At wits end....HELP!!!

I have a soon to be 5 year old daughter that I swear is part cat burgler and part goat. I can't turn my back on her for even a second without her getting into something or eating something. It doesn't matter how high you put something up or even if you lock it up......she finds a way to get into things or finds the keys for the locks. She's a very smart little girl. She's my middle child. My oldest daughter was the same way when she was little, but by the time she was 4 she had pretty much grown out of it. I was hoping that would be the case with my youngest daughter......but now I am really beginning to think it is going to be a long term problem. She has even gotten her brother which is a year younger than her now as her partner in crime or more like someone else to blame things on...lol.

I have tried every punishment under the sun....and have asked her if she knows she isn't supposed to do certain things......she admits she knows it is wrong.....but ever day does the same things to get into trouble. I worried at some point if it was an attention thing....so I tried to make sure I was giving her more attention...but still it didn't make a difference.

I have just gotten to the point it is driving me nuts. I have to practically sit on her to make sure she isn't getting into something, making a mess, or eating something. Which makes every day life hard to get anything done. Not to mention I have had to ban certain items from even being in the home just to make sure she doesn't get into them. Which isn't fair for my oldest daughter.

If anyone else has had child issues like this, and found something that works for getting them to stop I'd greatly appreciate the advise.

Gosh, I've never had that problem, but maybe you could try some sort of reward system for praising her for positive behavior? I don't know if she can read yet, but if she does, maybe post a list of the rules you expect her to live by, explain to her the reward she will receive if she lives by them, and then when she has collected a certain number of rewards, take her out on a mother-daughter outing that involves just the two of you?

edited to add: that by rewards, I mean give her small rewards immediately if she does good. For example, on Super Nanny recently, 3 little girls were involved. Each one got a little fake flower as a reward each time they were good. And, when their flower pot had X number of flowers in it, that's when they got to have the big reward.

Not to mention I have had to ban certain items from even being in the home just to make sure she doesn't get into them.

I tried to do this but was unsuccessful because my partner (now my ex) wouldn't agree to keeping scissors away from the children. "It inhibits their creativity." He always sabbotages my rules and consequences.

Say goodbye to bedsheets, curtains, sofa and loveseat, plus several toys and towels and, well you get the idea. He has outgrown it for the most part due to the fact that a) there is nothing left to destroy and b) I am able to make more time to spend with him privately while his brothers attend school in the morning before his afternoon class.

My questions to you are: Are you parenting with the same rules and consequences as your partner and does she do these things in your presence?

Gosh, I've never had that problem, but maybe you could try some sort of reward system for praising her for positive behavior? I don't know if she can read yet, but if she does, maybe post a list of the rules you expect her to live by, explain to her the reward she will receive if she lives by them, and then when she has collected a certain number of rewards, take her out on a mother-daughter outing that involves just the two of you?

edited to add: that by rewards, I mean give her small rewards immediately if she does good. For example, on Super Nanny recently, 3 little girls were involved. Each one got a little fake flower as a reward each time they were good. And, when their flower pot had X number of flowers in it, that's when they got to have the big reward.

Yes.....I saw that episode......first time I had seen the program in fact. I have thought that I'd give that a try and see how it goes. Sad part is she isn't a fit thrower or a mean child......she is a very happy go luck little girl. She just has to constantly be into something, and for some reason trying to eat anything she can fit in her mouth. I really want to get her in a pre-school setting soon.....hoping that maybe it will help. Maybe help keep her busy in some way. Though last time she was in one their only problem was getting her to sit down and still when she was supposed to. I'll try the reward system, and see if it will change anything. Like I stated punishments just don't seem to matter to her.

I tried to do this but was unsuccessful because my partner (now my ex) wouldn't agree to keeping scissors away from the children. "It inhibits their creativity." He always sabbotages my rules and consequences.

Say goodbye to bedsheets, curtains, sofa and loveseat, plus several toys and towels and, well you get the idea. He has outgrown it for the most part due to the fact that a) there is nothing left to destroy and b) I am able to make more time to spend with him privately while his brothers attend school in the morning before his afternoon class.

My questions to you are: Are you parenting with the same rules and consequences as your partner and does she do these things in your presence?

Everything you stated saying good bye to is exactly what I am talking about. Unfortunately there is still things left to destroy but between my 2 youngest ones they are working on what is left. :( Right now as it sits I have some towel racks to replace on the bathroom wall........a few walls to be repainted, and I have to clean my carpets at least once a month. Well the carpet cleaning I have to say isn't all them.....but the majority of having to do it so often.

Yes me and my partner use the exact same rules and consequences. She does listen to him a little more so than me....but not much more. Even when he is home she still does the same things every day. I just don't really get why.....she knows she isn't supposed to....even tries to hide it sometimes because she knows she is going to get into trouble....but still does it.

I just don't understand......it isn't from a lack of discipline in the home. She just doesn't care that she is going to get into trouble. That was what changed in my oldest daughter when she was little and did the same things.......she finally got to the point she didn't like being punished and started to behave better. But my youngest daughter either just tries to hide it hoping she doesn't get caught, tries to blame it on her brother (in which sometimes he does either participate or just watches her), but just doesn't care that she is going to get punished.

Truely she is my most problem child out of the 3. My oldest is just about to be 13....she sometimes tries to get a little big for her britches, but a talk with her about it usually makes things better. My son when my youngest daughter isn't around or inviting him to get into things with her is my least problem child. He is more than happy to just sit and play with his toys or watch one of his favorite movies. All 3 of my kids are very affectionate, loving, and act happy the majority of the time.

I feel horrible about this because I just feel like I am always having to discipline her....like I am just mean mommy all the time where she's concerned. And apparently she is feeling the same way......she stated the other night that she didn't want to stay here with all of us anymore......that she wanted to go live with her other daddy (her biological father) who only wants to play daddy every few months for a day or 2........of which I put a stop to a year ago. I was very hurt by her statement.......but can understand why she said it......cause it just seems like neither of us can find a middle ground on her behavior.

I still have hope that it is just a phase she is going through and she'll come out of it. I'll try WR idea and see if the reward system will work. Other than that I just don't know what to do. Sorry for going on so much....it's just this is really bothering me.....and her telling me she doesn't want to be with us anymore just really hurt my feelings too. Later she did say she wanted to stay.....but her behavior is still the same. Maybe when I can get her into a pre-school setting it will be better for the both of us. She won't be home trying to get into everything....and we both won't feel like there is a lot of negativity between us.

I try very hard to have a good relationship with my kids. I got complimented from my oldest daughters school councelor that just from talking to my daughter he could tell very well that we have a strong relationship. My son is a momma's boy at heart for the most part which tells me he feels very close to me too. My youngest daughter and I show love and affection to each other....but the bond between us is there, but isn't as vivid as with my other 2 kids. Because of her behavior......and I just want to somehow get past it so we can be closer, and happier together.

My granddaughter (lives with me now) who just turned 4 is exactly the same way. What I have noticed is that she is very smart and bores easily. I have to make certain that she has a routine that includes a variety of things to do and learn.

Her Mom (my daughter) is very strict. All that this has done is create a power struggle and a way to get attention from her Mom.

I have locked up my make up due to red lipstick on a white bathroom door... :p

I make certain that she has a "safe" room to play in (the TV room). There is nothing there that can be easily destroyed. I give her lots of praise for doing the right thing. If she is just sitting quietly watching TV.. I tell her "It feels good to see you being good and enjoying your show".

Just consider her a very smart girl with a creative mind... AND give her lots of positive attention.

I'm probably gonna get yelled at for this one....

But have you tried spanking her?

I used to be a bad kid...got into lots of messes...talked back...I lied a lot...and I got a lot of spankings...but I knew that when I got a spanking...that meant business....and I had better not do it again.

I'm not saying beat your child by any means...but I am saying that perhaps it would reinforce that you definately mean business when you tell her something.

Just a thought.

Nadine.

I'm probably gonna get yelled at for this one....

But have you tried spanking her?

I used to be a bad kid...got into lots of messes...talked back...I lied a lot...and I got a lot of spankings...but I knew that when I got a spanking...that meant business....and I had better not do it again.

I'm not saying beat your child by any means...but I am saying that perhaps it would reinforce that you definately mean business when you tell her something.

Just a thought.

Nadine.

Yes.....when I said I had tried every punishment I meant it. Nothing seems to work with her, and she isn't just that way with me...she is like that with anyone that is close in the family, and when she was in daycare and was used to the caregivers did the same with them. She's just hard headed, and wants to do what she wants to do. I have no idea where she gets it from either.......lol. :rolleyes: In that sense I'd say she's a lot like me and her grandmother...lol.

My granddaughter (lives with me now) who just turned 4 is exactly the same way. What I have noticed is that she is very smart and bores easily. I have to make certain that she has a routine that includes a variety of things to do and learn.

Her Mom (my daughter) is very strict. All that this has done is create a power struggle and a way to get attention from her Mom.

I have locked up my make up due to red lipstick on a white bathroom door... :p

I make certain that she has a "safe" room to play in (the TV room). There is nothing there that can be easily destroyed. I give her lots of praise for doing the right thing. If she is just sitting quietly watching TV.. I tell her "It feels good to see you being good and enjoying your show".

Just consider her a very smart girl with a creative mind... AND give her lots of positive attention.

With my daughter there is no such thing as "safe". I bought knobs that locked for the doors for rooms I didn't want her in without permission, and the pantry so she couldn't get into them. She would get the keys and open them (even if they were hidden or on hooks on the wall she'd find some way to get them down). I put baby gates up in the sliding glass door and in front of the outside door at one of our old places and she would rip them off to get the doors open. If the Chain lock was on she'd get something to stand on to get it open. She learned she could open the stove and climb on the door, and the lower drawers to climb up onto the counter to get into the upper cabinets.

She's very smart...she seems to see something she wants and figures out a way to get it.....once I forgot to unlock the back doors on the car to get her out and I asked her to unlock the door..knowing she knew how......she couldn't reach the knob cause she was in her car seat...so what did she do..she took her shoe and sock off and stretched her leg and tried to open the lock with her toes.....lol.....and this is what I mean about sitting on top of her all day. You take your eyes off her for a minute and she is finding something to get into. She just seems to have a need to constantly be busy doing something. She has no real interest in toys, I have tried getting her things like coloring books...that she can be busy with...but she loses interest very quickly. Even toys like Mr. Potatohead and legos......things that you'd think would stimulate her mind to keep busy. She loves to play dress up, and she likes to pretend things a lot, but that only entertains her for short periods. So she is very creative....just hard to channel it into things that are ok for her to do.

I thought when we moved into a bigger house it would help some...she'd have her own room.....they have a big back yard to play in with a swing set, and outside toys.....she still even then with that she managed to do things she wasn't supposed to which was normal for a few times....but after she knew it was wrong would still continue to do the same things she knew she'd be in trouble for.

I do praise her when she is good......and tell her thank you...and I love her.....and she says your welcome and smiles and gives hugs and kisses. But then she's back at it again later on.

I am hoping as soon as I am able to get her into a per-school setting that it will give her more structural things to put her mind to, and hopefully more mindful of her own actions as well. Till then it just seems like a daily battle with her.

I would go see your pediatrician and get a referral to a qualified and highly recommended child psychologist (NOT psychiatrist!) about seeing if she possibly has ADD/ADHD. Not the "educational" diagnosis of ADD, either, that they diagnose to keep your kids in line at school :rolleyes: but it sounds like its possible she might actually BE ADD/ADHD.

Here's a link to some of the early behaviors associated with it, and if she truly IS ADD she WILL respond to the medications.

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/ActEarly/adhd.html

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_signs_symptoms.htm

~phos

These are some suggestions:
Identify which behavior is the result of curiosity and which is the result of wilful mischief.
Be as tolerant as you can with the curious or inquisitive behavior and provide outlets for it, like for example if she likes makeup, give her your old lipstick and eyeshadow for her to play with. Give her little safe tools and materials to work with and to build things with. Ask her help for cleaning closets and drawers and tell her a little story about the items there. Give her rewards every time she builds or repairs something. Do not discard broken toys (unless hazzardous), and do not buy new toys unless she improves her behavior. If furniture or carpets have been messed up and need replacement, do not replace them until she has grown out of this phase.
Do not tolerate disrespect and/or wilful mischief. Use the heavy artillery for this like spankings, time outs, no TV, Toy Jail, etc.

Other suggestions:

Go without candy, pop, or cookies for a while so there wont be treats around the house. Get fruit instead for when the kids get hungry. If the other kids complain, tell them it is your daughter's fault.
Make your children clean what they mess up.

I would go see your pediatrician and get a referral to a qualified and highly recommended child psychologist (NOT psychiatrist!) about seeing if she possibly has ADD/ADHD. Not the "educational" diagnosis of ADD, either, that they diagnose to keep your kids in line at school :rolleyes: but it sounds like its possible she might actually BE ADD/ADHD.

Here's a link to some of the early behaviors associated with it, and if she truly IS ADD she WILL respond to the medications.

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/ActEarly/adhd.html

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_signs_symptoms.htm

~phos

I made comment to my mother that I thought she might be ADHD, and she kind of spazed on me saying there was nothing wrong with her....that she just likes getting into things. My brother has ADHD severly, and is metally about 7 years behind his actual age. When he was 16 he just up and decided he wasn't going to take his meds anymore.....which put the rest of us in agony. The doctors asked her how I acted as a child, and told her most likely I had it too, just not to the extreme he has it. Which makes me wonder if that is where possibly my bi-polar stems from. I had thought I read somewhere or was told that it is more so in males than females. I guess I need to do some more reading on it.

As soon as I can I will get her evaluated, and see what they say....thanks.

These are some suggestions:
Identify which behavior is the result of curiosity and which is the result of wilful mischief.
Be as tolerant as you can with the curious or inquisitive behavior and provide outlets for it, like for example if she likes makeup, give her your old lipstick and eyeshadow for her to play with. Give her little safe tools and materials to work with and to build things with. Ask her help for cleaning closets and drawers and tell her a little story about the items there. Give her rewards every time she builds or repairs something. Do not discard broken toys (unless hazzardous), and do not buy new toys unless she improves her behavior. If furniture or carpets have been messed up and need replacement, do not replace them until she has grown out of this phase.
Do not tolerate disrespect and/or wilful mischief. Use the heavy artillery for this like spankings, time outs, no TV, Toy Jail, etc.

Other suggestions:

Go without candy, pop, or cookies for a while so there wont be treats around the house. Get fruit instead for when the kids get hungry. If the other kids complain, tell them it is your daughter's fault.
Make your children clean what they mess up.

Thanks for the reply have tried all of your ideas already. If I let her use anything it just makes her want to get into it even more seems like, and I think it is more wilful mischief than curiousity....today she got the dog shampoo snuck it to her room, then her, and her brother proceeded to pour it all over her carpet, her bed, and the wall. Nothing curious about that one. She knew it was the dog shampoo, and she knows what shampoo is for.

And I have tried all your ideas on punishment........she cries.....waits out her time, and goes at it again as soon as she can.

Treats aren't really a big issue in the house. They are rarely ever bought. Pop on the other hand is usually a constant in the house. But she's just fine with drinking water or juice when she wants something to drink if she is told she can't have pop. So that isn't really a threat to her.

One thing that worked with my oldest daughter I think was....when she destroyed something that wasn't hers I started taking toys away from her telling her that I was going to throw something of hers away every time she broke or destroyed something of someone elses on purpose. Unfortunately this is having little affect on my youngest daughter. She cries, and gets upset over losing her toys, but is still doing the same things.

Unfortunately only thing working right now is constant by my side supervision, which is just hard to do with everything else I have to do everyday. It just makes it very hard to even try to get anything else done.

I made comment to my mother that I thought she might be ADHD, and she kind of spazed on me saying there was nothing wrong with her....that she just likes getting into things.

Well, if there is a family history, then an evaluation is definitely warranted. I'm sorry your brother reacted the way he did during his teen years (sounds similiar to my bro) and many, many people see a great all around improvements to therapy and medications with this disorder. If you think you're bipolar, its quite possible your brother is, too? Might be why his medications didn't work right with him. *shrug*

Some people honestly DO benefit from the interventions and it seems to me that YOU would benefit from your daughter being able to focus and not get into everything and getting yelled at/punished repeatedly for years for behavior outside of her control will have a very damaging effect on her self-esteem. I wouldn't delay too long, however, despite your mothers reaction. YOU have to live with her and school can decimate her on many levels when her little square peg has to fit into a round hole. :eek:

It runs in my family, too. One thing that helps is coffee. Ritalin and the other myriad ADD drugs are all stimulants. You can try giving her some coffee in the morning and see if it has a calming effect or causes her to bounce off the walls. If it calms her, you have one more clue that she could be ADD.

Good luck!
~phos

Well, if there is a family history, then an evaluation is definitely warranted. I'm sorry your brother reacted the way he did during his teen years (sounds similiar to my bro) and many, many people see a great all around improvements to therapy and medications with this disorder. If you think you're bipolar, its quite possible your brother is, too? Might be why his medications didn't work right with him. *shrug*

Some people honestly DO benefit from the interventions and it seems to me that YOU would benefit from your daughter being able to focus and not get into everything and getting yelled at/punished repeatedly for years for behavior outside of her control will have a very damaging effect on her self-esteem. I wouldn't delay too long, however, despite your mothers reaction. YOU have to live with her and school can decimate her on many levels when her little square peg has to fit into a round hole. :eek:

It runs in my family, too. One thing that helps is coffee. Ritalin and the other myriad ADD drugs are all stimulants. You can try giving her some coffee in the morning and see if it has a calming effect or causes her to bounce off the walls. If it calms her, you have one more clue that she could be ADD.

Good luck!
~phos

My brother will be 23 on Dec. 1.....he still lives with my mom. He has had a few jobs nothing longer than a few months. When he gets mad he just blows up and starts yelling at the top of his lungs pretty much doesn't matter who it is he is mad at...which cost him 2 of the jobs he had......or bulls up...pouts or doesn't speak...or sometimes if it is mom he does all the above and then breaks down and cries..stating he is worthless bla bla bla....he was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 9 years old. Therapy didn't help with him.....he wouldn't say 2 words to the therapists. Medication helped but some had bad reactions, and others had to be changed often. When he was 16 he just decided he wasn't going to take his medicine, and no one could force him to take it.


I helped get him into job corp to help him get his G.E.D. and his drives license, and some schooling to help him get a good job....he ran off to Mississippi before a bed was open for him...mom and his dad had to go get him because the people he was staying with kicked him out......then after he finally got to job corp he got into 2 fights and got kicked out. I told my mom she should try to get him on some form of disability.....due to the fact he just can't control himself even out in public settings. Unless his mentality changes he is never going to be able to hold down a job or take care of himself for that matter. But she stated that he wasn't disabled so he couldn't get disablity, that he was just being lazy. But she knows he isn't going to be able to take care of himself.....at least not for a long time if at all. I don't know what she thinks is going to happen to him if something happens to her. I do good to handle what is on my own plate much less if I had to take him in as well.

He is very hard for me to be around for any long period. It drives me nuts how he acts and treats people, and I feel a lot of times he uses his ADHD as a crutch and a excuse to act the way he does. He doesn't even try to control his actions. I don't know I am his sister, and he just annoys me a lot. He seems to not think before he says or acts in anyway. I constantly tell him he needs to think before he speaks, and sometimes his actions are inapproprate. He may very well have bipolar disorder. But he won't go to counceling or take medication.

I was diagnosed with depression at 14, depression with bipolar tendencies at 24, and then at 31 bipolar disorder with anxiety and panic attacks....I have a hard time with medications too. I either react badly to them when I start taking them to a month into taking them. Or they stop working all together after about a months time of use.

I am very well aware of my illness. Even off medication I constantly watch and try to keep my emotions under control. I do a pretty good job...I think of keeping control. Things have to be very overwelming for me to pop, but I do try to keep things from getting to that point. One thing I have noticed is it has changed.....used to I was severly depressed all the time. Now it seems like I have more anger issues than depressive episodes. So now I try to just stay as calm as possible. When I get over heated...I just take a time out...till I calm back down. Which is part of the reason I came looking for help in reguard to my daughter...she is really pushing the envelope for me at times. My bipolar seems to have changed from the depressive lows the majority of the time...to the manic highs now. Sad to say but the health care cost is keeping me from getting the medication and therapy I need for these issues. Even tried to find some case studies in the area, but there weren't any right now. So I just try to stay well aware of it myself to keep a handle on it. I remind myself all the time that I have an illness...it doesn't have me.

My oldest daughter told her councelor that she has been depressed off and on the past few years. She tends to have social issues at school. Always seems to be the girl that gets picked on a lot. She was tested and has a very high IQ, but has a learning disablity with it. So she is in some special classes, and extra help in others. She also has very bad eye sight so she has to wear magnifying glasses which just is one more thing for her to be picked on. Newest thing has been her acne, I swear kids sometimes are just cruel. But her councelor at school told me that she stated I support her a lot when she is having problems, and that she is comfortable coming to me and tells me when she is having problems, and knows I am there for her. She knows that whatever the problem is at school I will go up, and get it taken care of. Told me I was great support for her.

Money is tight right now so I have to get state health coverage again for the kids, I am doing that on monday, and when I get approved I will get her into be evaluated. Thanks for the coffee tip. I will give it a try and see how she acts. Will give it a try either today or in the morning (I don't drink coffee..have to go get some) and see how she reacts. Will let you know how it works.

It runs in my family, too. One thing that helps is coffee. Ritalin and the other myriad ADD drugs are all stimulants. You can try giving her some coffee in the morning and see if it has a calming effect or causes her to bounce off the walls. If it calms her, you have one more clue that she could be ADD.

Good luck!
~phos

Well Phos.........I gave her the coffee...I did it twice just to see for sure. After she drank it.....it did seem to slow her down some....she wasn't bouncing off the walls as much...she was still a busy bee though....but only slowed her down for a few hours. So I am not sure how to judge it. :confused:

Your daughter is right on target for her behavior at her developmental stage. Is she in K yet? Once she gets in school she will leanr rules and boundaries. Sad to say but nowadays teachers have to teach kids that 2 letter word most parents hate to use N..O.
Yes shes doing it for attention, we all act out for attention 5 or 50. How about taking her toa park or getting her into more physical activities such as tumbling, KIds PE anything to accomidate her penchant for physical activity.

Good Luck

Well Phos.........I gave her the coffee...I did it twice just to see for sure. After she drank it.....it did seem to slow her down some....she wasn't bouncing off the walls as much...she was still a busy bee though....but only slowed her down for a few hours. So I am not sure how to judge it. :confused:

A few hours is pretty good, Raveness! LOL. If it slowed her down as opposed to pump/hype her up, then that definitely is something to bring to the attention of your physician when you get her evaluated. It could be she would be greatly improved on a low dose of something like Concerta or Strattera or even Ritalin.

While I DO think ADD and ADHD are OVER-diagnosed by academia to keep kids in line, at least 10-20% of those who are diagnosed ARE legitimately ADD. I do not believe that this is a bum dx for ALL people... but definitely overdiagnosed in boys and probably underdiagnosed in girls.

And I disagree that what you've described is "normal" behavior for her age. I am not a psychiatrist, but I have kids and know many.

Get the evaluation done as soon as you can. I know there are programs like Early Intervention in most public school districts where you can get her tested for free. Look into those and get an IEP in place before she enters school for first grade (at the very least), so they are aware that YOU aren't ignoring any issues she might have. ;)

Good luck!!
~phos

I went in for my evaluation yesterday, and I talked to the evaluator about what is going on with my daughter she said that she might be ADHD. But also stated that because she knows what she is doing is wrong she thought it was more of just to get attention thing.

So since I really didn't get a straight answer I figure when I go to my first therapy appt. I will discuss it further with my new therapist and see what her opinion is about it. All I know is it is driving me nuts which just doesn't make the situation any better. So hopefully something will be figured out soon. If my therapist isn't sure...I'll just get her tested anyway to see for sure. Either way something needs to be done about it.


I would give her more coffee till I can see what the therapist says about her behavior..since it does seem to help some...but I wasn't sure how much a day would be ok for her age. She just turned 5.

My son has been drinking one cup of coffee a day since he was about 6. It's half milk and half coffee with some sugar ~ or even sometimes some chocolate in it. He LOVES it and it definitely helps him concentrate and focus better for a couple hours (allllll we need in the morning to get through home school! LOL). He is not hyper and never has been. *I* am, though, and without my coffee I'm INSANE. Watch out! :D

My brother self-medicates at this point with COPIOUS amounts of coffee. He's extremely ADHD, heavy on the H. Hehehehe. But, he's been drinking coffee for... well... as long as I can remember. And my mother always let him drink as many cokes as he wanted, because it calmed him down. This, of course, was back in the day when no one had heard of ADD or ADHD. He wasn't dx'd until he was 17 and they put him on TRANQUILIZERS he was so hyper. :eek: Crazy, eh?

There is no harm in coffee in relatively small amounts. Halfsie the cup with milk once a day and that should help. She WILL build a tolerance though, I warn you. Coffee actually has some anti-oxidant qualities to it, but when you do take her in to get tested, be sure to tell the doc what's been going on, that the coffee does have a mild calming effect, etc. etc. Also, run from any doc that doesn't give her a really, really thorough evaluation. 10 minutes and a prescript is NOT acceptable. The eval should really be closer to several hours and observation in varying environments. Ask your pediatrician for a referral to someone specialized in it who won't just write YOU off with a prescript. Been to way too many of them trying to get my sons correct dx (Asperger's)... Grrrr...

~phos

My son has been drinking one cup of coffee a day since he was about 6. It's half milk and half coffee with some sugar ~ or even sometimes some chocolate in it. He LOVES it and it definitely helps him concentrate and focus better for a couple hours (allllll we need in the morning to get through home school! LOL). He is not hyper and never has been. *I* am, though, and without my coffee I'm INSANE. Watch out! :D

Yeah when I got it for her I just grabbed a cup of toffe latte flavored coffee at QT so I wouldn't have a problem getting her to drink it....lol. I was just wondering if giving it to her more than once a day would be ok. Like in the morning, and then one in the afternoon. Since it wears off after a few hours.


My brother self-medicates at this point with COPIOUS amounts of coffee. He's extremely ADHD, heavy on the H. Hehehehe. But, he's been drinking coffee for... well... as long as I can remember. And my mother always let him drink as many cokes as he wanted, because it calmed him down. This, of course, was back in the day when no one had heard of ADD or ADHD. He wasn't dx'd until he was 17 and they put him on TRANQUILIZERS he was so hyper. :eek: Crazy, eh?

Pop doesn't seem to make a difference in her.....I wish it did.....it is at the house all the time. Pepsi is my coffee...lol.


There is no harm in coffee in relatively small amounts. Halfsie the cup with milk once a day and that should help. She WILL build a tolerance though, I warn you. Coffee actually has some anti-oxidant qualities to it, but when you do take her in to get tested, be sure to tell the doc what's been going on, that the coffee does have a mild calming effect, etc. etc. Also, run from any doc that doesn't give her a really, really thorough evaluation. 10 minutes and a prescript is NOT acceptable. The eval should really be closer to several hours and observation in varying environments. Ask your pediatrician for a referral to someone specialized in it who won't just write YOU off with a prescript. Been to way too many of them trying to get my sons correct dx (Asperger's)... Grrrr...

~phos

The place I went to this week will do at least an hour an a half long evaluation. I'll see if the same woman that did mine will do hers. Then she can see in person how she acts. At the least I think they would want us to do family therapy if she doesn't think she is ADHD for sure, and it is just a to get attention thing.

I didn't know you could get an IEP before they started school. My oldest daughter started getting hers when she was in the second grade. Before that I had never even heard of them. I'll find out where I can get her tested before school. Will make it easier...cause I think getting her to sit for a good amount of time will be hard to do. Not to mention getting her to focus on one thing for a period of time.

Hopefully soon I'll have some answers, and help with whatever the case may be with her. I just want things to be better for, and between her and I. Except for her hyperness, and getting into every thing she is a very sweet, funny, loving little girl.