Im new...this is a bit long...help please

:confused:

I am extremely enthralled that I found this site...

Okay here is the story, I am in love with this fella that has recently been divorced and I rent a room in his home. We have known one another for 5 years and have become the best of friends since his divorce...and a little more i might add. He is 25 years older than me but i know that I have fallen in love with him, he is so special to me.
It all began as just a roommate deal and has led to more, he told me once that he has feeling for me but cannot assure me that anything will develop more than what we have because he is too worried what other people will think about us dating. We have been sexually involved for almost a year now, I am only the 2nd woman that he has ever been with...his divorce of 27 years ended when she decided to leave him and tear apart what they had...two adult children and a brand new home...only lived in it 9 mths.
He became very depressed and had many thoughts of commiting suicide, and turned to me for help, recently seen a dr and things are doing great for him..he and i on the other hand go through the motions of a couple but we dont say we are dating....how do i turn things around...how do i get him to see that this can work?? Please some one help us...if you need more info just ask....

Hmmmm ..... Have you told him recently that you would like him to see you as a serious dating partner? Perhaps you could simply tell him that you would really like to give your relationship a chance to transform into something even more beautiful than it is at the moment.

I am not sure if you have already told him that you would like to see how far your relationship can go.

I think in your case where you have known each other for so long, it is best to be quite blunt about it and simply be honest to him about your feelings.
Except I would not recommend you tell him (yet) that you are in love with him ... one step at a time. :)

Maybe you don't even have to tell him that you would like your relationship to develop further, but simply at a fitting moment make some sort of allusion (in question form) to being together...

I don't know if I am making any sense, it's 3:17 a.m. and I am just taking a break from writing a paper, heh.

But anyhow, I hope he is willing to move forward with you and give you a chance :)

Hello out there,

Yeah he knows how I feel and that I would like more, he just keeps a line that he is not ready to date and that he cares about me...we have talked about this a little but it is a touchy subject.... I like what we share and I am afraid of it ending.

Bobs, you have made it very easy on him by being under the same roof as him. After such a long marriage and such a short time, since his divorce, most likely he is in the rebound stage, he may want to date more women, and he does not want to make the commitment. It sounds he is not sure what he wants to do, and it would be best for him (and you of course) to figure it out without you being around so much.

If you want your relationship to progress to something solid and more that just convenience, see you are there for him in every which way, he does not have to go out of his house to find support nor sex. So my recommendation is move out and see if he will seek you once you are not sharing the same house.

I wish you the best. Good luck.

I agree with the above posts. Divorce, though I haven't experienced it myself, is really painful (my boyfriend said the other day that it has taken him "20 years" to resolve the pain from his five-year marriage and he was the one that left) and takes much time to "get over"--if you can really get over a 27 year marriage.

He has had thoughts of suicide and although you say he is getting better, the wounds are still rather fresh. Just try to be his friend, but please don't commit your heart until you are sure that he is completely well. Give it time, but don't pin all your hopes on this man. Good luck.