I am heart broken

my girlfriend is 21 and iam 28

i love her very much. i dont know what to do. we have been together for 3 and half years. i love her very much but i dont know how to tell it to her because she is younger than me. so i alway tell her the opposite that i did not love her. i told her to see others. i am afraid that she is so young that she does not know what she wants and one day she will leave me. i hurt her. i make fun of her becuase she does not know anything((at her age)) finally she meet someone. it really rip the heart out of me. i dont know what to do.. i want to get her back but she just so mad at me. i dont know what to do. she is the first girl that i want to be marry with. if i let it go i dont think i can ever find anyone like her. :(

It sounds to me that you got what you wanted. You told her to leave you and she did. I'm sorry to hear that...but no one wants to stay forever with someone who makes fun of them and doesn't trust them.

jesique.

I have to agree with, Jesique. Besides 7 years isn't really so much of an age gap.

i know it is my fault but i really want to get back with her. can any body help me??

besides it is really long story. it has to do how we start seeing each other. i was hurt that she went to see her ex. when we start dating. iam confuse that what is that she want.

Hmmm... you know, the behavior of telling someone you love that you DON'T like them and picking on them is very, very juvenile (as in, elementary school age behaviors!) and now that she has found someone, you are miserable because he probably treats her well and you blew it!

This is very sad. That at 28 years old you treated her like a 9 year old treats a girl he thinks is cute. :eek: By blowing spitballs in her hair and teasing her at recess!

Chock this up to a "lesson learned" because there is very little likelihood you will "get her back." Next time, try to be an adult ~ as you obviously weren't the "adult" in this relationship. *deep sigh*

~phos

I definately have to say...

If she's with someone who trusts her...and treats her right...

There's no way she's gonna wanna get back with you.

I think your best bet is to take this as a learning experience and be a better boyfriend to your next partner.

jesique.

can anyone help iam devasted..............

i love her very much i was so afraid getting hurt because before this relationship i had a bad one. i did everything it turn out to be a very bad experience. i dont know how to treat the next one. plus she went behind my back to see her ex it even hurts me more. then as we start dating i find that she is very childish. i try to break up ((i was not in love then)) i start seeing someone new but she felt devasted. when i was with my new gf. i always go see her to see if she is okay. my new girlfriend find out she left me. then we got back together. but her childish got in the way. i told her i want to break up. she never did. i though she really love me but instead she go on my back cheated on me. i got so angry i got in a fight with the ex. i got arrested for my action. so i let her go. she was with this guy for 3 month they break up. i contacted her we got back together. when we are together for some reason i her childishness got in the way plus my inpatience i try to break up but she never did. until she find another guy. when i find out i told please dont leave. she stay. this time is the same i start to break up she met someone. she does not want to get back any more. all this time we keep getting back together is because i do love her. but i never realize until today..

what should i do???? get on with my life. i just dont want to throught 3half years away. we were so compatible. when we were together..
i love her . i probably deserve what i got but forgiveness is ?????

John, if any one sounds childish, immature and non-adult is YOU...... I would not want to be near you. Many women would be afraid of you. Not only are you immature, but you are very aggressive and even abusive.

It sounds to me you were in a sick relationship and believe me you did not waste 3 plus yrs of your life but you saved the rest of your life, if you learned form this experience. Look you even ended up in jail for fighting. Next time it could have been you hitting her or hurting someone else.

You have many issues and I do not think it has to deal with your g/f but it is within you and your insecurities. Please think about taking some anger management courses and also therapy to find out why you behave like that with women. In your posts, you mention at least 3 different females you have been involved with, and each relationship sounds like a disaster.

John, live and LEARN and try to become a better person so you can treat the next lady in your life with dignity and at the same time dignify yourself.

Wish you the best.

John,

She may be 7 years you junior but she acted 7 years your senior...
Before you can ever consider getting her back Your sweet little thing, your going to have to get your***** together and grow up.

I believe you must take responsibility for your actions during this relationship and figure out why you pushed her away the entire time and when she finally took your advice, your left devistated?

Where is the surprise in all this for you?

The issue today is not whether you can get her back, It is whether you can accept and learn from your mistakes in the deal?

Since you have so much time on your hands these days...
Write down every nasty thing you said to this poor girl over the 3 1/2 years
you subjected her to your "stuff"...

Read them and read them again and place your self in her possition of having to listen to those words day in and day out...

I bet your not going to be liking what you hear either...

Put them on your refigerator and just look at them.... Unless you take the responsiblity for your actions no one else will...

Your exgirlfriend took responsibility for herself and got the heck out...

I'm sorry, but you don't deseve her at this point.

can anyone help iam devasted..............

Nope!!!
The only one who can help you is you... You mention another G/F and moving on...

Moving on should not nessisarly need to include a new G/F... A new G/F just hides the pain and learning before you try to move into a new relationship.

Rebounding does not do you any good!!! Take some time and try to figure out who ol' DEAR JOHN is? You don't seem to have a clue who you are at this point in your life...

Love is great but its a whole lot heathier and happier when you are comfortible in your own skin before getting someone else involved with you...

A new babe can't fix you... She may distract you for a while till you pull similar stunts like before...

Moving on means growing and learning from your mistakes and you have a bunch to learn from!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go on with your life and sum it up as a learning experience, take the mistakes that was made in this relationship and use them as a knowledge... Hopefully next time around you won't push your S/O other away and tell them you don't love them...

Take some personal time and re-evulate yourself and what you want and need out of life....

John.. unfortunatly everyone here has given you great advice... you asked for it and you got it.. Unfortunatly in life we all have to accept the consequences of our decisions. You keep calling her childish..... and thats unfair to her.... seems to me she was the one that wanted to be with you and it was childish and immature for you to let her go the way you did.....

Unfortunatly there isn't much more you can do but pick up and move on....

Is it just me or am I sensing that english is not your first language John? Just curious, I could be totally wrong. The inconsistency of your verb congugation makes me think so. If thats the case, I think we may be getting an incorrect opinion of your use of the word "childish."

But the rest of the advice sounds about on point. Figure out what you want, it would be unfair to her if you called her, talked her into getting back together with you and then decided again that you didn't really want to be with her. I'm sure you wouldn't want your heart tugged around like that.

my girlfriend is 21 and iam 28

i love her very much. i dont know what to do. we have been together for 3 and half years. i love her very much but i dont know how to tell it to her because she is younger than me. so i alway tell her the opposite that i did not love her. i told her to see others. i am afraid that she is so young that she does not know what she wants and one day she will leave me. i hurt her. i make fun of her becuase she does not know anything((at her age)) finally she meet someone. it really rip the heart out of me. i dont know what to do.. i want to get her back but she just so mad at me. i dont know what to do. she is the first girl that i want to be marry with. if i let it go i dont think i can ever find anyone like her. :(

Sweetie don't worry, you WILL love again! I promise! When you're very young as you are you feel like you'll never love again...(I've felt that many times!) But you will, again! Just take a deep breath, you're gonna be OK! :) You're still the same "you" as you were from before you met her! You've still got you! And, go out there and live your life; do good and good will come to you. It's not over for you, at 28 you're just beginning!!!

thanks for the encouragement

i like what you had said

this is for everyone who help and encourage me

thanks to you guys...

i am nice person the person said i was lost . she or he is very right on it

ever since my father pass away it have been very hard on me..... so much anger..
and this older girlfriend lied to me.
i dont know why i have so much anger

maybe she (21 year gf) was not right for me. i need advise please help

we dont seem to connect in a conversation. because she dont have much education... but i love her i care about her. i would never want to hurt her.
if being with the new guy
makes her happy i am happy for her.

i want more guildence more suggestion please

i want more guildence more suggestion please

John Your getting a lot of advice and a lot of guidance... Remember we don't have a lot of members on the YW/OM side of the boards besides.. I keep reading your posts and I keep hearing how much you love her and care about her then i see you insulting her and calling her uneducated and I do NOT see that as love at all you do is continue to keep making the same mistakes. I am assuming that English is not your first language and that you are not from here because your grammer unfortunatly is incorrect I am ONLY picking up on this because you keep saying how uneducated she is and that is bothering me.... If you really love this woman you would NOT be insulting her the way you are... and listen to us and leave her be because you made this decision you pushed her away... and now that she's gone your upset.. well you can't have things both ways... and unfortunatly YOU made your bed now YOU must lie in it... I'm sorry if this is harsh but unfortunatly Your not seeing what we are saying... Good luck I do hope you make the right decision.