undying madness

well first off i guess i will show my photo, its from a year ago.

http://myspace-367.vo.llnwd.net/00284/76/39/284739367_l.jpg

i have emerald green eyes btw, just had to brag :p

anyway, is there such a thing as loving someone too deeply or too much? I mean I get through my days thinking of my OW all the time. Its almost like love is some sweet cancer that won't go away for a second. The fact that I can't be around her yet kills me inside when I think about it. You guys will probably tell me to find someone else but I believe in hope. Plus I have never been wanted by anyone before and I don't want to push myself away from someone who could be that forever love. I have done so much pondering on my AG LDR relationship that I must be around the age of 30 inside when I am only 18 on the outside. I have come to think of youth as a blessing and a curse..

When I go out everyday I see her face and hear her voice on every woman I see. I yearn for her to be around that next bend and to pull her close to me and never let go. I recite the things she feels for me too. Basking in her wonderful words of affection and adoration a lifetime over. But having to wait for this beautiful dove from heaven to finally set her wings around me make me depressed. I hide it in public and act like my normal flirtatious self around others.

I am not interested in any other woman and age doesn't matter, so dating women my own age wouldn't matter. What should I do? I have written her over 150 Romance & Love poems/stories in just four months. I haven't shown her my darker deeper poems of the longing for her. They would make her cry because she is very sensitive. Heck, I have been crying lately over her. I have never cried over any person before in my life..

If some of you could suggest something for me to do to occupy myself it would be greatly appreciated. I am not giving up on her, my own sadness is my fault for falling deeper in love so quickly. Should I read more, draw, sketch, play video games, sports? I am so confused and sad inside that I am an emotional mess..

I hope you don't mind, but I moved your thread to the LDR forum, because it sounds to me that most of what is bothering you right now is that dreaded distance.

Loving someone from afar is something that those of us here in the LDR forum are very familiar with.

My fiance is 5500 miles away from me. The distance has been excruciating and the time apart seems like it goes on forever. But, the one constant there is the love.

Do I have the opportunity to meet and date other men? Yup. Do I want to? No. I wasn't even looking for him when I found him. :) But, he is worth the wait for me. At some point, if I get tired of the distance and time between us, then I'll address that issue when it happens. Until then, I am committed to waiting until the day comes when we can be together.

And to occupy my time, I of course, come here and post. And, chat with friends, read books, have hobbies, and work. And, although he's never gone from my thoughts, at least, I have some distractions for a little while.

How far apart do you two live? Have you gotten to meet in person yet? And if not, do you know when you will be able to?

I live in Michigan and she lives in California. I haven't met her yet and I expect to within the next six months. i won't be able to be with her really though until two years are up :(. but i can wait. just need to work on school and do hobbies all the time.