9 years a lot?

Hello

I met this young man, he is younger than me by 9 years, well 8 actually but I turn 32 soon, so 9.

He doesnt want me to tell about our age gap but eh let's be realistic.... do you think it's a lot? The more I think about it the less i care :p
I'm just thinking I'll go to the gym and there is plastic surgery if my butt ever decides to fall down :D

I'm just thinking... when i was 23 nothing mattered if I was in love... now that I am 31...it's a different story. I dont want him to rush to me like that. You know, the sexual attraction, immaturity of the women of his age (so he says).

Honestly, do you think it's livable? On the long run?

Oh yes, we are both european living in the US, not from the same country but it does make a difference for me, I am totally attracted to him! With feelings...

Thank you

To me, 9 years isn't much of a gap, no. I'm 34 and my honey is 20 (1/2 LOL) and we've been together... creeping on 2 years now. It's going really well and I love him with all my heart and we live together, too. So, that's 13.5 years and I hardly ever see any gap at all.

What is stressed around here is whether or not you and your SO are in the same "life phase." Not the # of years you've been on planet earth. ;) So, if you're both wanting the same things out of life and can see a future together and talk about the hard stuff, then 9 years is nothing.

Welcome to ageless.
~phos

Naw....no problem! Go for it.

To me, 9 years isn't much of a gap, no. I'm 34 and my honey is 20 (1/2 LOL) and we've been together... creeping on 2 years now. It's going really well and I love him with all my heart and we live together, too. So, that's 13.5 years and I hardly ever see any gap at all.

What is stressed around here is whether or not you and your SO are in the same "life phase." Not the # of years you've been on planet earth. ;) So, if you're both wanting the same things out of life and can see a future together and talk about the hard stuff, then 9 years is nothing.

Welcome to ageless.
~phos

I agree.My Ym is 20 and I'm 31,so what's 9 years :D

Well it seems so. I dont talk marriage yet lol :p But he knows I want kids, soon... he didn't run away, that's a good thing.
He wants something for the long run and not a one night stand. Same for me.

I am totally falling for this guy, bad.... Not for the younth, no no, for him... he could be 41 that'd work for me!
I am usually not attracted to younger men, actually I am not at all.. but him.. that's another story :D

Another thing, his mom is married to a man who is way younger than she is... so I'm thinking it's not something he doesnt "know".

I'm just worried about the "when I am 50 and you are 41 .."
But.. as I said woot woot surgery and creams can do wonders :p

But, I can counter your logic with... mens life expectancy is 7 years LESS than a womans, so that puts your "real" long term ages closer to only a 2 year gap.

Don't sweat it. ;) It's a small gap.

Enjoy what you have!! There are no guarantees.

Most of us around here don't love our YM because of their age... but DESPITE it. ;) They can't help their age anymore than you can help yours. ENJOY!
~phos

Despite it, this is it, totally.
But you know how people are prompt to judge other people.... It doesnt matter to me as long as I am happy.
And yes, I might actually live longer haha

Well thank you for your answers.
For now anyway I dont want to rush... just want to enjoy what I have. If it doesnt work whats the difference with a relationship with a 32 y old man... nothing.

Bingo, Omess. You hit the target clear on the head. NO guarantees in life. ;)

Definitely enjoy what you have while you have it. One day at a time.

~phos

Wise answers!
The great thing about the couples 20's/30's is that absolutely EVERYTHING is still possible! You have challenges, but if you want, you will get over all of them.

When we are talking 20's/late 40's, 50's... the issue of him having his dream marriage and and having own kids is there, the woman's kids, his parents that freak... and a long list.

Just enjoy and take it easy! Good luck to you both!

Maria

Yup, he is old enough to have kids (hell some start at 20!) in a couple years and i am young enough to have kids still (I dont want to have kids when I am 40 y old...)

I'll keep your informed!

You cheered me up so much! Thanks!!

9 years is not alot =) besides, we all know that love has no age

OMG.... ok.. well I decided... to give it a real and good try!
I know you girls are sometimes older then me with a bigger gap than us and it works.. so 8/9 years... whats that?! Lets go! :D

Yes, as you can see I got good news today

*totally in love*

I have been in my relationship with my partner for 8 years. He is 36 and I am 47. Just recently he has started socializing with people in their early to mid-thirties without me. Now he says he is no longer attracted to me, but is willling to give it some time.

If I had it to do over again, I would not have invested 8 years of my life to end up alone and starting over at 47.

It was never a problem until he started to hit mid-thirties and then he started wanting to look and act younger, it seems. He now seems attracted to women his own age or younger, whereas when I met him, he was not. Go figure!

I am not in bad shape and look pretty darn good, if I must say so myself, (and apparently, I must.) lol.

Heartbreaking because I still love him.

Well I dont mean to minimize your pain but you arent scaring me away either.

What's life if you dont take risks? I mean I could be waiting a life time for the perfect relationship, meet a load of assholes on the way, and still end alone at 47..
What I can do NOW is to fill 10 y, 20 y, or more of my life with a man who respects me and loves me. We plan on having kids so I'm not gonna let myself be told that it's gonna be 10 years wasted.

I'm, I think :D , an attractive woman, I'm 31, I look good, I take care of myself, and I entend on staying that way. And if he leaves me one day, I wont have let myself go and I'll still look good, for my age :D And, it will have been 10 years filled with happiness, life is short, I have waited too long already by making the wrong, and I thought "secure", choices.

I mean I dated and had relationships with guys my age and one of them really cheated on me as much as he could and didnt respect me a bit. So...

About the fact that your ex wants to go out in bars and socialize thats what I want to do now, with my boyfriend, I am getting a divorce, married to a man who never does anything... doesnt read.. doesnt go to the movie... nothing... so yeah I might be 31 but I am very active, I dont see what he would miss by being with me.

And, anyway... 31 is not "old" and 40 either... it's what you are that makes you "old" or "older" .. Maybe you need someone different, as you said :)

I didnt mean to lecture you by the way, I am just saying that every relationship is different but we all have the same goal in life: happiness.