11 Year age gap older woman & younger man

I have been dating my sweety for 5 years now I am in love with him and he with me. I am a mother of 3 children whom all think he is great. The down side is my x-husband lives with us , we have discussed that our relationship is soley for the children , but now it seems he is trying to control me again! I need to be with my love of my life he has been patient for 5 years I do not want to loose him now. I often find my self feeling confused and feeling sorry for my x- husband he has a way of making me feel bad an it is awful, I cheated on my husband 5 years ago with this young man and fell in love with him, my husband and I never really got along to begin with he has been physical in the past and treats me like one of the children. I am ready to move on but find myself still affraid of my x husband..... :confused:

I had to see a therapist while I was preparing to leave my x-husband (14 years)whom I was also afraid of. It helped me to plan and also work through the feelings and fear. For me, it came down to the fact that I would rather be dead than continue to live in fear and misery. I wish you the best.

I have been dating my sweety for 5 years now I am in love with him and he with me. I am a mother of 3 children whom all think he is great. The down side is my x-husband lives with us , we have discussed that our relationship is soley for the children , but now it seems he is trying to control me again! I need to be with my love of my life he has been patient for 5 years I do not want to loose him now. I often find my self feeling confused and feeling sorry for my x- husband he has a way of making me feel bad an it is awful, I cheated on my husband 5 years ago with this young man and fell in love with him, my husband and I never really got along to begin with he has been physical in the past and treats me like one of the children. I am ready to move on but find myself still affraid of my x husband..... :confused:

Hi,

IMHO don't think that living with your ex is a good model for your children.

If you are divorced already, why do you think that he will be angry with you for moving out?

Are you cooking for him and doing his laundry?

What will he lose?

Sorry to hear about all that's happening. I can understand why your husband would be upset with you and your YM for cheating on him. I don't understand why he is so controling and physicaly abusive. It's a messy situtation. Your husband has to change. You could always just move on and be with your YM but then what kind of message are you sending to your 3 children?? Good luck it's tough. Maybe talk with a pastor counsler or someone.

I can somewhat see how it's been beneficial for you to continue to raise your children together but five years is an awfully long time to stay in that situation. It's time to get moving.

I myself have continued to share a home with my ex boyfriend and father of my three children for three years since we separated. We have separate lives, separate bedrooms and share the household responsibilities and parenting responsibilities as before.

I'm planning to move out in July, now that my children are all school aged. I've been dating a man 13 years my junior for exactly one year now (in two hours it will be our first year anniversary of the day we finally met in person after nearly 2 years chatting online).

Anyhow, my advice is to move out and continue to date your younger guy with joy.

Unless there is something that you are not telling us, like that you are still sexually active with your ex...