It truely is over...

:( Well I am so confused now it almost doesnt matter any more. I am now feeling totally alone...although i do have a handful of very caring people if i need a friend.
Alot of people in my life I couldnt say any thing about my (ym) because they were totally against me getting hurt again ...from the same guy(ym) two years ago. Well its happened once again. I three months ago met up with him after two years and after some coaxing he got me to go out for a coffee. I was really hurt by this man already once so my guards were up. When we started doing this on a regular basis and I could finally relax and feel comfortable....I realized just how much I still love this guy. So a few weeks pass and he first comes to me and tells me how much he still loves me..and I mean its at the point where when i stare into his eyes I am mezmorized by him. Im usually very shy and turn away if someone is stareing ..with him I cant look away. This is a feeling I have never felt before. He just has to touch me and it all comes back. He was talking of long term plans for him and I ..and my children . He was talking about him and i oneday maybe marrying ...i mean it was getting serious. Sexually we were always more then great Definetly a attraction there...and very much still, i dont have to even touch him and he turns me totally on...this time we still havent slept together. We both said we dont want to hurt one another and want to make sure this is what we wanted before any of that. Dont get me wrong we have come so so close that its maddening. Lately (a couple weeks after he came to me with all his feelings) etc...hes now seeming withdrawn and quiet...i ask whats wrong he assures me nothing...but there just is...a woman can feel soemtimes without hearing words...Him and I the other night decided to have a talk. Now remember I love this man , never stopped i guess but i posted before how he lately has been acting like a player..well he was again and i decided I would mention this to him that it hurt when he bragged about other girls flirting with him..other girls wanting him...that it made him feel good. Ive always felt that him and i were on the same page with feelings but I think to make a long story short that he came back to me out of guilt, of hurting me so bad two years ago and really only wanted friendship but that i made him start to feel more....I told him maybe it wasnt going to work and he said he would honor anything I decided to do ...without a arguement or anything so there i realized we were feeling different...He says he loves me that he will never stop. He says that no one can make him feel as i do. That when hes with me hes alive and has purpose...that my heart will always belong to him. Yet here i sit now alone , day two of calling it off and no so much as a msg a email or a phone call from him. Im so devastated that i called it quits but yet i know its for the best , we both have to be on same wave length to get any thing to go with this. I feel that in deed Im not special ...or important to fight for...not even a phone call. But this is what I wanted right??????? then why does it hurt so much. I didnt realize how much he meant to me till we said goodbye the other night.....
Im loosing sleep ..cant eat ...this morning at 3am i woke with a awful feeling and before i went back to sleep I heavyly sobbed....what is this if its not love? thanks everyone for listening..sorry so long... *sigh*

You're the one who called it off. If you think the relationship is worth fighting for, the ball is in your court to make the call, IM or email. So, this is truly your decision and you must find a way to live with it ~ and if you can't... then fight for it.

In the meantime, you could probably use one of these... (((((HUG))))) I wish you luck in making up your mind. I can't tell you what is right for YOU.

~phos

You called it off.... but I know that it hurts anyway.

My YM is that type that never breaks up with anyone. But he just acts so passive that usually it drives the woman crazy and they will break up with him. Is this the case with him OR did you sabotage the relationship? I have done that as well.

I don't have much to offer in advice but I also have a BIG HUG for YOU.... Sorry that it hurts so badly. :(

Well its been almost a week and a half and he hasnt called me emailed me or nothing and i just found out he went to oakville and spent the weekend with another woman. SIGH ......what does that say......eh?

Sure he may think himself in love with you, but doesn't mean he wants to spend the rest of his life with you...believe me, you'll know a guy whose into you big time.

True, you're the one who broke up with him, but you called it as it is, are you saying now that your feeling 'alone' you're willing to put up with bad behaviour and all that crap about not feeling this way about anyone but you is yada, yada, yada...we both know that people in various relationships feel what they feel at that moment, I'm sure Elizabeth Taylor thought the same of each of her relationships. The truth is that we are all dispensable, some more than others, depending on what we feel, to how we look, to what society says. He was not on the same page as you, stop second guessing yourself just because you're feeling hurt and alone. Do you still feel this is his way, because he's not going to change unless he wants to. And unless you can accept him for who he is and what he does, no amount of coaxing from you will change that, he's a grown man...you've told him what you need, he didn't deliver, well...that's the way the cookie crumbles for him.

Now after you go through your period of berating yourself and crying in your pillow (while, mind you he shows no such feelings, he went away for the weekend, pray tell), dry your tears and don't waste another minute of your time on this issue. He's not into you, no matter how much he claims to love you, its one thing to love someone, its another to follow that love with actions that will show him to be predicatable about those actions and make you feel safe and secure. He's not showing that, keep him kick to the curb. There are others. Its not the end of the world.


Paris

:( Well I am so confused now it almost doesnt matter any more. I am now feeling totally alone...although i do have a handful of very caring people if i need a friend.
Alot of people in my life I couldnt say any thing about my (ym) because they were totally against me getting hurt again ...from the same guy(ym) two years ago. Well its happened once again. I three months ago met up with him after two years and after some coaxing he got me to go out for a coffee. I was really hurt by this man already once so my guards were up. When we started doing this on a regular basis and I could finally relax and feel comfortable....I realized just how much I still love this guy. So a few weeks pass and he first comes to me and tells me how much he still loves me..and I mean its at the point where when i stare into his eyes I am mezmorized by him. Im usually very shy and turn away if someone is stareing ..with him I cant look away. This is a feeling I have never felt before. He just has to touch me and it all comes back. He was talking of long term plans for him and I ..and my children . He was talking about him and i oneday maybe marrying ...i mean it was getting serious. Sexually we were always more then great Definetly a attraction there...and very much still, i dont have to even touch him and he turns me totally on...this time we still havent slept together. We both said we dont want to hurt one another and want to make sure this is what we wanted before any of that. Dont get me wrong we have come so so close that its maddening. Lately (a couple weeks after he came to me with all his feelings) etc...hes now seeming withdrawn and quiet...i ask whats wrong he assures me nothing...but there just is...a woman can feel soemtimes without hearing words...Him and I the other night decided to have a talk. Now remember I love this man , never stopped i guess but i posted before how he lately has been acting like a player..well he was again and i decided I would mention this to him that it hurt when he bragged about other girls flirting with him..other girls wanting him...that it made him feel good. Ive always felt that him and i were on the same page with feelings but I think to make a long story short that he came back to me out of guilt, of hurting me so bad two years ago and really only wanted friendship but that i made him start to feel more....I told him maybe it wasnt going to work and he said he would honor anything I decided to do ...without a arguement or anything so there i realized we were feeling different...He says he loves me that he will never stop. He says that no one can make him feel as i do. That when hes with me hes alive and has purpose...that my heart will always belong to him. Yet here i sit now alone , day two of calling it off and no so much as a msg a email or a phone call from him. Im so devastated that i called it quits but yet i know its for the best , we both have to be on same wave length to get any thing to go with this. I feel that in deed Im not special ...or important to fight for...not even a phone call. But this is what I wanted right??????? then why does it hurt so much. I didnt realize how much he meant to me till we said goodbye the other night.....
Im loosing sleep ..cant eat ...this morning at 3am i woke with a awful feeling and before i went back to sleep I heavyly sobbed....what is this if its not love? thanks everyone for listening..sorry so long... *sigh*


If you give guys a *no* signal, they often head for the hills, because they can't stand rejection. And this is so OPPOSITE some women, who just try harder in the same situation. I'd say you made the right decision. It all sounds too *iffy*!

Ali

IR Paris says "Now after you go through your period of berating yourself and crying in your pillow (while, mind you he shows no such feelings, he went away for the weekend, pray tell), dry your tears and don't waste another minute of your time on this issue. He's not into you, no matter how much he claims to love you, its one thing to love someone, its another to follow that love with actions that will show him to be predicatable about those actions and make you feel safe and secure. He's not showing that, keep him kick to the curb. There are others. Its not the end of the world."

Well said Ir Paris...I don't have anything to add, yes there are others, life goes on...and I especially agree with this part "it's one thing to love someone, it's anothr to follow that love with actions"...words are just words...however, words followed by actions will let you know that you can trust what he's saying. His actions are saying one thing and his saying another. Follow what his actions are telling you. ((Hugs))

Heres a big ole ((((HUG)))) for ya Frenchkizzs, so sorry. I have to agree that it seems as tho you have made the right choice. Hang in there.