Moreover the friendship that we do share is one built on mutual liking and respect, and one that we both can look back on with fondness, not regret.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the prohibitions against student/teacher involvements (whether explicit or implied) are there for the protection of all parties involved, and that they can work for if you can manage to be patient. Use the time between now and graduation (when you can openly pursue a relationship) to really get to know the man you love. Too often we get swept off in a high-powered sexual attraction before we can find out if the other person is really right for us. If you can invest in this time, and not just mark off the days, you stand a much better chance of making a good relationship decision.

Thanks for listening and good luck to you all.

[QUOTE=divine_ms_m]Ladies,

I suspect his interest has started to wane, and I must now come to terms with the fact that nothing more may come of us.

Indeed, time is best advisor. Completely agree with you.

He is now in his senior year, and though we're still very friendly (and I'm still very attracted to him), I suspect his interest has started to wane, and I must now come to terms with the fact that nothing more may come of us..

Hi divine_ms_m,

reading your post was very interesting. Thanks for posting. :)

I just wanted to say that it could be that he simply thinks that nothing will come of your situation because you have not reacted the way that indicates definite interest? I know that for me it is very difficult to keep showing my interest if the other side is not reciprocating fully.

I think if you still have feelings for this guy (and from your post, I gather you do), it may be a good idea not to let this slide.

:)

…it could be that he simply thinks that nothing will come of your situation because you have not reacted the way that indicates definite interest?

I think if you still have feelings for this guy (and from your post, I gather you do), it may be a good idea not to let this slide.

:)


Thanks so much for your imput, Romantic.

I would like nothing better than to fan the flame of his waning desire, :rolleyes: but I have more working against me than just school policy.

The primary obstacle these days is a lack of time and opportunity. I've recently taken a new position at campus that has taken me out of the library and into administrative offices. While students still frequent my office, and I've expressly invited him to come see me, this new atmosphere is not nearly as conducive to the frequent and casual interactions that we once enjoyed. I'm much busier in this new position than I used to be, as is he now that he's a senior. We still see each other around campus, and while the affection between us is evident, I honestly don't know how to move it in a more forward direction. He knows that I care for him, and I hope that as graduation approaches he will finally approach me, but I guess I'm just trying to prepare myself should things not turn out as I hope.

Thanks again Romantic, and good luck in your own situation. Stay encouraged, and above all keep your perspective.

:)

Update! Its not a huge thing...but to me it is! He's been a lot more flirtatious and he's the one that starts the conversations, when before it was me starting the talking...etc. We've gotten a lot closer. He has told me that he has feelings for me, but there's nothing he can do right now. Thats the downside, but other than that, I'm totally extatic! :D
So at least i know my waiting is not for nothing!

I haven't been here in a long time...school's been hectic and the holidays and stuff.
ANyways, we had our holiday break for a little more than 2 weeks which meant I didn't get to see him :( . But on tuesday, when we got back, he definately was happy to see me. In fact, we literally ran into each other..."by accident" lol! :D

My school does have a huge thing against student/teacher relations. There is only one person that works at the school that knows how I feel about him. She said that he could fired for any relations with me or anyone at school for that matter. So I guess its just keep in on the downlow for now. Things seem to be cool between us. I am just counting down the year until I can see if things happen!

My school does have a huge thing against student/teacher relations…he could fired for any relations with me or anyone at school for that matter. So I guess its just keep in on the downlow for now. Things seem to be cool between us. I am just counting down the year until I can see if things happen!

When you say "down low" do you mean that you're going to be in a secret relationship, or are you just going to be student/teacher and wait for graduation? As you know I'm a big advocate of the later position. ;)

If you do choose the former, a word of advice: ALWAYS err on the side of discretion. Even if you swear your most trusted friends to secrecy, I promise you the fact that you're seeing a teacher WILL leak out. People aren't blind, and in the early stage of romance everyone will see that you two are enamoured with each other. All it would take is one malicious student with a vendetta against this teacher to blow, not only your romance, but his academic career.

Granted, even if you're not dating your interest in each other may still be noticeable, but so long as there's not fraternization, there'd be no grounds on which to build a case against him.

Just my two cents. Good luck to you, Claryce. :)

Hi, apologies for reviving such an old thread but it's a good one.

It seems the majority (if not all) of the student/teacher "friendships" mentioned are between young female and older male. Well, i'm in the same situation with my 37 y/o female professor (i'm 22). For the first year we met, we had been flirting, getting closer to one another; emailing late on weekend nights about things barely pertaining to school, dressing up for eachother, laughing at unfunny things, etc. She slowly opened up to me about her past and personal life as I did the same.

So to explain my story: I was at a point when I wasn't sure what was happening with this: did she feel something for me or was she just playing around? I got frustrated and sent her an email: told her I considered her a friend and if she needed to talk about something, she could give me a call (insert phone number here).
After this was sent, she instantly began to ignore me, acting somewhat rude and childish...I was lucky if she would reply to an email within a months time. Naturally I backed away from her as I had to watch her boisterously flirt with some other guy in front of me during classes...I was ashamed/crushed.

Eventually I worked up the courage to talk with her, we ended up chatting for a couple hours, she told me we "hook up" more often and suggested we start an independent class together (which i'm currently in, although I'm not supposed to take it for another year).
But at this point her attitude is confusing. I went to see her give a presentation a few weeks ago, and emailed her telling her how much I enjoyed seeing her speak. The next class she was very dressed up, making sure to walk in front of me, and always looking at me (a change from her not showering and ignoring my presence). When I went to talk with her after class, we silently stared into eachother eyes for what seemed like an eternity (she looked frustrated and teary eyed).
Well I needed to see her, so suggested that we meet. The next week I gave her a necklace I picked up for her in Europe, as she was the one who encouraged me to go. She seemed to appreciate it and make light of it.
A day after I gave her the necklace, she sent this very long and dramatic email to her off campus club, which I'm somewhat a part of but missed the last meeting. The message was excitedly manic and spoke of how "quite frankly, I miss you". She left off email addresses from other group members, just so happened I was the only guy left in the group to read this message.

I've never heard this woman sound so vulnerable and manic...I thought it may have had something to do with our encounter the previous day. So I replied to her message (as she wanted us to asap) and was very kind and personable...however her reaction was one of sterile professionalism, barely writing in sentences...?
I've been told that this should take all this with a grain of salt, but I can't let go of my feelings for this woman, as she knows I have them. Am I a fool for reading into such behavior?

Romantic, is the issue that he's a teacher at your school, or that he's your teacher? If the latter is true, could you avoid taking the class with him as your teacher? When I was at the U. of Md., classes were pretty crowded and you had to take what you could get, but I still remember having some control. I even remember changing classes in the first week because I didn't think I'd get along with a teacher. Of course, that was back in the '80s and who knows what's changed since then?

Hi there Claryce80 your teacher is lucky to have you in any way, but i have an idea that when you graduate you should invite him out after for a "special" congratulatory get together with just the 2 of you and see what happens from there.

Tell us what has happened its been ages since you last updated us